All Clear
by sym64
Summary: A split second can change your life forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** All Clear

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately they are still not mine. I hope CBS and whoever owns the rights to Five-0 doesn't mind too much that I'm borrowing them for a short while.

**Summary: **A split second can change your life forever.

**A/N:** As always the facts told in this story are heavily researched and accurate to the best of my knowledge. But as always some facts are boring, and therefore needed some tweaking. ;-) Always remember this is for enjoyment, not to get a doctorate.

More notes at the end.

_**This is for my friends and wonderful betas Cokie and Sherry.**_

* * *

**All Clear**

Danny saw it happen like in slow motion. Just a few seconds ago he had given the 'all clear' and now he watched his best friend go down like a felled tree. Steve never even had a chance; Thomas Amuku swung the baseball bat and it connected with Steve's temple, making a sickening sound.

_How on earth could this have happened?_ Danny had been sure the room had been empty when he had called it out. Seconds later Amuku stood behind the task force leader and swung that damn bat.

The sound of his friend hitting the deck pulled Danny out of his shock. "Five-0! Drop the bat - get your hands behind your head!" Danny called out and trained his gun on their suspect.

"Drop it!" Chin yelled, coming in from the back room, raising his shot gun.

Amuku obviously realized that the two men in front of him meant business and surrendered his weapon and then himself. Chin cuffed the man and led him out of the room while Danny kneeled next to his partner.

"Steve?" He called his friend's name, but didn't dare move him. "Steve, come on, no sleeping on the job."

Danny tried to make light of the situation, it helped him focus and keep his hands from trembling when he carefully checked for a pulse. After a moment holding his breath he found a weak but steady throbbing. Danny made sure that Steve was breathing and listened to the nearing sirens, no doubt alerted by Chin.

Danny was glad that there was not a blood gushing wound, at least Steve was in no danger of bleeding to death. It concerned Danny a great deal that his friend was so utterly still, he didn't stir at all. There was no reaction whatsoever.

Thinking back to the blow… Danny shuddered remembering the impact and the terrible noise. He prayed that the skull wasn't smashed in and Steve wasn't bleeding into his brain.

Danny opened the snaps on Steve's vest, and carefully took the back part off. Steve still lay as he had dropped on his stomach, but Danny didn't dare move him after the forceful blow to the head. And as long as he was breathing okay, he would leave the moving part to the professionals.

He again tried to rouse his partner. "Steve? Steve, can you hear me?" But there was no reaction from the injured man.

Danny looked around the empty room and again wondered where the heck Amuku had come from. There simply wasn't a place a grown man could hide. Danny was still upset that he had declared the room safe and empty, and couldn't believe he had made such a mistake. A mistake his partner now had to pay for.

"Detective? Detective Williams! You can let go now."

Danny looked up and only then realized that two paramedics were kneeling next to him and that he held his partner's hand in a death grip.

"It's okay, Detective, we've got this," one of the EMTs gently said and nudged Danny to move out of the way so they could work on the way-too-still Steve.

"He… he was hit in the head… with a baseball bat… it was… a really hard blow, and he hasn't moved at all."

"Alright. Kim, help me turn him over," the bigger of the two EMTs said and together they gently turned McGarrett onto his back.

And again there was absolutely no reaction by the normally very lively lieutenant commander.

Kim pushed the rest of the vest out of the way and the two medics got to work. Danny stood back and watched them check his friend over. He couldn't understand what they were saying, but their faces showed the seriousness of Steve's injury loud and clear.

They had put an oxygen mask onto Steve's face and had started an IV. The neck brace was obligatory; with such a blow one could never be too careful. A neck injury was always a possibility.

A minute later they had Steve on a gurney. "Detective, are you coming with him?" Kim asked as they pulled the gurney up.

"Yes. Yes, I'm going with him," Danny answered and took the weapons that Kim had taken off of Steve.

Danny followed the EMTs and the gurney to the ambulance and informed Chin that he would stay with Steve. "I'll let you know as soon as I know anything."

A minute later Steve was secured in the ambulance and they were on their way to Queens Medical Center.

H50 – H50 – H50

The next hour was just a blur of activity. Danny was told to take a seat in the ER waiting room, but he was too anxious to even entertain the idea of sitting down. He was pacing the room and probably drove everyone crazy. But no one was brave enough to tell the nervous man to sit the heck down. Or maybe they were too kind hearted to disturb the distressed man.

It took another ninety minutes until finally a doctor came to take him to his friend. Or so he thought. He followed the young doctor to one of the offices.

"What's going on, where is Steve?"

"Dr. Kiley will be with you in a minute," the young intern told Danny.

Danny watched the doctor leave and took a look around the small office. It was clear to him that being in this office wasn't boding well. In his experience, doctors never delivered good news in their offices.

"Detective? I'm Dr. Steven Kiley, I'm sorry you had to wait. Please have a seat," The mid-forty almost white haired doctor told Danny as he introduced himself.

"How is Steve?" Danny didn't even wait until they both sat.

"I was told you were witness to the incident that led to the commander's injury?"

"Yes, I've… I saw the blow," Danny said and again the scene played in front of his eyes.

"Detective, you realize that it was a very hard hit your friend took to the temple?" After Danny nodded at the rhetorical question, Dr. Kiley continued. "Due to the force of the hit Commander McGarrett suffered a severe concussion."

"Damn."

"Yeah, well, that is actually the good news."

"What?"

"The blow also cracked his skull. Thankfully the bone was not dented in," Kiley added before Danny could ask anything.

"So, that's good, right?"

"Yes, it plays in his favor. Detective, what do you know about the brain?"

"What do you mean?" Danny looked rather confused and got slightly irritated that he still didn't know how Steve was doing.

"The brain is not stationary, in simple terms it floats like in a pool cushioned by fluid. When McGarrett was hit on the left side of his head, the brain suffered hits to both sides because it swung over to the right due to the energy from the blow."

"Oh—kay."

"There is a good amount of swelling at the moment, and a small bleed on the left side."

"He's bleeding into his brain?" Danny knew that was very bad.

"There is some intracranial hemorrhaging, yes. That is causing, combined with the swelling, a rise of the intracranial pressure."

"That's also really bad, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Kiley looked at the detective and knew he had to choose his next words carefully. "You are listed as one of his emergency contacts and also his medical proxy. You might have to make some tough decisions tonight."

"What are you talking about?"

"At the moment McGarrett is critical and in the ICU. We are monitoring him very closely. He is weakly reacting to strong pain stimuli, but other than that he is deeply unconscious. So far he is breathing on his own, but that can change any minute. Detective, I won't sugar coat his condition; it's very serious."

"But he will be okay?"

Dr. Kiley took a moment to think about that question before he gave his answer. "I can't give you an answer to that. His chances will increase if he makes it through the night. Detective, we might have to operate on him to relieve the pressure, and we will need your consent for it."

"Of course. If that is what he needs then I'll sign the papers." There was no question that he would sign anything that would help his friend. As long as that was all that was required of him. He was not ready to make a life and death decision for Steve, even though they had talked about that possibility. "Can I see him?"

"Yeah, sure. But just for a few minutes."

Danny followed Dr. Kiley to the ICU and was worried what would await him.

H50 – H50 – H50

_**Queens Medical Center – three days later**_

Steve had the mother of all headaches and didn't dare move or open his eyes. His head felt like his brain had decided it needed to come out. Unfortunately there was no opening for it, so it was pressing against the skull and Steve felt nothing but incredible pain. It was not just located to one spot, but was engulfing him in one giant bubble of wildly hammering agony.

Steve couldn't help the groan slipping past his parched lips.

"Steve?'"

_Oh God, stop yelling!_ Steve was sure his name was only whispered but it felt like an explosion going off inside his head. Which caused him to groan even more pitifully than before.

"Steve, are you awake?"

_Argh, please, stop that._

"Hang in there, buddy, I'm getting the doctor."

Thankfully whoever had yelled at him left and the room was bathed into silence. Well, not counting the heart monitor's low beeping that set off mini explosions inside Steve's head with each low beep.

He obviously had landed himself in the hospital; _would be nice to know how that had happened_. Steve tried to take stock of his body, and found that he felt fine, except the pounding, excruciating headache of course. Steve had yet to open his eyes, but he had no real desire to do so. He knew from prior experience that would end in ungodly pain and either puking his guts out or blissful unconsciousness.

Which would be preferable to puking. Steve had had a concussion before and knew without a doctor needing to tell him that this one was pretty severe. He had no recollection of how he got injured, or when, or where for that matter. Those were all strong indicators that he had gotten his bell rung more than just a little bit.

Steve was just about to nod off when he was addressed again. "Commander?"

_What is it with these people yelling like that? _"Stp yll pls." _That came out all garbled. Damn. _Steve realized that no one would be able to understand his mumbled words.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I'm sure your head hurts."

_Oh, you're sure, aren't you? Maybe do something about it?_

"I'm giving you something for the pain; you should feel better in a minute."

The voice was actually delivering on that promise when something cold invaded Steve's veins. He hadn't even realized that he had an IV near his clavicle. _Wow, a central line. Must be seriously… wow, that stuff is fast._ Steve's thoughts jumped all over the place, and he had a really hard time keeping his thoughts in check and concentrate on the voice still talking to him.

"Commander, can you open your eyes for us?"

_That is not gonna happen, not in this lifetime._ Steve tried to voice his objection, but couldn't get the words out. "Ugh," was all that was hearable.

"The lights are off; it's almost dark in here. Please try to open your eyes."

The voice obviously wasn't giving up so Steve gave it a try. His eyelids felt like they weighed a ton, but after a bit of struggle he managed to open them to half-mast. Not that it would have done him any good, because there was nothing to see. Literally nothing.

Steve blinked a few times and was able to make out a few blurry images, but even the little light that illuminated the room was like daggers into his eyes and they went straight into his brain, making him groan and close his eyes tightly shut. Intending to never open them again.

"Commander, I'll ask you some questions, alright?"

"Uh huh." Steve was not keen on playing twenty questions, but maybe if he answered one or two the annoying man would shut up and leave.

"Can you tell me your name?"

_What kind of stupid question is that? Sure I can, Steve McGarrett._

"Commander? Did you hear me?"

_Oh, guess I should say it aloud._ "Steve M'Garet" _Uh, talking is hard._

"That's close enough. Do you know where you are?"

"'ospital."

"Do you know what happened?"

"No. 'm tired."

Steve fought for a moment to stay awake, but moments later he slipped back to sleep.

H50 – H50 – H50

"How is he, Doc?" Danny Williams looked down at his friend who had just fallen back asleep.

He thought back to the last three days, fluctuating between hope and worry that his friend wouldn't make it. Twenty long hours the prospect of brain surgery hung over them, but Steve had dodged the bullet and the pressure on his brain lessened and Dr. Kiley declared his condition serious but stable. That was two days ago.

Ever since then Steve had been unconscious and this was the first time that he had found his way back to wakefulness. Danny thought it was a great sign, even though Steve had only been semi-conscious and only for a couple of minutes. It worried Danny that his friend had obviously been in a great deal of pain.

"He is doing better than we had expected three days ago. We need to wait and do more tests, but so far everything looks good."

"He seemed to be in a lot of pain."

"That is to be expected. He suffered a severe concussion; the pain will stay with him for a few weeks. Not as severe as now, but he will suffer some serious headaches."

"But you can give him something for that, right?"

"Of course. We'll make sure he's as comfortable as possible," Dr. Kiley assured Danny. "I will be back in a few hours; hopefully we will be able to perform a few more tests then. You should go home, McGarrett will sleep for a while."

"Okay, I need to check in with Five-0 anyway. Please call me if there is any change or problem."

Danny took one last look at his resting partner and was out the door.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve managed to elevate the headrest of the bed he was lying in. He looked around the room and was happy to realize that the light streaming through the blinds didn't bother him that much. At least as long as he wasn't directly looking at the windows. Doing so sent his headache into orbit, as he had experienced a minute ago.

The pain was still throbbing inside his skull, but at a more bearable level. Whatever drug he was given it was doing a pretty amazing job. Now he only needed to find out where the heck he was.

_Obviously in a hospital, genius._ Yeah, but what hospital, and what the heck has happened that had sent him into a world of pain and confusion?

It was obvious that he had only suffered a head injury; the rest of his body was intact as he noted earlier. He felt no pain or even a small ache on any part of his body beside his head. Of course that made up for the lack of other pain.

The pain increased with every passing minute he was awake, and Steve wished he had a PCA so he could get some relief from the agony taking residence in his head. He did the next best thing and pressed the button to call the nurse.

Just a few moments later not only a nurse came in, but also the annoying doctor from earlier. No doubt in the mood for even more questions.

"Commander McGarrett, it's good to see you awake," the doctor said as he took the clip board from the foot of Steve's bed. "How do you feel?"

"Who are you, and how long have I been here?" Steve had to close his eyes after he managed to ask his question. Nausea was threatening to overwhelm his senses.

"I'm sorry. My name is Steven Kiley, I'm your attending neuro-surgeon. Commander, do you feel sick?"

"A little," Steve answered without opening his eyes.

"We might need to switch your anti-nausea meds. How is the pain at the moment?"

"Getting worse," was Steve's short answer.

"Okay, we will change your pain management," Kiley said and a moment later Steve could hear the telltale click of the attached IV pump releasing more medication into his IV.

"You didn't answer my question," Steve grumbled.

"I'm getting to that. Today is your fourth day here. You were hit on Monday. Do you have any recollection of what happened?"

"No." Steve didn't even know where he was; how the hell did the doc expect him to know what had happened?

"Your partner said—"

"My partner?" Steve opened his eyes to look at his doctor. The mention of his partner was an interesting development. "Was he hurt?"

"No, no, Detective Williams is fine. He wasn't hurt," Kiley assured his patient.

"Who?"

"Your partner, Danny Williams," Dr. Kiley said slowly.

Steve stared at his doctor and got the terrible feeling that he was missing a huge part of the picture. Who the hell was Danny Williams?

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve stared at the ceiling and wondered how he had ended up with Swiss cheese for a memory. It seemed that his brain had decided to completely wipe out almost three years. He knew that his father had been killed and that he had been on his way to the funeral. But that is where his memory ended.

He had no idea that he had stayed in Hawaii, formed a task force, and was now fighting crime on his home island. It had been a total shock to learn that he was no longer an active member of the Navy.

_That **must** be a mistake. Why the heck would he leave the Navy? He loved his job._ Steve's thoughts came back to that question. What would be interesting enough for him to give up his career in the Navy to become a cop? That was just ridiculous. He was not a damn cop, he was a SEAL.

It was not a good idea to become so agitated, his head reminded him of that with a spike of pain lancing through his skull. Steve closed his eyes and tried to ride it out, but soon he realized that wouldn't work and pressed the button for the PCA to get another dose of pain medication.

He had talked his doctor into letting him control the amount of drugs he took. Kiley had agreed rather reluctantly, but in the end he did. Steve hated the feeling to lose control over his mind, and the drugs made his mind all fuzzy. But the pain was even worse; it made it impossible to think, so he took the dopey feeling over the debilitating pain.

Steve dozed for a little bit until a visitor came into the room. It was a short blond man, who looked rather nervous. Steve was sure that he had never seen him in his life. But from the description Dr. Kiley had given him, he knew this had to be Detective Williams.

Steve looked him up and down and despite the pain still hammering behind his forehead couldn't keep the smile off his face. Williams obviously had no idea what to do with his hands, or if it was better to stay still or move closer to the bed. A few times he looked like he started to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. He kind of looked like a fish out of water.

It was actually quite the show and Steve enjoyed it. Maybe a little too much, but watching the detective relaxed him, and even made the headache dissipate a little more.

"So, you're Detective Williams?" Steve finally put the guy out of his misery.

"Danny."

"Steve. Guess you know that, huh?" Steve had to grin at his own introduction.

"Yeah. How are you doing? How's the pain?"

"Head hurts like shit," Steve answered honestly. Besides, every idiot could see that he was hurting big time, no reason to deny that.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault, no reason to apologize."

"But that's just it. It was my fault that you got hit. I… I'm so sorry."

Steve looked at the detective and could see that guilt and sorrow were eating at him. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault. But even if it was, shit happens, don't fret about it."

"You really don't remember anything?"

"Oh, I remember everything, but absolutely nothing after boarding the plane to come here," Steve told his… he wasn't sure what to call the detective. What their relationship would be in the future. Steve had the feeling that his memory wouldn't come back. "Maybe you should tell me about yourself. What this 'Five-0' is all about."

"I don't know, Steve. Kiley said we shouldn't tell you every little detail—"

"I'm not talking about every detail; give me the Cliffs notes version."

Twenty minutes later Steve was exhausted, his head was killing him, and he was in serious doubt about what Danny had told him. That all sounded just too 'out there' to be true.

"I think you should rest. You look beat. I'll be back later, okay?"

Steve looked at the detective and had hoped hearing about what they went through would trigger something in his memory, but nothing of the sort had happened. "Okay."

Steve watched Williams leave and felt a deep sadness taking over. It had sounded like they had become good friends. And it saddened him that he felt no connection whatsoever to the man. He felt like a total stranger to him.

With the thoughts of Five-0 on his mind Steve drifted off to sleep.

H50 – H50 – H50

Four days went by with no change to Steve's memory. Catherine Rollins had visited every day, and she was the only person he could really talk to. She had known him for years, and those years he could remember. And he remembered Freddy's words, not to mess this up. So he tried his best not to. But it was hard not to remember the time they had spent together in Hawaii.

She had been the one to tell him about his mother. He wasn't sure what to think about that development. And only when Cath had produced recent photos of him and his mom had he started to believe her.

Governor Denning had also come by to assure him that no matter what the job as head of Five-0 was still his to keep. Steve had thanked him but also told him he wasn't sure yet what he planned to do.

And that was the honest truth. Steve had no idea what to do. For him it was like he was still on active duty in the Navy, and he saw no real reason to change that. The reasons from three years ago were no longer valid; it had all been taken care of.

He had a team he knew nothing about, a job he knew nothing about. What did he know about being a cop? What right did he have to take such a position? It felt all so wrong to him.

He had spent many hours thinking about all what had happened, about all the possibilities he had.

He could stay in Hawaii and lead the Special Task Force. A job he had no idea about. He could surround himself with a team that he knew nothing about. Trust his life into their hands. Into the hands of strangers.

He had no problem with trusting his team, but those people were _not_ his team. He didn't even know them. Even though he had talked to Detec… excuse me, _Danny_, and with Chin Ho for hours, he still felt no connection to them. They were just people telling him stories about a fourth member of Five-0, currently in China, and what they had done in the past.

Steve felt like something was wrong with him, the way he couldn't connect to them. He had the feeling that they had been really good friends. But it was simply not happening. Dr. Kiley had assured him that it was not his fault, that his reaction was perfectly normal.

Staying with Five-0 was one possibility; the other was going back to active duty. He had talked with a Captain here in Pearl about that possibility. He had assured Steve that he could come back anytime. His commission would be re-activated, and he would probably even get a promotion. _I'll believe that when it happens_, Steve thought.

He would be on sick leave for at least another few weeks, maybe a few months. The headaches were really messing with him. He couldn't stay upright without getting dizzy, and the skull fracture needed time to heal. So, he would be out of commission for weeks.

Time he could use to think about what to do. He was sure he would need those weeks to come to a decision. He needed to grieve for his father and Freddy, that phase was also lost from his memory. He needed to re-connect to his mother and his sister.

And maybe, just maybe that time would help him find a connection to his former friends of Five-0.

But Steve had the feeling that wouldn't happen.

H50 – H50 – H50

**Seriously, this is the end. **

_**A split second can change your life forever.**_

* * *

Okay, hold your horses. THIS really was the end, and this whole story was a gift to my two incredible betas. BUT they screamed bloody murder and threatened not to talk to me again if I wouldn't fix Steve. I told them 'NO', Steve is gone. They wouldn't believe me. I wonder why?

So, after a lengthy time of threats and finally begging, which I assure you was not a pretty sight, I wrote them a second chapter. But I'm not promising anything. Steve might still be gone at the end of that one.

Look for the conclusion coming in a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Oh guys, you really humble me. Thank you so much for all your strong reactions to this story. Thank you so much for all your reviews. **_

_**And because you gave me such great feedback I thought that deserved a reward. So, here you go, a second chapter. Hope you will enjoy it.**_

* * *

**All Clear – Chapter 02**

Steve took a deep breath and could feel how the debilitating pain slowly receded and left only the light throbbing behind which would stay with him for a couple of hours. Even three weeks after getting hit in the head he still suffered extreme headaches. Mostly in the early morning hours, like right now.

The prescription pain medication in form of a spray worked pretty fast, but it also made him a little nauseous.

"Is it getting better?" Catherine asked.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Steve said and turned to look at her in the dim light of the rising sun. He still wondered that they were now living under one roof.

"You were trembling; this was a bad one, wasn't it?"

Cath had laid her hand on his chest and Steve grabbed it before answering. "Yeah, but don't worry, they only last for a short while. And I don't get them as often anymore."

"Once a day is too often in my books, Steve," Cath softly said.

"Hmm," Steve only mumbled his reply. He didn't like to talk about it, so he switched the topic. "When do you have to be on base?"

"Eleven hundred."

"What do you say to going out for breakfast? And I promise no eating in the truck this time."

Steve could feel how Cath stopped breathing and looked at him in shock. "What did you say?"

"Would you like to go out for breakfast?" Steve repeated his question.

"You remember us having breakfast in the truck? Steve, what do you remember about that?"

"I… we… and then…" Steve stuttered and looked wide eyed at Cath. "We had breakfast and there was romantic music… no, wait… it was just loud music… and then you complained about… not sure what you complained about," Steve told her and tried to grab more of the memory.

"Anything else you can remember?"

"Uh,… no, I don't think so." Steve looked at his friend and saw the hope in her eyes.

"Well, it's a first step," she said, smiling reassuringly at him. "I'm sure the rest will also come back."

Steve wasn't so sure about that, but didn't have the heart to crush her hope.

H50 – H50 – H50

_**Queens Medical Center, Psychological wing, early afternoon**_

Steve looked around the treatment room, if you could even call it that. It was a rather small room, but had big windows on two sides which let a lot of sunlight in. It felt airy and probably made everyone feel comfortable. It didn't hurt that the armchair Steve was sitting in was darn comfortable as well.

"Steve, how are you today?" Dr. Anson asked as he entered and took his place on the couch across Steve.

"Okay, I guess," Steve answered and at the moment that was the truth. He didn't have a headache and was not dizzy, something he was thankful for.

"I like to thank you again for agreeing to participate in our study, Commander."

"Dr. Kiley said you might be able to help me recover my memory," Steve was rather skeptical about that, but Cath had asked him to give it a shot. So, here he was.

"Well, we will at least figure out if your amnesia is caused solely by the injury, or if there is a underlying psychological reason for it," Dr. Anson elaborated.

"You mean like I don't want to remember?"

"There is no easy answer for that. It is unusual how precise your memory loss is, not unheard of, but it is still unusual that just your time in Hawaii was wiped out. I'm still pretty sure though your case doesn't involve any mental reasons for your memory loss." Anson paused and took a picture out of the file folder he had placed next to him on the couch. "This is today's CT we did an hour ago. Your linear fracture is healing nicely. But remember it will take at least two more months before you can think about going back to duty."

"That long?"

"Maybe even more. A skull fracture takes a lot longer to completely heal than any other bone. So, you have to take it easy for a few more weeks," Anson said and put the scan back into his file. "How are you coping with the headaches? Dr. Kiley told me you're still getting them?"

"Ehm, yeah, but seldom during the day. It mostly happens in the early morning," Steve explained and had wondered why that was.

"Does the medication help?"

"Yeah, it's pretty good," Steve paused and thought about why he was really here, to talk about his memory. "I kind of remembered something this morning."

"What was that?"

"I hadn't even been aware of it. I said something and used a prior experience as an example," Steve told his doctor.

"And you weren't aware that the memory had been lost before?"

"No. No, not at all. It was just there, I didn't even think about it. Catherine thinks that the rest will also come back, but…"

"But you don't believe that?"

"No. I can't call up one single memory from the last three years. It's like it never even happened. Sometimes I wonder if it did," Steve said and wasn't sure if he had revealed too much.

"You think your friends are making up those stories?"

"How can I be sure that any of what they tell me is true? I don't know those people. I'm not sure I can trust them."

"Do you trust Catherine?"

"Yes." There was no doubt for him about her.

"And she trusts _those people_, as you call them?" The doctor wanted to know.

"Yeah. She keeps telling me what good friends Williams and I are, but… I just don't feel any connection. Shouldn't I feel _something_ for him if we were such good friends?" Steve had wondered about that ever since he had met Detective Williams for the 'first' time back at the hospital.

He had spent many hours with the man; they had talked about almost every subject they could think of, but Steve never felt like he 'clicked' with the guy.

"Have you met his daughter yet?"

"No. She's been on vacation with her mother. She will be back today, and I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. I don't have that much experience with kids, you know? Williams said I'm really great with Grace and that she loves me. But… I don't know." Steve really didn't know how he felt about meeting William's daughter. "She and her dad will come by the house tomorrow."

"Do you feel at home at your house yet?" Dr. Anson asked.

"Not really. It feels kind of strange being in that house. I haven't been home in a while, but I guess I did live there the last three years." Steve still felt odd about all the little things he discovered every day that he had changed since he'd come back to the islands three years ago.

"Have you met with friends on the island? Friends from before three years ago?"

"Yeah, I went to see Mamo a couple of days ago, an old family friend. But other than that… no."

"Why not, Commander? I'm sure you know more people here."

"Well, I had spent more than a week in the hospital. And when I got home… I slept a lot. I still was getting dizzy and hadn't been feeling so good. I'm only back on my feet, more or less, for the last three days or so." Steve had to admit that he still tired easily and couldn't read for any length of time. Fast movements made him incredibly dizzy and he still had a slightly wonky vision. Driving was also out of the question at the moment.

His neurologist had told him he could expect a great improvement in the next ten days though.

"I see. But you're feeling okay at the moment?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"Okay. Now, back to Grace. It might be possible that she's the person that will trigger your memory. You shouldn't meet her alone. If your memory comes back at once, that can be very overwhelming," Dr. Anson voiced his concern.

"That won't happen. I mean I won't be alone with Grace. I don't think Williams trusts me with his daughter," Steve told the psychiatrist. "And she won't trigger any memory."

"Why do you say that?" His doctor was curious.

"I just know. I have NO recollection of her, not even a faint feeling, or memory, or whatever. Believe me, I have tried to come up with _something_… anything really… but there simply is _nothing_." Steve had become pretty frustrated when he had tried to call up any memory. The only thing his efforts had given him was a serious headache.

"Sometimes it's really the little things that brings the memory back," Anson tried to assure him.

"Yeah, maybe. But I know that there are a lot of cases where the memory never comes back. Right?"

"That is also a possibility, yes. But don't give up—"

"I don't give up on anything. I'm just not as blind to the possibility as my 'friends' are." Steve used air quotes for the word friends. They didn't feel like friends, they still felt like strangers.

"You don't seem very open to the possibility of recovering your full memory."

"No, I'm not. It just doesn't feel like it will come back. I can't really explain it," Steve said and knew that he was saying the same thing over and over. He had told Catherine, Williams and everyone who had asked, that he didn't believe his memory would come back. It just felt like it was lost forever.

"Well, you might be wrong about it. On the other hand it's good to prepare for that possibility too. But as I said, you should not give up on your memory just yet. The brain is a funny thing, and sometimes it just needs the right trigger to 're-boot'." Now Anson was using air quotes.

"It's just who I am, I'm dealing with the situation and will move on. Nothing I can change about that," Steve told the doctor how he had handled every situation in his life so far.

"That's okay, Commander. So, have you met with your mother?"

"No. And I'm not going to in the near future."

Anson frowned at that. "Is she not on the islands?"

"No, she isn't, but she tried to call a few times, but I don't want to talk to her," Steve paused for a moment and gently rubbed his temple where a mild throbbing had started a couple of minutes ago. He hoped it wouldn't develop into a full blown migraine. He didn't bring his acute pain medication with him. "I don't feel up to dealing with her."

"Commander, would you like us to stop? Are you okay?"

"Headache's coming on," Steve said and closed his eyes when the light coming through the windows started to hurt.

"Do you want to lie down?"

"No, I… I just need a minute." Steve knew that the pain would be intense but it wasn't one of the debilitating migraines he suffered most mornings. This would be over in a few minutes.

"Anything I can do?"

"Uh, no."

They both fell silent for a few minutes while Steve suffered through extreme bursts of pain lancing through his skull; making him dizzy and nauseous. He felt cold sweat breaking out on his forehead, and he knew that his skin felt cold and clammy. The pain made him shiver and tremble.

"Commander, do you need me to call for help?"

Steve heard the psychologist's concerned voice, and wondered what sight he must present at the moment. "No, it'll be okay in a minute," Steve panted out.

Another two minutes passed, but finally Steve opened his eyes again and smiled at the still very concerned looking doctor.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah, pain's almost gone. Sorry for this show," Steve added a bit embarrassed.

"No, don't be, that's okay. Glad you're feeling better. I think we should end our meeting for today," Anson said.

"Yeah, okay," Steve said and took a look at his watch. He still had almost an hour until he had a meeting with Williams at HQ. Ample time to make his way over there.

"See you in two days, Commander. I hope your meeting with Grace tomorrow will go smoothly."

"Thank you, I hope so too."

Steve said his good bye and was on his way to meet with the detective from New Jersey.

H50 – H50 – H50

**Five-0 Headquarters – 1530 hours**

Steve went into the building housing the Five-0 headquarters and took his time to take everything in. It was the first time since he received the injury that he had come for a visit. He hadn't been kidding when he told the psychiatrist that he hadn't been up to any visiting friends or running around in general. So, any conversations had always happened at his house where he could lay down when he got tired.

But he felt it was time to pay a visit to the place he had been working the last three years. Coming into the building didn't do anything for him. Sure he knew the building and had been here before. But that was 'way' before. Just as with the people working 'for him' he felt like he didn't share any history with this building.

Steve smiled when Duke Lukela came to greet him.

"Steve; so good to see you back on your feet. How are you doing? You had us worried," the older officer said and shook Steve's hand.

"Thanks, Duke. I'm doing okay." Steve remembered Duke from when he had visited his dad a couple of times when he had been in Hawaii.

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know, Duke. It'll be a while," Steve told him. No need to tell him that he probably wouldn't come back at all.

"I hope you will be alright soon. Take care, Steve. We miss you here."

Steve watched Duke leave and wondered if that was just a saying or if he was really missed by a few people.

Thankfully he didn't meet any more people on his way to the Five-0 offices. It was always kind of awkward to be greeted without having any idea who the person was. Steve stopped in front of the door and looked inside, seeing no one standing in the main office he opened the door and entered.

The offices left and right were also unoccupied, for which Steve was thankful. He made his way further into the main sector of the open spaced office and stopped at the seal on the floor.

He had to admit he was a bit impressed, by the office just as much as at what he had learned about Five-0. Even though he had no memory of being part of it, he realized that Five-0 had been an important part in crime fighting on the islands.

Steve moved past the emblem on the floor and looked at the smart table. Touching it brought on the field to key in his password, and without even thinking he typed it in and the table was alight with files and information about their latest case.

'Knowing' the passcode for the table or for the security system at home didn't mean his memory came back. Steve knew it was only muscle memory. As soon as he started to actually think about what the code was, he couldn't tell. Simply because the memory was not in his brain; at least not available to him.

Steve wondered for a moment where everyone was, but was also glad that he had a bit of time to explore the offices on his own. Without prying eyes watching his every reaction. That was really starting to get on his nerves.

He suddenly heard laughter from outside the office and hurried to shut down the computer; he had no desire to explain how he had managed to fire it up. Steve turned to the door and watched two of his team coming in. Williams and Chin looked up in surprise seeing him standing in the main office.

"Steve, hey, good to see you. I didn't expect you so early." Danny said and greeted his friend with a warm smile.

"Hey, Steve. Did you take a look around?" Chin wanted to know.

"Yeah," Steve answered and pretty much ignored Williams. That man gave him a headache with his fast talking, not to mention his wild flying hands. "It's pretty impressive what you have here."

"We. What _**we**_ have here, Steven."

Steve only looked at Williams and didn't say anything. "Chin, I was hoping you might give me a little tour, and maybe access to the server? I thought I could take a look at some cases."

"Of course. That's a good idea. So, you're doing better? If you want I can install it so that you can use your big screen at home."

"That would be great, thank you. That will make it easier."

"Sure, that's not a problem. I could drive you home when you're ready and quickly install it."

"Yeah, thank you."

"You didn't drive here?" Danny wanted to know.

"No, I didn't. I can't drive. It makes me dizzy and I get blurry vision." Steve didn't mean to make Williams feel guiltier than he already felt, but it seemed every time he opened his mouth he said something to remind Williams that he was partially the reason for Steve's situation. Steve didn't even blame him at all. In his eyes it was not Williams' fault that he had been almost killed.

Dr. Anson said Steve was looking for someone to blame, even if it was just subconsciously. He said it was a normal reaction and he shouldn't worry about it. But Steve didn't want to inflict pain in Williams, and even a blind man could see that the detective was hurting. Hurting because of what had happened on that fateful day.

"Hey, listen, it's okay, I will be fine. Dr. Kiley said I should expect improvement in the next week or so. I'll be okay," Steve tried to reassure Williams.

"That's good, Steve. Did they do any tests at the hospital today? I hope you don't mind me asking?" Williams added, obviously not sure anymore if it was his place to ask that.

"No, I don't mind at all. They did a CT, and everything looks good. But they said it will be at least two more months before I can go back to duty," Steve said and didn't elaborate on what duty he was talking about.

"That's a long time," Chin chimed in.

"Yeah. Something about the skull needing incredibly long to completely heal. The doc said it would be dangerous to go back too soon. So…"

"Nah, that's okay, Steve, take all the time you need. Have you talked to Denning?"

"Only very briefly, but I have a meeting with him next week," Steve told them.

"What are you going to tell him?"

Steve looked at Williams and wondered what he expected him to say? "I don't know. I'm looking into all options at the moment. But actually, it's too soon to make any decisions. I won't decide anything in the next few weeks." Steve really had no idea what to do. Staying felt wrong, but leaving didn't feel right either.

"I'm sure everything will work out in the end, Steve. Just give it time," Chin said.

"Oh, I have plenty of time at the moment. Not much I can actually do right now," Steve said and sounded a bit frustrated. But it was the truth, he couldn't do much. Reading gave him a major headache, if he was even able to make out the letters. Even watching TV made his head hurt. He had tried to work on the Marquis, but bending down still sent incredible bursts of pain into his head. So, that was also out of the question.

The only thing he could really do was sit on the beach and watch the waves. He also went for a few short swims, but always close to the beach. It had been more of floating in the water than actually swimming. But it had helped him to relax, so he had tried to get in the water ever since he had been able to stay on his feet without getting too dizzy.

He still suffered a few dizzy spells every day, but they were not as severe as before. He knew he was improving, but it was frustrating.

"Steve!"

"Huh?" Steve looked up and saw two concerned faces looking at him; he must have zoned out again. "I'm sorry. I'm okay. I was just thinking."

"Uh huh," Williams didn't sound very convinced.

"Really, it's okay. So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Steve looked at Williams and wondered what was on his mind.

"Yes. You wanna go into your office?"

That was an interesting question. Steve hadn't been to his office yet. He wondered what was awaiting him there. "Yeah, sure."

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve sat at his desk and took in the decor of the office. There were numerous items he remembered but also a few new ones. He looked at Williams and had to smile; that man looked very nervous again, like he had bad news to deliver.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" Steve gave his former partner an opening. He felt bad about thinking of him like that, but he couldn't help it. At the moment Williams didn't feel like a partner or friend.

"Yeah, I did," Williams began. "Um, you know Gracie is really happy to see you tomorrow. My daughter really loves you a lot, you know."

"You told me that already," Steve interrupted.

"I know. It's just, well… I mean… you are… and…" he stopped, obviously at a loss for words.

"What is it you're trying to tell me?" Steve was now really curious. He might not remember the detective from before, but so far he hadn't really seen him running out of words.

"Okay, here is the deal. I know you don't like me—"

"Whoa, who said I don't like you?"

"You don't even call me by name, Steve. And I bet you don't even think of me as Danny," Williams said.

"No, I don't," Steve softly admitted. "I think of you as Williams. I'm sorry, Danny. Really, I am. But I don't remember you. I don't _**know**_ you."

"It's okay. Don't apologize; it's not your fault. It's just really hard for me because you're my best friend and being the reason for all this—"

"Danno! It was not your fault. How often do I have to tell you this?" Steve again interrupted.

"What did you just call me?"

"Danny. Isn't that what you just complained about, that I don't use your name?" Steve looked at him with irritation.

"You said Danno."

"Huh?"

"Danno. That's the name my daughter calls me… and you. You said it was a term of endearment when I told you not to call me that. Do you remember calling me Danno?"

Steve looked at Danny and thought about booking someone; he almost had the phrase when a fierce pain shot into his temple. He groaned and his hand flew to the side of his head. It was the second time today, and this time he knew it would end in a full blown migraine. "Danny, can you drive me home?" Steve asked and had to grab for the edge of the table to keep his balance.

"Of course. Are you getting a migraine? Do you have your medication with you?"

"Yes, and no," Steve said and hoped the pain wouldn't really hit until he was home and able to use the spray.

"Okay, let's go," Danny said and grabbed his friend's arm to guide him out to the car.

It only took them fifteen minutes to reach Steve's house, but it was five minutes too late. Steve sat on the passenger seat and could barely breathe. He was trembling and the intense pain made him sick to his stomach. He had closed his eyes, but even the little light shining through the eyelids felt like thousand suns shining right into his brain, frying it.

"Where is your medication?" Danny asked as he kneeled down next to his sitting partner. "Steve, where is your spray?"

"B… bath… room"

"Stay here."

That statement actually made Steve chuckle. He couldn't even roll out of the car, much less get out and walk into the house. He never had one of these debilitating pain attacks during the day, they always happened at night or in the early morning hours. Steve concentrated on breathing and waited for Williams to come back.

"Steve? Here are your meds," Danny said and pressed the small bottle into Steve's hand.

Steve didn't waste any time, shook the bottle and took a dose of the tasteless pain medication. Normally it worked almost instantly. It was no different this time, the worst pain receded into the background and left him with just a really bad headache. He breathed a sigh of relief a couple of minutes later and tentatively opened his eyes. And was very happy that his brain didn't explode after all.

"You feel any better? Can you make it out of the car?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. Thank you, Danny," Steve said and smiled his thanks to the detective.

"Then come on, let's get you inside."

They made their way into the house and Steve gratefully sat down on the couch, leaning his head back and debating whether to take another dose of the strong medication, or to simply wait it out.

"Take another shot, Steve. I can see you thinking," Danny said with a grin.

Steve did just that and waited until the pain was just a moderate throbbing that he knew would not go away for a few hours no matter if he took anything else or not. He sat up a bit more and looked at Williams. "Will you try again telling me what is bothering you?"

"What?"

"You tried to tell me something in the office. Not very successfully, I might add," Steve reminded him of his stuttering at HQ.

"Are you up for this? Don't you want to lie down or something?"

"No, I'm good. Tell me what you wanted to tell me at HQ."

"Okay. But first, do you want water or some juice?" Danny asked and was already on his way to the fridge.

"Water's good," Steve called after him.

"Okay, here you go." Danny gave him the water bottle and sat down in one of the armchairs. "Gracie loves you. Really loves you. Like 'you're-her-favorite-uncle-loves-you'. Do you understand that?"

"Yea—h," Steve slowly answered and wasn't sure where this was going.

"I don't want you to be with her like you are with me. Cold and distant."

"What? I'm not… I mean…"

"Yes, you are. You are worse than when I met you. I get it, in your mind your father and your friend had just been killed—"

"What do you know about Freddie?"

"Everything you told me about him," Danny told him. "I know how he died saving your life. I'm sure Catherine told you that you got him back to his family?"

"Yeah, she did," Steve softly answered.

"Listen, Steve, I know this is really hard for you. But being back on the island, meeting all of us, and doing your job with Five-0 made a different person out of you. I can't see that kind, gentle person right now. You are hiding behind your SEAL personality, and I can completely understand that. I'm not telling you this to hurt you or anything, but you can't be like this with my daughter."

"Like this?"

"You know what I mean. Grace only knows that you got hurt, but she has no idea that you can't remember us. Be nice to her."

"Of course I'll be nice. What do you think I'll do to her?" Steve said and felt anger welling up in him. _What did Williams think he would do to his daughter?_ "If you don't want me to meet her, just say it. I don't remember her anyway, so…"

"I want you to meet her. She's a big part of your life, Steven. You love her, and she loves you. You have to meet her."

Steve only looked at Williams, feeling his anger disappearing. There was a father who was worried for his daughter; that she had to learn that her favorite uncle didn't know her anymore. A man who was worried for his daughter and for his best friend.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I'm sorry I can't remember any of you. I wish I could," Steve said and hung his head. He felt like he had let the people down who cared so much for him. He was really trying to remember them, or to recover any feelings for them, but he simply couldn't.

"It's okay, Steve. Whatever happens, please know, we will be here for you. Whatever you will decide, or if your memory comes back or not, we will still be your friends if you'll give us a chance."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. You look beat, maybe you should lie down? I could tell Chin to come by in the morning."

"Yeah, okay, sounds like a plan." Steve had to admit, he was drained, not just physically, but more so emotionally.

A few minutes later Steve was fast asleep on the bed after letting Danny out and making his way upstairs.

H50 – H50 – H50

* * *

Dear readers, you can probably guess my two betas are still not very happy with me, so they forced me to keep writing until Steve is better. I keep telling them it won't happen, but will they believe me? No, of course not. Guess as long as they are not seeing my reasoning, or Steve is better, whatever comes first, you will have more chapters to read.

Sam

_Readers, you can thank us later._

_Cokie_

This beta has been off the planet for a few days. She ran off as Steve couldn't be fixed! Now back to discover that there is now hope for recovery…..if doesn't happen, this beta may well disappear to her other planet again where she has a Steve clone tucked away…..a Steve clone in perfect health!

Sherry57


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, you guys really blew me away. Thank you all so much. I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story.**

* * *

**All Clear – Chapter 03**

_**Steve McGarrett's bedroom – 0330 hours**_

Steve couldn't sleep and had lain awake for almost two hours now. When Cath had come home shortly after eight he had still been asleep after his talk with Williams. Catherine had let him be for another half hour while she heated up the leftovers from the day before.

When he had finally woken he still had a headache and was not really hungry. But he tried to eat at least a little bit of the chicken teriyaki Cath had made the day before. It had not only tasted great but it had also helped with the headache.

They had spent the rest of the evening on the couch watching some mindless movie and had gone to bed shortly after midnight. But Steve had woken up not even an hour later, feeling sick and cold. Throwing up took care of the nausea and a warm blanket he was still wrapped in, helped with the cold. He would have preferred to snuggle close to Cath, but she had been dead to the world after falling asleep, and he didn't have the heart to wake her just because he felt miserable.

"Steve?" Came the mumbled question from a sleepy Catherine. "You okay?"

"Fine. Go back to sleep," Steve whispered and hoped she wouldn't fully wake. She had to leave early and he didn't want to interrupt her sleep.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

It was obviously too late to hope she would go back to sleep as she sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. Steve groaned and put his arm over his eyes.

"Sorry," Cath apologized for the sudden light. "What's with the blanket? Steve, do you feel okay?"

"Uh huh. I was a little cold. I'll be okay," Steve tried to reassure her. "I just couldn't sleep."

"Have you been sick?"

"Hmm." Steve gave up long ago trying to hide how he felt. She always saw right through him anyway. "I'm sure it wasn't your chicken."

"Are you still nauseous? You could take the meds Dr. Kiley gave you for the nausea," Cath suggested.

"No, that's okay, I feel better." Steve thought for a moment and then he sat up and moved back against the headrest, letting the blanket fall back to his waist. "Danny was here this afternoon, and we talked about a few things."

"This is a first."

"What?"

"You said Danny, not Williams. You normally refer to him as Williams," Cath told him with a smile.

"Yeah, well, he complained about that. Can you believe it, that man complained about how I think about him? Anyway, he said a few things that made me think," Steve told his friend and paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to address his question. "Am I cold and distant?" He finally asked her.

"Not to me, no."

"But to the others?"

"Yeah." She hesitated, and then continued what needed to be said. "Yes, you are. You are different to me too, but not cold… or distant… just not… we're not on the same level as before you got injured," Cath answered and sat up. "Listen, Steve. None of this is your fault."

"Why can't I remember?" Steve softly asked. "Dr. Anson said it's unusual to forget such a timeframe like I did. Why can't I remember anything after boarding the plane, Catherine?"

"I don't know. But you will get your memory back."

"You keep saying that," he remarked, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because it would be such a shame if you didn't. You made some wonderful friends in the last three years; did some incredibly good things. Well, there were some bad times as well, but the good far outweighs that. AND," she added with a grin, "we became a lot closer in the last few years, and I want you back."

"Well, that seems like a good reason," Steve grinned at Catherine's logic why he should remember. "Guess then I just have to remember."

"Yeah. Now, shut up and get down here."

That was an order Steve had no problem following.

H50 – H50 – H50

The morning had begun with a migraine as it had the last days since he had been home. Cath had left at 0630 and Steve went back to sleep for another few hours. He now sat on the lanai in a recliner, watching the waves and waited for Williams to come and bring his daughter.

Thirty minutes later, when he was just about to nod off again, he heard the Camaro. Steve wasn't sure if he should go inside, or simply wait out here. Considering that he felt more comfortable in the open, he simply sat up and waited.

Steve couldn't help but smile at seeing Grace coming around the house with her dad. He had looked at pictures of her and Catherine had told him all there was to know about little Gracie the first week he was home while he spend most of his days in bed. Williams then later had filled in the rest, so now he was pretty well informed about Grace. But still he felt a bit apprehensive of meeting her.

"Uncle Steve," Grace called out as soon as she laid eyes on her favorite uncle.

"Gracie, hey." Steve smiled at the enthusiastic child and was a bit surprised to find himself in a bear hug from Grace. "Oh, hey, thank you," Steve stammered after she let go of him.

"Danno said you got injured, and that I need to be careful not to hurt you, but a hug didn't hurt you, did it Uncle Steve? I brought you a present, a get well present, well I would have brought it anyway, it's tea, you like tea, Mommy said it's the best tea in the world, I'm sure you will feel better when you drink the tea, but not with milk, that is disgusting, mommy said they drink it like that, but urg it's horrible."

Steve only watched in amusement as Grace talked without even breathing in between sentences, and how her hands flew around like windmills.

"Thank you, Grace," Steve got in when Grace finally made a little pause in her rambling. "I'm sure this tea will be great. And I don't like it with milk either." Steve winked at her conspiratorially. "So, what did you see on your vacation? Have you been to London?"

"Yes, and it was really cool."

"Oh, tell me all about it."

Steve listened to the child ramble on about her vacation in England and how they had visited other relatives in the countryside. "And then we went to the beaches in Cornwall. It is beautiful, Uncle Steve, but totally different than here. And the water was really cold, but people were still swimming in it. But I didn't go in."

"Well, the water isn't as warm as here, but you could have gone swimming. You're a good swimmer."

Catherine had told him that he had taken Grace out a few times to the deep water and that she had no problem swimming even when the waves were a bit higher.

"Can we go swimming today, Uncle Steve?"

"Ah, no, Gracie, not today. I can't swim alone."

"You're not alone, I'm with you," Grace told him.

"How about we ask your dad if he would drive us to have some lunch and then shave ice, and after that we go to the beach? Maybe Danno will even go into the water with us. But we'll see about that a bit later. Okay?"

"YES! Danno, please can you drive us to Kamekona? And to the beach?"

"Yeah, Danno, it's Saturday, let's go to the beach." Steve teased Williams, fully knowing that the man hated the beach.

"Fine. Grace, go grab your beach bag from the guest room," Danny told his daughter.

"Your daughter has a beach bag in my guest room?" Steve asked bewildered as he stood up and had to grab for Williams as a head rush threatened to take him back down onto the recliner.

"Whoa, you okay?"

"Yeah, just stood up too quickly. I'm good," Steve said and straightened up; the dizziness was receding and his vision cleared. "Sorry, it happens sometimes. That's why I can't drive or swim alone," Steve explained to Williams.

"You sure you're up to a day at the beach?"

"No, not a day, but a few hours will be fine. I need to get my shades, be right back."

Ten minutes later they were on their way to the beach. Two very happy people were chatting away in the car, and one slightly grumpy driver who pretended not to have fun going to the beach with the two people who were most important to him.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve sat in the sand, sun glasses firmly in place, but he still squinted at the way too bright light. He watched Danny and Grace digging in the sand, building a sand castle. He had helped for a bit, but when he got dizzy and felt a headache coming, he sat back and resorted to watching them.

The worst of the headache had passed, but the sunlight was getting to him. Steve lay back and pulled the ball cap over his eyes, effectively shutting out the light. They had had a great afternoon; first they went for lunch and later for shave ice, and then spent hours on the beach, talking, playing and even taking a short dip in the water. Steve now felt tired and a bit dizzy. He thought a few minutes of lying down would take care of the dizziness, but before he even knew it he had dozed off.

When Steve opened his eyes again he was in the shade thanks to a makeshift sunscreen out of a large towel and two branches stuck in the sand.

"Did you have a nice nap, Uncle Steve?"

"Yes, thank you," Steve answered and slowly sat up. "Did you build that, Gracie?" He asked and motioned to the towel.

"Danno helped. He said we couldn't let the sun cook your brain."

"Oh, how nice of him," Steve grinned at Williams. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. You feel better?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. So, did you guys finish the castle?"

"Yes, but a huge wave came and totally destroyed it. You should have seen that, Uncle Steve. That was really cool," Grace told him enthusiastically.

"I can imagine it was."

"Uncle Steve?"

"Yes, Gracie."

"Danno said you can't remember me."

Steve had wondered when that question would come up, and now that it did, he still didn't know how to answer.

"Uncle Steve, that's okay. I love you still the same," Grace told him while wrapping her arm around his back to give him a one-handed hug. She laid her head on his shoulder and continued, "And when you know me again, you will love me too."

"I already do," Steve said and actually meant it. Grace was the first he felt some kind of connection to. He still couldn't remember doing anything together, but he felt close to her. Seeing the smile on the little girls face at his words, he knew she would be someone he would truly miss if he chose to leave Hawaii.

Steve looked at Danny and seeing the smile on his face, he knew that his behavior with Danny's daughter found his approval. It seemed that he wasn't so bad with children after all.

H50 – H50 – H50

It had been six weeks since Thomas Amuku had almost killed Steve with a blow to the head. Amuku was now awaiting trial for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and attempted murder. Not even to mention the drug charges. If he was found guilty it was unlikely that he would ever come out of prison again since this was his third strike.

Danny thought it was only fair that he spend his life behind bars, because as far as he was concerned, that man had destroyed not just one life, but many.

Williams looked at his partner, currently sitting in his office for the first time since the attack. He knew that Steve still couldn't remember any of them, but that he made a valiant effort to try to fit in. He had agreed to come to work on a part time basis. Sure, he was only cleared for desk duty, they were more than happy to have him in the office for a few hours than none at all.

Steve had told him, even though he had agreed to come to the office, it didn't mean he had decided to stay. It only meant he wanted to see if he was even cut out to do this job. No matter how often Danny and the rest of the team, or Denning or anyone he had encountered had told him that he had done a great job as leader of Five-0, Steve was still very skeptical of him doing police work.

Danny continued to watch Steve, thinking about how he had teased him mercilessly over the years reminding Steve that he wasn't a cop. He now feared that subconsciously that had festered in Steve's mind and he believed it. Which was ridiculous. At least that was what Danny had tried to tell his friend every chance he had gotten in the last few weeks.

Danny had figured out why Steve had been so reserved when they had been together. The moron hadn't told him that his fast and loud talking had given him a headache. Literally. Stupid moron was what Danny had called him when he had found out why Steve had avoided him in the beginning.

After that they had spent more time together, and Danny had tried to keep his voice down and his flying hands to a minimum. It had actually worked; Steve had opened up to him a little bit, and had started to listen to him. Well, as far as stubborn Steve was able to listen to anybody who was not his girlfriend.

Now they had their leader back, maybe only temporarily, but Danny was adamant to show him that he was needed and wanted here.

Watching his friend squinting at the screen of his laptop, he thought it was time to intervene.

"Hey, Steve, what do you think about coffee and malasadas? On me," Danny asked as he entered his partner's office.

"Huh?"

"Coffee, malasadas, I'm buying. Come on; let's get out of here for half an hour."

"Oh, okay, yeah, that's a good idea." Steve shut down the computer and got up from his chair.

Danny watched him like a hawk, but he hadn't detected any wobbliness or unsteadiness in the last few days. It seemed that Steve had overcome the dizzy spells and nausea attacks. Danny hadn't asked about the migraines, but thought he had seen a new prescription for the aerosol pain medication Steve used for them. So Danny was pretty sure they were still plaguing his friend on occasion.

They were on their way to the Camaro when Steve suddenly stopped and fell behind, a bewildered look on his face.

"Steve?" Danny called out and went back to his friend who stood in the middle of the walkway seemingly miles away. "Steve? Hey, what's the matter?"

"This is wrong."

"What? What are you talking about?" Danny looked at his partner, waiting for him to explain.

"You never drive your car, I'm the driver," Steve said matter-of-fact and held out his hand for the key.

"What? No, no, this is _**my**_ car, I'm driving. You only drive _**your**_ car, that blue monster you own."

"Nope, I'm always driving, and you are always complaining about it," Steve said with certainty.

"Are you sure about that?" Danny asked and couldn't keep in the grin any longer.

"Yes. Gimme the key," Steve said with a shiteatin' grin.

Danny had never been so happy to hand over the keys to his car. "Wait a minute, are you even cleared to drive?" Danny tried his last chance to keep his car safe.

"Yep, two days ago. Now, hand over the key, Danno."

They made their way to the car, and Danny watched his friend slide the seat back to accommodate his long legs and then slip into the driver's seat like he had never left that position. He heard him sigh and knew this was not just a feeling but a memory that he had recovered.

"Steve, the rest will also come back."

"Maybe."

It was the first time that Steve had not rebutted any notion of him recovering his memory. In Danny's eyes that was a huge win.

H50 – H50 – H50

_**Liliha Bakery, 515 N. Kuakini St.**_

"These are really great, Danny. You sure you don't want another one?" Steve asked as he took yet another bite out of the cocoa puff they had ordered with their coffee.

"No, that's fine, you just eat them," Danny said with a grin. "You do know that you never eat this stuff, right?"

"Oh, but I do eat them, just not every day, like some other people I know," Steve answered and grabbed the last of the sweet treats.

"Uh huh."

"Wha' yu mea' 'uh huh'?"

"Steve, it's not polite to speak with your mouth full," Danny chided and had to laugh at seeing his friend enjoying such simple things of life.

"Yeah, yeah. How is Grace?" Steve asked between sips of his too hot coffee.

"Great, she's great. Actually she begged me to ask you something."

"Why doesn't she ask herself?" Steve wondered.

"She doesn't want to embarrass you."

"What?"

"Before you got injured you agreed to, well agree is the wrong word, Grace talked you into it is more like it," Danny said with a grin thinking about his daughter conning his partner into agreeing to her plans. "You agreed to come to her 'show and tell' at school."

"What?"

"She knows that you don't remember it, and that's why she doesn't want to remind you of the promise," Danny explained. "Hey, what's with the face?" Danny looked at his friend's frowning face.

"I just wonder if this is another one of those promises," Steve said and used air quotes to illustrate the promise.

"What do you mean 'those promises'?"

"Well, ever since I began to feel better and it was clear that I would be okay, everyone is trying to get a 'promise' out of me. Things I _**allegedly**_ promised and forgot about. Like you trying to tell me I invited you all to a big cook out, and Cath who I 'promised' to go dancing with… and I damn well _**know**_ I didn't promise that, or Chin who I 'promised' a weapons demonstration at the SEAL training center, the list goes on," Steve explained. "So excuse me if I'm a bit leery of people reminding me of any past promises I supposedly made."

"Oh." Danny had warned his friends that it wouldn't be nice to try such things, but it had all been in good fun. Now he felt bad that Steve thought they were using his memory loss to gain something from it.

"Danny! I'm kidding. I know what you guys did. Don't worry, it's fine. So, did I really promise Grace to go to her school?"

"Yeah, we both did. You promised to talk about the Naval Academy, tell them how important good grades are, and stuff like that."

"Oh, I'm sure that is what they want to hear, me talking about good grades," Steve mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. So, when will that happen? And do I have to come in uniform?"

"This Friday. And Grace said it would be totally cool if you came in uniform, but not in the boring khaki one, her words, not mine."

"Boring khaki? What? She wants me in dress blues?"

"No."

"In camo?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

"Grace said you would look SO cool in white," Danny told his friend with laughter in his voice.

"When did she see me in white?"

"She didn't. Only in a picture, but that's what she told her teacher you would wear."

"Fine. But only the summer whites. No formal dress whites," Steve told Danny.

"I'm sure she will love it. Thank you for doing that."

"Yeah sure. You guys want to meet for dinner later?"

"You're buying?" Danny wanted to know.

"Yeah, I'm buying. How about Friday 2000 hours at Sidestreet. You, me, Grace and Catherine."

"Can't you just say eight p.m. like every normal human being?" Danny teased him about his constant use of military time lately.

"You have any idea how many million people use the 24 time table and not the a.m./p.m. version? A lot more than you think, Danno. Not just the military, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah, save that speech for the 'show and tell'."

"Very funny."

"Come on, drink up, we need to go back to work." Danny motioned to Steve's still half full cup of coffee.

"Yeah, okay."

H50 – H50 – H50

* * *

**_As you probably figured out my betas are still not happy. Yeah, yeah, guys, I get that you want Steve back. Heard you the first hundred times yelling at me._**

**_So, since I still don't see Steve coming back it seems we need to keep going and simply hope for the best._**

**_Where did my nice one-shot disappear to? Sigh._**


	4. Chapter 4

I like to thank all of you again for making this little story such a great experience for me. I never would have thought it would evoke such emotions in all of you. Thank you for all your thoughts and ideas. I really love how you feel for Steve and how much you all wish for him to get his memory back.

Will it happen in this chapter? Will it happen at all? Will someone (you know who I'm talking about) finally find the right arguments to convince me to make Steve all better?

I have to especially thank Cokie for her input, she makes a darn good case for Steve. I can tell you she's coming up with really good reasons for getting the old Steve back. You will later have the pleasure of reading her work. And I can tell you, she almost made me cry.

We tried something new here. Steve (me) and the rest of the bunch (her) have a conversation, and really, she is darn good. Almost made me run out of arguments. LOL But, that is not for today, but later. So, as you now know this is not the last chapter. I hope that is in your interest.

Thanks again for reading. I hope you will enjoy where I'm taking this story. And please keep the reviews coming, I really take a lot out of them. There wouldn't be this kind of story without your input.

* * *

**All Clear – Chapter 04**

Two more weeks passed without Steve recovering any other memories. His friends slowly started to believe him when he said that he wouldn't get his memory back.

Five-0 had fallen into a routine with Steve mostly staying in the office; only on occasion did he get out. He only went out with Danny when it was fairly certain they would not end up in any kind of 'action'. His doctor had warned him that even though he was making progress the skull fracture was still not completely healed. And therefore he was still on restricted duty.

Even after two months he still suffered from the attack. At least the migraines had stopped a few days ago, and it had been weeks since he had felt nauseous or dizzy. He still had one or the other headache, but nothing that required any kind of medication.

Steve sat in his office, which he now occupied full time, and looked over at Danny. He smiled when he saw him chatting away on the phone with what he knew was Danny's daughter. Steve had spent more time with Grace and they had been to the museum, the aquarium, the Missouri and they had been hiking. Very much to Danny's dismay as Steve had soon learned. His partner hated being out in nature.

Steve had taken father and daughter to see the petroglyphs, only to learn that he had done that with Danny before and it had ended in disaster and a dead body on the cliffs. But they also learned that day that Grace would always chose hiking with her Uncle Steve over any pedi-something.

During his days in the office, when they were not working on a current case, Steve went through old cases and tried to learn everything there was about Five-0. He was by far not done with it, but already knew that they had done a darn good job so far.

Steve looked at his watch and decided to call it quits for today. He wanted to check out an address he found in the files of their current case, but since he couldn't go alone he needed to wait for Danny to finish his call.

The case they were working on at the moment was nothing spectacular, a simple robbery. But the victim had been an old friend of the Governor, so Five-0 had been asked to look into it and support HPD in their effort. At least as long as nothing more important came along.

When Steve read the HPD report he had remembered one of the old cases he had read up on just the day before, and found that one of the stolen goods had been stolen before. The painting had been put up for auction back then and was now stolen again from the new owner.

Steve thought it rather odd that one painting would be stolen twice in such a short time. He thought the robbery might actually be about the painting, not just now but also back then. In the file it was indicated that the painting had only been part of a bigger selection two years ago. But now it had been one of only two articles stolen.

Two years ago they had discovered all the stolen goods in a warehouse down by the harbor, and as Steve had found out after calling the manager of the company renting out the warehouses, that same warehouse had just been rented a few days ago.

Steve didn't really believe that anyone would be stupid enough to almost reenact the robbery from two years ago, down to using the same warehouse. But he had seen stranger things happen and thought it was worth checking out.

He powered down his computer when he saw Danny ending his call and stood up to join the detective in his office.

"Hey, Danny, are you ready to leave? I'd like to check something out."

"Don't tell me you want to go down to the harbor and take a look at the warehouse?" Danny asked.

"Eh…well, I think we don't have anything to lose by taking a look," Steve defended his idea.

"No, but you don't really believe that we will find anything down there, do you?"

"No, probably not. But looking can't hurt. Don't you think it's too much of a coincidence that the same painting was stolen twice? In almost the same manner?"

"Yeah, I'll give you that. But really, Steven, in the same warehouse? That is ridiculous."

"That might be, but I still want to check it out. If you don't want to come, I can go alone." Steve knew he had Danny with that argument. Danny would never let him go without back-up.

"We don't even have a warrant. And before you ask, no judge will issue one just because you have a hunch, if I even dare call it that," Danny informed him.

"I just want to take a look at the premises; I don't plan to go _**into**_ the warehouse."

"Yeah right. I know you, Steven. You will not just take a look from outside," Danny said.

"Now, are you coming or not?" Steve asked impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah, but I'm telling you this is a waste of time."

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve looked at his friend sitting in the passenger seat throwing glances his way since they had left HQ. "What?" Steve finally asked.

"What 'what'?"

"Why are you looking at me like that, Danny? Something on your mind?" Steve glanced at the detective and wondered about his strange behavior.

"Well, if you ask me like that, yeah, something's on my mind," Danny began. "You had a visitor today."

"So?"

"From the Navy."

"That is a very astute observation, Detective. And here I was thinking you didn't know the difference," Steve said.

"I'm serious, Steven, what did he want?"

Steve took a moment before he answered, "He brought some papers."

"What papers?"

"Administration and insurance stuff, just some papers I have to read." Steve's answer was rather evasive.

"Is this about your medical bills? I thought you were covered by Five-0's insurance?" Danny wanted to know.

"What? Yes, I am. No, it was just… stuff, you know."

"Are you going back to active duty?" Danny bluntly asked.

"What? No. I mean… maybe. I really don't know, Danny."

"When were you going to tell us?" Danny asked and Steve could hear his anger mounting.

"There is nothing to tell, Danny. I haven't decided anything. I really don't know what to do."

"I thought you liked working with us? Why do you want to go back?" Danny still didn't want to let that go.

"Danny, I just told you I don't know if I'm going back. I _**really**_ don't," Steve said and paused for a moment, thinking that this was really not the time or the place to have this kind of conversation. "I don't have any memory of what I have done in the last three years. Can't you understand that? All the experiences you had with me? They don't exist for me."

"I get that," Danny almost yelled. At least it sounded rather loud in the confines of the car. "But your life is here now, Steven, when will you start to accept that?"

"How can my life be here when I remember nothing of it?" Steve simply asked. "I remember my life back in the Navy. And I was _**happy**_ there. I _**loved **_my job. I worked damn hard to get to do that job, and now I'm suddenly sitting behind a desk stuck with a job I know _**nothing**_ about," Steve again paused and quietly continued. "I just want to be happy again."

"And going back to being a SEAL would make you happy?" Danny reluctantly asked.

"I don't know. Somehow it doesn't feel right to go back… or to stay here," Steve finally admitted. "I feel like I don't belong anywhere, you know? But I promise I will talk to you before I sign any papers, or resign from Five-0."

"Good," Danny nodded at his partner, obviously satisfied with that answer. At least for the time being. "So, tell me again why are we going down to the harbor?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, Steven, seriously. Because frankly, I don't see any connection between the robbery two years ago and the one now. Yes, the same painting was stolen, but that was bound to happen when it hung in an art gallery that was robbed."

"Danny, dozens of paintings were there, but why did they steal this one and the bronze sculpture?"

"Maybe they liked it. According to the experts from HPD the robbery was not a very elegant one; it looks pretty much like an amateur job," Danny explained what he had learned from the larceny department.

"I think it was a paid job, just like last time. And our thieves are no geniuses; that's for sure. It might be a long shot, but maybe we will get lucky, you never know," Steve told Danny.

H50 – H50 – H50

Catherine Rollins wasn't sure what to think of the visitor she just made a cup of coffee for. Captain Don Draper came by unannounced and was now sitting on their couch waiting for Steve. Cath filled the cup with fresh coffee and walked back into their living room.

"Captain, here you go. Can I get you anything else?"

"No, thank you. I'm sorry I stopped by like this, but I need to talk to Commander McGarrett, and I though it be better in person," Draper said and took a sip from his coffee.

"Can you tell me what about?"

"I'd prefer to talk to McGarrett first," the captain told Catherine.

"Is this about him going back to active duty?"

"You know about that?" Draper seemed surprised.

"I know that Steve is thinking about it," Catherine told Captain Draper in the hope he might reveal a little more. "We talked about all his options."

"I have a concrete offer on the table for him. Until now it was all just talk about the possibility for him to come back. But I'm here to offer him a post overseeing team operations. It would include a promotion to full commander."

"A promotion?"

"He was close to promotion when he left for the reserves. I think it's not just for his services but also to give him a little push to take the job."

Cath had to smile at that. They obviously didn't know her man. Steve was not in the Navy to get to the top as fast as possible, he was not in it for the career. Getting a promotion would not be an argument for him to take the job or leave it. "I'm sure Steve will think about this opportunity. But honestly, I don't know if he will take it or not."

"I think he's not sure himself at the moment," Captain Draper said. "I have talked to him a few times and have the feeling he is warming up to the idea of staying in Hawaii. I'm sure that your retirement from the Navy will play a factor in that," he said without any accusation in it.

Catherine didn't know what to say to that. She hadn't even talked to Steve about that yet, sure they had been living together for quite some time now, since long before Steve had been injured, but she wasn't sure she would be a factor in his decision. "I don't know about that," she honestly said.

"Don't underestimate your influence. I had the feeling you were the only one he had has a real connection to. And it's understandable if you think about it," Draper continued. "He only has memories about his life before he returned to Hawaii, for him it's like he met all these other people just two months ago. You are the only one he has known for many years. He trusts you."

Catherine smiled at Draper, "Yes, he does. Captain, do you want me to try calling Steve again and ask when he will be here?"

"Nah, I'll come by again another time. Please give him the documents and tell him to give me a call please," Draper said while standing up.

"Of course," Cath took the sealed envelope and led the captain to the door.

"Thank you. I hope I didn't keep you from anything important?"

"No, that's fine, Captain. I will tell Steve to give you a call" Cath told him while letting him out the door.

H50 – H50 – H50

**Honolulu Harbor Piers 31 – 35**

"What are you doing?"

"Getting my vest," Steve answered as he opened the trunk of the Camaro.

"I thought you only wanted to take a look from a safe distance? Like from _**outside**_," Danny said sarcastically, but also put on his vest.

"Yeah. But safety first, Danny." Steve grinned at his partner.

"Uh huh. But remember, you are only cleared for desk duty, Steve. You shouldn't be here if there was the chance of you getting involved in any kind of action."

"Danny, what are the chances that anything will happen?"

"With you? High, my friend, very high," Danny answered with a smile.

"Very funny." Steve had to admit that he liked to banter with Danny. Sometimes he still thought Williams went too far with his ranting, and he had called him on it a few times. When he had strongly objected the first time, Danny had actually been speechless. It was obvious that he was not used to Steve calling him on his shit.

"Are you ready?" Danny asked and looked his friend up and down.

"Whenever you are. Lead the way," Steve called out and motioned for Danny to take the lead.

"What do you mean 'lead the way'? This was your idea—"

"You've been here before; okay, we've both been here before, but you are the one who should remember the layout. So, it makes sense for you to take the lead," Steve explained and wondered why he even had to explain that.

"That was two years ago. You honestly want me to remember a warehouse I saw once for a few minutes?" Danny grumbled and it was obvious that he thought his partner was out of his mind.

"Are you saying you don't?"

Danny only threw his hands in the air and shook his head. Very much to Steve's amusement, who ever since not getting a headache from his partner's antics anymore, liked to rile him up like that.

The two made their way to the front of the three-story warehouse. It was one of the few warehouses that were built during WWII and were still in use. It was built directly on the edge of the pier, something that was not done these days. It was also built to withstand the ravages of time, made out of red bricks with old, high windows.

"I read in the report that this building* is listed in the historic register. A lot of money went into its preservation."

"That's interesting, Steven," Danny absentmindedly said.

"You're not even listening," Steve scolded. "What?" Steve asked when Danny had stopped and Steve bumped into his partner.

"Door's open." Danny motioned to the door and for Steve to stay behind.

Steve only snorted at his partner's protectiveness, but obediently stayed behind him. He knew that he was neither cleared for duty nor in any shape to be involved in any 'action' as Danny called it. He would risk serious consequences if he received a blow to the head while his skull fracture was still not completely healed.

"Stay here," Danny said and moved closer to the door, gun drawn.

"You've got to be kidding me," Steve muttered and stayed close to his partner. It was one thing to stay behind his partner and not storm into the warehouse upfront, but a totally different thing to let Danny go in alone. That was not going to happen.

"What did I just say?" Danny turned and glared at Steve.

"Get a move on, Williams," Steve demanded and gave Danny a nudge to go on.

Danny gave the door a little push and they cautiously entered the small lobby. The careful restoration of the building had also found its way to the interior. The walls were beautifully decorated with Hawaiian themes. Old black and white pictures from the islands of 60 years ago hung framed on the walls.

Three doors lead into the inner part of the warehouse and to the right was the wide staircase leading to the upper floors.

Steve motioned to the stairs, "I'm going upstairs, you look down here?" Steve asked, already knowing the answer to that.

"Dream on," Danny said and hurried to get in front of Steve.

Again shaking his head at his partner, Steve followed Danny up the rest of the stairs. At the top they stopped again and listened for any noises. "Hear anything?" Steve whispered.

"Shhhh." Danny had his ear against the door and shook his head at Steve's question.

They carefully opened the door and stepped into another small lobby, this time it was enclosed with glass walls that let them see into the two offices to the left and the main hall of the warehouse.

Steve and Danny could see stacks of boxes of different shapes and sizes. The offices were both empty though. They moved into the main hall and called out, "Hello? Anyone here?"

Steve motioned for Danny to go left while he went to the right. He saw Danny hesitate for a moment but then he moved to explore the left side of the warehouse.

Steve made his way to the right and looked in every corner and behind every stack of boxes in this maze. Steve listened for any sounds, but could only hear Danny making his way toward the other end of the main hall. He couldn't see him but could clearly hear Danny. Steve suddenly stopped when he heard a scraping sound to his right. He swung around only to be confronted with nothing but thin air in front of him. But he had been sure he heard something, so he slowly moved closer to the next stack of boxes towering over him.

But a moment later it was clear that no one was there lurking in the shadows, waiting to jump out. Steve could still hear the strange noises, that varied in intensity and moved away from him. He moved around the last stack of cargo and stood in front of a high, narrow shelf with dozens of cans filled with all kinds of paint.

The noise was still there, and it sounded like someone was scraping along the boxes. Steve turned and saw something flying at his head before he stumbled back with a surprised shriek dying on his lips.

Steve lost his balance when he stumbled and fell against the shelf, knocking it over in the process. The paint cans crashed to the floor, some of them springing open and spilling their contents all over the floor, the shelf and, of course Steve.

The Five-0 leader lay dazed among the colorful mess and glared at the green-eyed cat sitting on the overturned rack glaring right back at him.

"Steve!" His partner called out, alarmed by the loud crashing sound and stormed around the stack of boxes only to stop short and look at him in bewilderment. "What the…"

Steve now also glared at his partner, but had to admit that he was probably a pretty funny sight amongst all the cans of paint.

He felt a bit lightheaded from the paint fumes and thought he should get up, but that was easier said than done. Everything was slippery with paint and he was also covered not only in paint but also buried under a few of the cans and shelf boards that had come loose when the rack fell.

"Are you hurt?" Danny asked but didn't step closer and stayed away from the paint covered floor around Steve.

"Don't think so," Steve muttered. He was sure he hadn't hit his head, but his vision was graying. It was time to get away from the paint. Who knew what kind of chemicals were in that stuff. It really smelled awful and Steve wondered if one could pass out from it.

"Steve! What are you doing? Get up!"

"What?" Steve had obviously just sat there and not done anything to actually get up from his place on the floor. He looked up at his partner, who was wavering in and out in a very strange and kind of funny way. _What the heck was in those paint cans?_ Steve wondered and had to grin at the contoured figure of Danny. It now occurred to him that the paint was also rather strange, it was really thin and not paint-like at all. And it smelled kind of sweet.

Steve looked at his hand, covered in red, blue and yellow, but couldn't bring it into focus. "Danny?" Something was seriously wrong; Steve thought before he fell back and stared at the ceiling wondering how he landed himself in this mess.

Suddenly Williams' face was in front of him, and Steve thought that he would be pissed that his new shoes would be ruined by the paint. "Steve? Come on, you need to get up," Steve heard him say, but he was barely able to keep his eyes open at this point.

"Explosive, Danny."

"What?" Danny asked as he hauled his partner to his feet.

"Ether, air and metal, not good," Steve mumbled and leaned heavily on Williams as he slung his arm over his shoulder.

"In the paint?" Danny panted out as his partner grew heavier with every step they took away from the end of the warehouse.

"Not… paint… bomb components…" Steve stumbled along, but wasn't sure he'd make it outside. "Call fire department, or… Danny… sick," Steve said and fell to his knees, taking Danny down with him.

He felt himself being held up while he lost not just today's lunch but everything he ate in the last week. When he was done, Steve was totally spent but was hauled back to his feet and the partners stumbled down the stairs.

Steve had no idea how they made it, but suddenly he was breathing in fresh air, and was lowered to the ground behind the Camaro. "Stay put," Danny demanded and Steve could hear him on the phone calling for help.

Next he knew, Danny was pulling him out of his soiled clothes. At first he had fought him, but then he realized that his clothes were still covered in the contaminated paint. The fumes were still making him dizzy and disoriented, so they had to go.

Soon Steve was only glad in his tee shirt and boxer briefs. Not the attire he thought he would end up in while taking a look at the warehouse in the hope to find a stolen painting.

"Only you!"

"What?" Steve asked and looked at Danny who was pacing in front of him. Waving his hands at him.

"Only you can come looking for a stolen painting and find a terrorist cell or whoever was using all that stuff," Danny called out exasperated.

"It's a gift, Danno." Steve grinned at his partner and watched the fire department stop in front of the warehouse.

"Yeah, some gift." He grinned back. "You okay?"

"Uh huh. Feel a lot better," Steve added. He wasn't dizzy anymore, but didn't dare stand up. He still sat on the ground with his back against the Camaro's back wheel.

"The paramedics need to take a look at you, probably take you to the hospital for blood work, or something."

"I'm fine, Danny. I just breathed in some of the stuff. But I'm good," Steve told the detective.

"That's not gonna fly, Steven. You're not even supposed to be here," Danny reminded him of not being cleared for field work. "You're going."

"Fine."

Steve had to grin at the surprised look his partner gave him after giving in like that. But it couldn't hurt to get checked out, if it made Williams happy.

Three hours later Steve was released from the ER and they were on their way home. Danny had waited for him and while he had gotten his tests, had talked to Denning. Danny had told him that they were still without the painting, but had taken a huge amount of drugs and explosive material off the market. They still needed to take a closer look at all the boxes, but it was already clear that they had stumbled over an elaborate distribution center for drugs and other illegal material. The ether cans only one of them.

"Is this how we normally work?" Steve asked as Danny pulled into Steve's driveway.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it was for sure a lot more interesting than sitting behind the desk all day. I mean, not that there is anything wrong with paperwork, that also has to be done," Steve paused when Danny stared at him wide-eyed. "What?"

"There is nothing wrong with paperwork?" Danny repeated. "You know, I think I'm starting to like this new version of you," he said with a grin.

"Ha, ha. I'm serious here; do we work like that out in the field? I mean… it was… fun," Steve didn't really know how to say how much he had enjoyed the afternoon.

"You think this was fun? There is something seriously wrong with you, my friend."

Steve only smiled and opened the door to get out of the car. "Pick me up in the morning?"

"Yeah; breakfast's on you."

"Okay," Steve nodded and watched his friend drive off.

He made his way up to the house and never even realized that for the first time, he had thought of Danny as his friend.

H50 – H50 – H50

* * *

*Don't go looking for the warehouse on Google/Bing maps, you won't find it. The place is real, but the warehouse is just an ordinary new building. Too boring for my taste. I love old buildings and cemeteries, so if I can't find a historic building when I need one, I make it up.


	5. Chapter 5

As promised, today you have the pleasure (well, we'll see about the pleasure factor) of reading a chapter written by Cokie and me. She chimed in at lunch, and came up with some strong arguments and what I think great dialogue. She really is doing her best to convince me of giving Steve his memory back. :-)

* * *

**All Clear - Chapter 05**

When Steve stepped out of the shower he still felt like he smelled of antiseptics, paint thinner and the strange solution they used at the hospital to rub the paint off him. Some patches of skin were pretty red and itching but he refused using Catherine's body lotion as she had suggested. Smelling like a spring flower wasn't any better than what he smelled like at the moment. At least not according to Steve.

"Come here," Cath said as Steve came out of the bathroom, clad only with a white towel around his waist.

Steve eyed his girlfriend suspiciously, but stepped closer none the less. "What is that?" Steve motioned to the tube Cath held in her hand.

"Aloe vera. It will sooth your skin. And no, it doesn't smell like flowers," Cath added, grinning. "So, where to start?" Cath asked and held the tube ready.

"Uhm," Steve suddenly felt a little shy and grabbed the towel to make sure it didn't get loose.

"What's the matter? What are you doing, Steve?" Catherine looked her friend up and down and wondered why he couldn't stand still. He looked rather uncomfortable and she didn't really like the frown on his face. "Does your head bother you?"

"What? No. Not really... maybe a little... but it's okay," Steve mumbled and sat down on the bed. Hissing under his breath when he did so.

"Are you hurt?" Cath put down the aloe tube and looked at Steve.

"Just a few bruises... really, I'm fine," Steve told her of the bruises on the back of his thigh where he fell into the shelf. He had two deep wide bruises right under his six. He was sure they would be in multicolor in the morning.

"Okay, now show me where you scrubbed your skin off. I don't see any red spots." Cath had looked him up and down but couldn't detect any imperfection. Certainly no raw skin.

"Uhm," Steve again mumbled and slowly loosened the towel to reveal very red looking skin.

"Ouch," Cath exclaimed and looked in sympathy at her friend. "How the hell did you get the paint on _**there**_?"

"I for sure wasn't going to take my underwear off with all those people running around. They all looked at me strangely enough as it was," Steve explained.

"Well, I can understand that," Cath said with a smile imagining Steve covered in paint from head to toe.

"Very funny," Steve grumbled, but couldn't keep the smile out of his voice. "So, are you going to put your aloe to use or what?"

"What did Max say? Apply gently?" Cath said and squeezed a good amount of the gel onto her fingers. "Ready?"

"Yeah... uh, that's cold... ow... you call that gently?"

"Just lie back and relax," Cath answered and pushed him back onto the bed. She applied the gel liberally on the most affected and sensitive area and all the other spots that needed treatment. "All done," she told him when she finished her ministration a couple of minutes later.

"Just for your information, Catherine, now I do smell like a hibiscus. You said it didn't smell flowery," Steve whined.

"Really? Huh, must be my cold," she told him without even blinking.

Steve glared at Cath, but closed his eyes when a wave of pain washed over him. Taking him totally by surprise. The day's events were finally catching up to him. Steve threw his arm over his eyes to block out the suddenly way to bright light. He felt Catherine getting off the bed and just hoped this wouldn't turn into a migraine. He was not even sure if he still had any medication for it.

The room was suddenly bathed in darkness and a few moments later Steve felt the bed dip again. Catherine hadn't spoken a word and he was grateful for her silence. He was sure any noise would only increase the throbbing in his head. He felt the sheet spread over him and then his arm was gently pried away from his eyes and replaced by a lukewarm wet washcloth.

Steve sighed in relief when he realized this wouldn't turn into a full migraine but only a really bad headache. "Thanks, Catherine," Steve whispered and gave in to her gentle ministrations.

"You wanna move and lie down?" Catherine softly asked.

Steve still lay on the bed with his feet planted on the floor. "Not yet," Steve mumbled his answer.

It took a few more minutes for the pain to subside to a level that allowed Steve to rise off the bed and put on a pair of loose fitting boxers and an old tee shirt to sleep in.

"Do you want to take anything for the headache?" Cath asked in a low voice.

"No, I'll be okay. Thank you." The headache was down to a mild throbbing, and Steve knew, no matter if he took anything or not it would not leave for a couple of hours.

Steve snuggled close to Catherine and thought that was something he could really get used to. He of course knew that if he left the islands he would also lose Catherine. Maybe even for good. They had had rough patches before, when they couldn't see each other for months on end, but somehow they always found their way back to each other. Leaving now would be really hard. It was the first time that Steve had a relationship to consider in his decisions. He planned to talk to her in the morning about it.

"Steve?"

"Hmm."

"Captain Draper came by earlier this evening; he brought you some papers to look at. And he wants you to call him."

"He brought papers?" Steve turned on the bedside lamp, squinting when the light instantly increased the pain in his head. He pushed himself up against the headboard and looked at Catherine. "What papers? Did he say what they were about?"

"It's an offer," Cath told him. "He said you had talked to him a few times?"

"Yeah, I did. But we haven't discussed any concrete plans. I have only asked him general questions. You know, like how the reinstatement would even work. Stuff like that," Steve explained what he had been talking about with Draper.

"He was under the impression that you're not sure what you want?" Cath asked and Steve was sure he heard some hope in the question.

"Catherine?" Steve tentatively begun. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Steve, I can't tell you what to do. _**You**_ have to make that decision," she answered evasively.

"That is not what I asked," Steve tiredly said and rubbed his temple. Turning on the light hadn't been a good idea. He groaned when the pain got worse, but pushed down on it and looked at the woman next to him. "Do you want me to stay?"

Catherine hesitated for another moment, but then answered. "Yes. Yes, I want you to stay. Steve, not just because I'm really happy with us right now, but because you loved what you were doing before you got hurt. And I know that you will love it again if you would just give it a chance."

"I feel so lost. This is really new to me. No matter what happened, I always knew what to do; I always knew how to get out of a situation," Steve revealed some of his troubles. "I don't know what to do, Catherine. I know even going back to full duty with the Navy wouldn't be right. I'm out for many years, it's an illusion to think that I could just go back and keep going from where I left. I know that. But still it seems like a way to get at least something back that I know."

"Steve, the Navy would be very happy to have you back, and I'm sure you would do a great job. But is that really what you want?" Catherine had sat up and took her friend's hand, "in all the years since you've been back here in Hawaii you have not mentioned even once that you were thinking about going back. Sure you said that you missed it at times, but I swear, Steve, you never thought about going back. And believe me, you had hard times here before, but even then that thought never came up."

"You really think I was happy working with Five-0?"

"Yes," Cath answered without hesitation. "Yes, you were. You loved your job. You loved the people around you. I don't know how to explain it, Steve, but you were more relaxed and were enjoying life more than before you came back home."

Steve nodded at what she said; it was a lot he had to think about. He had to take a look at what Draper had brought, and at the papers he received this morning. He wondered why he had received two separate offers.

"You should try to get some sleep, Steve. Lie back down, and I'll get you something for your headache," Cath said and was about to get out of bed.

"No, it wouldn't help," Steve told her as he stretched out on the bed. He turned off the light and waited for Cath to snuggle up to him.

"Anything else I can do?" Cath asked as she lay her arm across his chest.

"No, what you're doing right now is good," Steve mumbled and gave in to her gentle strokes across his midsection.

It only took a couple of minutes for him to drift off to sleep. Unfortunately his sleep was far from restful. Steve was restless, with vivid dreams of past events invading his unconscious mind, visions of places and people constantly flashing before him in a never-ending cycle.

His mumbling, groaning, tossing and turning managed to wake up Catherine several times during the night. But he would calm and fall back into a deeper sleep when she soothingly talked to him… until the next bout of nightmares came.

Finally in the early morning hours he settled down and didn't stir until the alarm went off to announce the new day.

H50 - H50 - H50

Steve hadn't slept well, and was barely ready to go to work when Danny came to pick him up. He still had a very annoying headache and not even a strong coffee had helped waking him up. Or made the headache any better. When he had bent down to tie his boots he thought his head would explode. It was probably a good thing that Cath had been in the kitchen and hadn't heard his pitiful groan back then.

"Good morning, Sunshine," Danny greeted him when he opened the door.

"Mornin'," Steve only grumbled.

"Uh, wild night?" Danny asked with a grin but sobered up when he took a look at his friend. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, just didn't sleep too well."

"You're not looking too good; you sure you okay?"

"I'm fine, Danny. Just a headache," Steve told him absentmindedly.

"What are you looking for?" Danny asked.

"My wallet. It's my turn to pay for lunch, and I need my-"

"Steve, I'm sorry," Danny interrupted. "I forgot to give it back to you. Yesterday when I peeled you out of your pants... that sounds wrong, doesn't it? Anyway, I took your stuff out of the pockets. It's all in the car."

"Oh, that's good. Then let's go," Steve said and moved past Danny to leave.

"What's the sudden rush?" Danny wondered out loud, but followed his partner and took a double take when he found Steve heading for the passenger side of the car. But he chose not to comment on it.

The drive to HQ was short and done in silence, which Steve appreciated. He was glad that Danny now had a feeling for when he was not in the mood for what Steve realized was their normal banter. But Danny had developed an acute sense for when Steve was either not able to keep up because his injury was bothering him, or because he was simply not in the mood for it.

Chin was already at the smart table taking a look at the report about their discovery at the warehouse when they arrived. "Good morning. You had quite a bust yesterday," he greeted his two colleagues with a grin.

"Yeah, poor luck," Steve told him. "Chin, can I talk to you in my office?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Chin answered but looked a bit bewildered at Danny who only shrugged, not knowing why their boss wanted to talk to Chin.

Steve looked at Chin and wondered where to start. "Chin, I have a question that might sound a bit strange," Steve said and searched for the right way to ask what he wanted to know.

"Okay. And you think I have the answer for it?"

"Yeah. I read up on old cases, and one of them doesn't make any sense."

"Only one of them?" Chin asked with a smile.

"Well," Steve answered grinning. "A lot of it doesn't make much sense, but this one is special. When you were taken by Victor Hesse, he demanded 10 million dollars. Where did we get the money from?"

"Uh..."

Steve looked around to make sure no one was near his office. "Did I steal that money?" He asked in a low voice.

Chin couldn't quite keep the grin in. "You remember that?"

"Oh God, I did?" Steve exclaimed and plopped down in his chair. "Please tell me I didn't steal $10 million."

"Afraid you did. But you called it 'borrowing'."

Steve only groaned and buried his head in his hands. "I hoped it was just a weird dream," he mumbled into his hands.

"You and Kono went to the station and you then went into the asset locker and took the money."

"Does Danny know about it?" Steve asked after he somewhat recovered.

"Does he know about it? Steve, what kind of question is that? You think he doesn't, and that's why you asked me in here?"

"I didn't see him in my dream. Only you and Kono. Danny was never there. So, I thought... I don't know... how could I steal that money?" Steve called out in distress.

"You mean why you did it?" Chin asked.

"I guess because we needed it to exchange it for you? Wasn't there another option? I mean, I just went and stole the money?" he asked again, still disbelieving the scenario.

"Pretty much, yeah." Chin looked at his friend and wondered how he would react when he recovered the memory of lying to the feds. He'd probably blow a gasket then. That thought actually made him smile.

"What are you smiling about, Chin? This is not funny. This can get me court martialed. Why the hell didn't it? Didn't they find out?"

"Steve, relax. No, they didn't find out that you stole the money. Well, Jameson did, but that didn't really matter. Besides you did it under immunity, so it's okay."

"Well, you're here and well, so I guess it was worth it. But I still can't believe I stole the money," Steve grumbled under his breath.

"You were a really smooth thief as Kono told me," Chin teased his boss.

"Oh, please." Steve shook his head but also had to smile. "So, Danny was involved?"

"He was with me while you and Kono got the money. You didn't want him directly involved. Plausible deniability you called it. Because of Grace. Danny was not very happy with you about it."

"Yeah, I can imagine." Steve again shook his head about what he had just learned. "Guess we should get back before Danny dies of curiosity," Steve said and motioned to their friend who was walking around the smart table.

They made their way out of the office over to their computer table and looked at Danny who gave them a questioning look.

"Danny, what does the report say?" Steve asked and ignored the obvious questions Danny had.

"HPD had sent over a list of inventory. It's quite impressive. Some of the stuff will be traceable to their origin. Lots of prints on the stuff as well, so there will be a few arrests in the near future. There were matches for all prints."

"So, that's great, right?" Steve said.

"Yeah, it is. But that of course won't bring us any closer to our stolen painting. And," Danny paused for dramatic effect. "I was right, the idea of the painting in the warehouse was whack," Danny said with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah. But I'll take all that stuff over a painting any day," Steve answered.

"Really? Including the paint?" Danny couldn't but tease.

"Funny." Thinking about the paint made him realize that he was still a bit uncomfortable from the 'paint removal', even though Cath had used the gel again this morning. Had he not had such a bad headache he was sure that would have ended in a rather fun session. "Listen, Cath is coming by later and I wanted to invite you both to lunch. I need to talk to you about something."

"Good or bad?" Danny wanted to know.

"Neither," Steve said and it was clear that he wouldn't say anymore until lunchtime.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**Jun Bo Chinese Restaurant, 126 Queen Street**_

"Ehm... I wanted to thank you," Steve started to say after they all sat down and had their drinks.

"For what?" Chin wanted to know.

"Last night... I... I remembered a few things... about Jenna... about being in North Korea and how you all came for me and got me out," Steve slowly said. "It's mostly bits and pieces, like short flashes of scenes..." Steve paused to gather his thoughts, then added in a quieter voice, "I remember how Jenna asked me to help her, and then how she was killed." It was obviously hard for Steve to talk about it. He looked around the table and knew he had Chin, Danny and Catherine's full attention. "I just... you were always there, and eh, I want to thank you for that."

"Of course we were always there. We're a team," Danny said for all of them.

Steve looked at his friends and knew he had to tell them about his new memories. "I had pretty violent dreams last night," he said and gauged their reaction. Seeing nothing but understanding, he continued. "Wo Fat was in a lot of those flashes… I saw him questioning me… hitting me and…" Steve involuntarily shuddered at the thought of the cattle prod he remembered, "and other things. But there were also scenes where I was dragging him through the jungle and then flashes of him behind bars… there was a lot that didn't make any sense."

"Well, you have had a few encounters with Wo Fat, and some of them were… of a violent nature," Danny tried to explain.

"I'm not sure all these pieces are really bits of my memory, maybe they are just something I made up after reading about it, you know? Maybe some of it is real, and some I filled with what you told me or what I read in the reports," Steve told them. "It's driving me nuts not knowing what's real and what not," he admitted.

"We could probably tell you if what you remember is fact," Chin provided.

"Maybe," Steve mumbled.

"When you want to talk to us, we're here for you. You know that, right?" Danny asked.

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I know. Dr. Anson said it's unlikely that I will remember every little detail of the last three years, but he said I could expect to recover more _**key-memories**_," Steve told them about his latest session with the psychiatrist.

"I don't remember every little detail about the last three years," Danny said. "I mean, really, who can remember what he did in June two years ago? I can't. Not without looking into my agenda."

"Yeah, that's true, but if you meet a person you met in June two years ago, you will remember that person today. I can't even remember people I met three months ago," Steve countered. "I still don't have any memories about day to day stuff. You know, like having lunch with any of you, or doing any fun stuff. I can only remember a few very intense and mostly violent incidents. And even then, I don't remember the actual event but only what I dream about it."

Seeing that none of his friends had anything to say, he rubbed a hand over his eyes and continued in frustration, "I just wish I could remember you guys, you know, the people that are obviously important to me. I don't care so much about any cases or arrests we made... I just want to _**know**_ the good stuff." He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his palms scrubbing at his tired eyes. "_**Is **_there any good stuff?" he asked from behind his hands. "All that I seem to be able to remember is hatred… and violence." Dropping his hands back to the table, he added, "You keep telling me what good friends we are, but will I ever have good memories? "

"Steve," Catherine reached across the table for his hand, "remembering us the last three years doesn't define you," she reminded him of what she had repeatedly told him.

"I know that," he admitted. "And I understand it, but I also know some people who think I'm kind of broken because I can't remember a lot of stuff. I see looks of pity all the time. But how can that be? I mean, we're only talking about three out of 37 years. If people only define me on the merits of the last three years… well, that actually makes me sad," Steve admitted. "I think I was my own person long before I came back to Hawaii, and meeting you, Danny and Chin, may have helped me loosen up a little, but that would have happened anyway after leaving the strict and controlled environment of the Navy."

"So, what you're saying is you were this pretty cool guy before you met us?"

"You think I'm cool, Danny?" Steve asked, a crooked grin on his face.

"What?" Danny almost yelled and just now realized what he had said. "That's not what I meant and you know it! Steve, I swear you have had good times since you have been back, and I'm sorry that we can't tell you about them and have you remember them."

"Yeah, me too."

"But it seems like you remember small things every day, Brah," Chin added. "Maybe someday soon, everything will click back into place."

"I wish it were that easy," Steve admitted. "I stopped at a juice bar on Saturday and the girl behind the counter asked me if I wanted 'my usual' and I just nodded. Had no clue what she was going to hand me. Apparently I'm fond of mango pineapple smoothies," he said with a grin, but then quickly sobered. "Guys... I'm just tired of this." He waved his arm around to encompass the space. "I have read our files, I have done things with you guys, I have met half the population on this island and I just don't feel… connected. No matter what we do, where we go or all the good we do, I don't feel like I belong. It doesn't _**mean**_ anything to me. And honestly," he sighed. "I hate that feeling."

Chin nodded. "I can understand that," he said. "You have to have meaning in your life. A purpose. I know I did. I didn't realize it at the time, but when I met you that first day you came back, I was floundering. I had a dead-end job, very few people – even those in my family – who would even talk to me, and all that changed when you gave me a chance."

Steve stared at his friend, a strange expression on his face. "At the pier. Did we meet at the pier?" he asked.

Chin smiled. "We did. And you and Danny came back the next day and offered me a job."

"That was after you shanghaied me," Danny added.

"I didn't 'shanghai' anyone," Steve argued.

"Oh, yeah?" he laughed. "It seems only one of us actually remembers what happened and I say you ordered me to work with you."

"If I do ever remember that, I'm sure I'll prove you wrong."

"Twenty says you can't," Danny said.

"Guys, no," Catherine intervened. "You're not going to start betting on what Steve can and can't remember."

"No, I'm not betting on the fact that he _**can**_ remember, just on the fact that I'm right and he's wrong."

"You're on," Steve laughed, agreeing to the bet. "Only I don't have my wallet with me, it's still in the Camaro."

"And this is a surprise to how many of us?" Danny said as everyone laughed.

Catherine didn't pursue the fact that it wasn't exactly fair to place a bet with a person who had no memory because this was the first time in a long time she had actually heard Steve's laughter. She wasn't going to be the one to stifle that emotion.

H50 – H50 – H50


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you all again so much for reading and commenting. I really greatly appreciate it. One important thing... if you like this chapter, you really have to thank Cokie316 for it. She saved this one. Don't ask, but really, go and thank her. She deserves it!

* * *

**All Clear - Chapter 06**

After lunch Steve had excused himself to meet with Captain Draper. He had read the offer and decided that was not what he wanted for his future career. It looked like a desk job, and Steve was not ready to spend most of his time behind a desk. He felt too young to switch to administrative stuff, and his hunger for action was not yet satisfied.

He had to admit that Five-0 provided a great balance of both worlds. He had plenty of action, but could also use his analytical mind to solve cases. Steve had never been a fan of paperwork, but he always enjoyed mulling over problems, analyzing the info and reaching a conclusion. That was desk duty he enjoyed, but for sure not day in/day out. If he were to be placed behind a desk on a permanent basis he was sure he would go mad in a matter of weeks, if not days.

Of course he knew that being in the chain of command in the Navy meant he had to go where he was sent. But at the moment he was in the lucky position of having a choice. And riding a desk was not something Steve would choose.

"Commander, the captain awaits you. You can go right in," Draper's yeoman told Steve as he came into the captain's outer office.

"Thank you, Petty Officer," Steve answered and went in to see the commanding officer.

Steve stopped in front of the desk, and despite the fact that he was not in uniform, he came to attention. Even though it was only for a moment until Draper asked him to take a seat.

"Thank you for coming, Commander."

"Of course, Sir. I'm sorry you missed me yesterday."

"I take it you took a look at the papers?" Draper didn't waste any time and came right to the point.

"Yes, Sir, I have. Thank you for considering me for the post," Steve started to say.

"But you have decided to stay in Hawaii. Am I right?" Draper interrupted.

"Sir, I don't think it would be right for me to leave at this point," Steve started to explain. "I probably won't be declared fit for full duty for another four weeks. I think it would be best to wait until then before I make any life changing decisions."

"You understand that I can't keep this post open that long?"

"Yes, Sir, absolutely." Steve knew that if he didn't take the job now, he would lose the spot.

"I was afraid you would say that," the captain said. "Commander, can I give you some advice?"

"Of course, Sir." Steve wondered where this was going.

"It is obvious that you have a really good thing going here. You have done really good work here on the islands. Personally, I think You should stop trying to regain a life that you parted with over three years ago and should start trying to get your life back here in Hawaii. This is where you belong now."

"That's easier said than done, Sir."

"I can imagine," Draper said in sympathy. "But I'm sure you have friends you can rely on?"

"Mostly Lieutenant Rollins. Lately also Detective Williams, but that relationship is still very fresh and honestly I'm still not sure what to really think of him."

"I met Williams when the two of you assisted NCIS on a case about a year ago," Draper started to tell about a murder on base 14 months ago. "Sure, he's loudmouthed and even can be disrespectful at times, but he is also good at his job, and a very good friend and partner, as far as I could see from your interaction with him."

Steve only nodded and didn't comment on the 'loudmouthed' part. He knew that Danny could be obnoxious at times, but Steve also knew that Danny never meant any disrespect; it was just how he was. Sometimes Danny's brain had trouble catching up with his mouth but he spoke his mind and was not one who wanted to win any popularity contests.

"He is a great partner to work with, Sir."

"I'm sure he is," Draper said and stood up. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Commander, but I have another meeting in a few minutes. After you have weighed all your options, please inform me if you choose Hawaii over a second hitch in the Navy."

"Yes, Sir, I will," Steve told the captain as he was lead to the door. "Thank you for your time."

"Good luck to you, Commander. I hope everything will work out."

While leaving the office, Steve received a call from Duke. A couple of minutes later Steve was on his way to HPD.

H50 – H50 – H50

"Catherine, is Steve okay? He didn't look too well," Danny asked as they entered Five-0 headquarters after their lunch.

"No, not really," she admitted. "He's not saying anything, but he still has a really bad headache. Actually it has been there since last night when he came home from your 'paint-adventure'. Might be from the paint fumes, or from lack of sleep," Cath elaborated. "When he told you he didn't sleep well, he wasn't kidding. Trust me, his sleep was not restful."

"I'm sure Steve's dreams can be pretty violent," Chin chimed in. "I wish there was some way we could help him. What would you think of getting everyone together for a luau this Saturday?"

"You really think a party will trigger his memory?" Danny asked sarcastically.

"NO, of course not. But in a casual setting, maybe Steve can be reminded of the relationships he has with others. I don't think he is really interested in every little detail of what he has done in the last three years, but he wants a connection to the people around him," Chin explained his idea.

"I don't think that's a bad idea at all, Chin. Although I'm not sure he's up to having a lot of people over," Catherine wondered.

"Why?" Danny wanted to know.

Catherine had to smile at the question. "Steve is not as well as he wants you to believe he is. He doesn't get dizzy or nauseous anymore. Well, at least not very often," Cath began telling them. "But he still gets headaches when it's too loud or too many people are talking at once. He can't read for very long, and his short term memory is still a little affected. But his doctor assured him that will all be better in the next few weeks."

"Did Steve tell you that?" Danny wondered.

"Yeah. And I went with him to his latest appointment."

"He allowed you to go see his doctor?" Danny couldn't believe that one.

"He actually asked me to come," Cath told him with a grin. "I really like this new side of Steve. When he asked me to go, I first thought he was messing with me, but he was serious. So I went."

"Huh." Danny mumbled. "So, you don't think we should invite his friends?"

"No, I think it's a good idea. We just need to watch out and make sure that he doesn't overexert himself."

"We can do that," Danny said. "So, who do you think we should invite? It's not like Steve has a ton of friends on the islands."

"It's hard to stay in touch with friends at home when you are on the other side of the world. I know Steve has tried to keep contact with some friends by email and such, but it isn't really the same," Catherine explained, although Danny and Chin already understood that difficulty.

"So, who do you suggest we invite?" Danny asked. "Just his closest friends, or also some buddies from his Navy days?"

"I just ran into an old buddy the other day. He and Steve go way back, they served a tour together. Billy has just left the Navy and settled down here in Hawaii. I could ask him to come, maybe Steve would be happy to see him," Cath told them. She hadn't seen Billy since they ran into each other a few weeks back, but was sure Steve would like to meet him again. He knew about Billy's and her short- lived relationship. But thinking about that made her question if inviting him would be such a wise decision after all. "You know, maybe we _shouldn't_ invite him. After all, it has been a long time since they have seen each other."

"O-kay," Danny interrupted her thoughts, unsure what was going through her head. "Max of course is a given, and I think Mamo would be happy to help out. We could ask Kamekona to make us some Poke. I remember Steve really loved the last one he did with the tuna we caught on our trip. Too bad he can't remember that _**fun**_ day out at sea," Danny added sarcastically.

"Oh, come on, you guys had fun," Chin reminded him.

"Right, the shark was so much fun."

"Okay, I'll give you that. The shark was probably not that funny," Chin conceded. "So, Max, Kame, Mamo? Who else?"

"Grace, of course. Maybe she could ask Lucy to come?" Catherine asked.

"I think that can be arranged," Danny assured her. "Chin, will you invite Leilani?"

"I'll ask her, sure. Other than Duke, I think we should keep it at that. I know Steve trains with some guys from SWAT on a regular basis, but since we don't really know them, maybe we shouldn't invite them. Do you know, Cath?"

"No, not really. I know Steve does martial arts with the two guys, but as far as I know, they never 'hang out' together. Danny, do you know more about them*?"

"Not more than you, although they did call the other day and asked how Steve was doing. But I think Chin is right, we shouldn't invite them," Danny decided.

"All right then. So, what do you say to this Saturday? Is that too soon? Can we pull it off in such a short time?" Catherine wanted to know.

"Three days should be manageable," Danny voiced. "We can call everyone today and make the arrangements. I think that should work."

"Good. It's settled then as long as you can call everyone. I'm sorry that I can't stick around, but I need to pick up some documents and get back to base," Catherine told them why she had come with them to HQ.

"Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll call you later. When do you plan to tell Steve?" Danny asked.

"I'll tell him tonight," Cath said as she entered Steve's office to pick up the documents he had asked her to take to her CO. For a moment she wondered what was in the sealed envelope, but knew Steve would tell her soon enough.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**HPD Headquarters**_

Steve entered the Honolulu Police Department with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was the first time that he had come here on his own. He knew it was ridiculous to feel apprehensive coming here without Danny, but he couldn't help it. He felt vulnerable; a completely new feeling for him. Steve had always been a confident guy, always sure of himself and his abilities. But now with his memory problems, he wasn't sure who was friend or foe. And that feeling unnerved him.

When Danny was with him he felt protected. That thought actually made him snort. _Don't deny it, you depend on Williams more than you care to admit. Shut up._ Steve shook his head at his own thoughts and made his way over to Sergeant Lukela at the back of the precinct.

"Duke, hey, you wanted to see me?"

"Steve, thanks for coming. Come on, I have something I'd like to show you," Duke motioned for Steve to follow him.

"Okay," Steve said and followed the older officer. He tried to ignore the glances they were receiving from a few officers. Of course he knew not everyone liked him or the fact that he was the task force leader. Danny had told him that he had had one or two run-ins with a few of the boys in blue. Not always on his own behalf, but also often on Danny's. Steve had to grin when Danny told him that he hadn't made many friends during his short stint with HPD.

"I was talking to one of our PR photographers a couple days ago, and he told me that they have some footage you might like to see," Duke said as they walked down to the basement.

"Footage?"

"Yeah. I'm sure you have watched _Savannah Walker_ by now?" Duke asked.

"Who?" Steve had no idea what he was talking about.

"_Savannah_. The talk show? She and her crew accompanied you and your team for 24 hours last year. Nobody told you? They even filmed when you captured Wo Fat," Duke told him.

"What? Why didn't they say anything about that?" Steve wondered aloud why he wasn't informed about the filming by his friends... or Catherine.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe your doctor thought it wasn't a good idea?" Duke tried to come up with an explanation. "Anyway, I talked to Kama. He's our main photographer, who is responsible for the release of photos to the press. He has some footage and a lot of pictures of Five-0. We thought you might like to take a look at all of it," Duke said and pushed open the door to the PR archive.

"Thank you, Duke. That's a great idea. I didn't think about that," Steve had to admit.

Duke turned around and looked at Steve, "I really hope you plan to stay in Hawaii, Steve. This is your home, and a lot of people would really miss you if you left. Me included. I was good friends with your dad, and it pains me to see you so unhappy," Duke said with a touch of sadness.

Steve had to swallow upon hearing such heartfelt emotions from the older man. "Thank you, Duke," Steve softly said and squeezed the man's shoulder.

"Okay, here we are." Duke was all business again. "Kame?" He called out.

Steve looked at the short Hawaiian native. He was a bit shorter than Duke, but very thin with a hug mop of dark hair. His eyes were what surprised Steve the most, they were of a light blue and sparkled with mischief. He was for sure a very strange mixture.

"Commander McGarrett, good to see you again," Kama said with a friendly smooth voice.

"Ah, nice to see you, too," Steve answered politely, but had no memory of ever seeing him before.

"You don't remember me, do you?" Kame asked with a smile.

"No, I'm sorry, but I don't."

"Doesn't matter. We met a couple of times, when I had to ask about releasing some photos. Really, we haven't had that much contact," Kame assured Steve.

"Okay." Steve nodded. "Duke said you have some footage that might be interesting?"

"Yes, I put everything on a stick, so you can just go through it easily. There is a lot of stuff on here that isn't in the case files," Kame elaborated on the content of the stick. "You know, it's almost like a B-Roll in filming. The stuff that happens to the side of the 'action'. It's a lot of day-to-day stuff. You'll see when you watch it."

"Oh, okay. Thank you. I really appreciate what you're all doing," Steve awkwardly said. "Thank you."

"Hey, we all want you back, you know. You keep HPD on their toes and aren't afraid to speak up against the assholes around here," Kame added in a low voice. "No disrespect, Duke, but not everyone is as... good a cop as you are. And McGarrett and his team stand up to those idiots."

"Uh... thank you?" Steve wasn't really sure what to say to that.

"I have to go back to work. It was nice seeing you again, McGarrett," Kame said and turned without another word and was lost again in his archive.

Steve looked down at the stick in his hand and wondered what he would find on it.

H50 - H50 - H50

"No, Cath, absolutely not. I don't want a pity party," Steve said with conviction as they entered the kitchen after coming from dinner at _Rainbow_ where Cath had dropped on him the idea of the luau.

"What? You think that is what this is about?"

"Yeah, absolutely. You want to invite them so I can miraculously see them again and remember everything. That is not gonna happen. Besides, I don't want them looking at me like I'm some kind of freak," Steve told her.

"Steve-"

"No. Just don't. I don't want this," Steve said and turned to leave.

"Fine. Be that selfish SOB if you want," Catherine called after him.

"What?" Steve said and came back into the kitchen. "You think I'm selfish? Because I don't want a damn party?"

"NO. It has nothing to do with the party. But if you would stop feeling sorry for yourself you might want to take a look around you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve almost yelled.

"Have you ever stopped and thought about what Danny has lost? He lost his _**best**_ friend. And he blames himself for it every day," Catherine explained.

"I told him it wasn't his fault," Steve softly said.

"You can tell him that until you're blue in the face; but it won't make a difference. He's blaming himself for you getting hurt. Steve, I can't begin to imagine what you must feel, but your friend is suffering just as much." Catherine tried to get him to see reason. "And all the while he wonders if he will lose you for good if you choose to leave Hawaii. Steve, your friends and especially Danny, love you. They miss you. With your memory gone, they have lost a huge part of their life as well."

"I haven't thought about it that way," Steve admitted in a low tone. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Catherine gently said. "Just let them do this. And if nothing else, you can make some new memories from the party; at some point you have to start getting back to doing normal things."

"Somehow I feel inviting everyone to a party is not what I normally do," Steve said with a tentative smile.

"Well, that could be true, but technically you didn't invite them, we did," Cath told him smiling.

"Oh, is that so? Even before you talked to me?" Steve asked and rested his arms on Catherine's shoulders. He kissed her softly and continued. "I'm really sorry for being a jerk."

"You're forgiven," Catherine mumbled into the kiss.

"That's good to hear," Steve grinned and continued to kiss his way down her neck. "So, who's coming to that 'memory-party'?" Steve asked as he captured Catherine's lips again.

"Hmmm, you really wanna talk about that now?"

"I can think of something else to do," Steve answered and moved them out the kitchen without stopping kissing.

"At least your mother won't interrupt us again," Catherine told him.

"What?!" Steve called out and stepped away from Cath. "My mother walked in on us?" Steve almost shrieked.

"Well, kind of, yeah," Cath said still grinning. But she got serious when she saw the very strange look on Steve's face. "Steve, what's wrong?"

"We were on the couch... and were..." Steve paused and looked at Catherine. "My mom came down the stairs," Steve said in complete awe. It was the very first memory he had about his mother since before her "death".

"Yeah, she kind of killed the mood. You remember her?"

Steve could only nod, overwhelmed thinking about his mother. Up until now she had only been a woman in pictures, but now he had finally a tiny memory of her as an adult. All his memories had been from back when he had been a kid. This was very strange for him, and threw him for a loop.

"Steve, you okay?" Cath stepped closer and gently stroked his upper arm.

"Uh huh... it's just really weird, you know? Remembering her and all," Steve tried to explain.

"Maybe you should try and get in contact with her?"

"Maybe," Steve answered evasively. He still wasn't sure about how he wanted to handle his mother. After the shock of learning she was still alive, he was really mad at her. Then after hearing from Danny about her lies and her attempts to manipulate everyone around her, he wasn't sure he was ready to meet or even talk to her.

"Steve, at some point you have to at least talk to her," Catherine softly said.

"Yeah, I know, but as long as I can't remember what happened with her here, I'd be at a huge disadvantage. And I'm afraid she might try to use that in her favor."

"Maybe. But it's also a chance of something new," Cath reminded him.

"What I've heard about my mother so far, she isn't big on honest new beginnings."

"Well, that is certainly true. But you can't avoid her forever."

"Probably not. I'll ask Joe to help me locate her," Steve said, and then looked at Catherine. "I'm not mad at Joe, am I?" Steve suddenly worried.

"No, you're not," Catherine said with a smile in her voice. "You should call him, or better yet, why not invite him to the luau?"

"Hmm, okay," Steve mumbled absentmindedly. "Didn't you say something about my mom not interrupting us again? Want to test that theory?" Steve asked between kisses and gently pressed his eager body against his girlfriend.

"You're obviously feeling better," Cath observed.

"Yeah, headache's finally gone," Steve said and grinned at Cath.

"What's with the look?"

Instead of an answer he simply swept her off her feet and a few seconds later the bedroom door was closed and all sounds were muffled. But had anyone stood in the living room, they would have known that there was a lot more going on upstairs than kissing.

H50 - H50 - H50

* * *

_*remember the two guys playing football in the Thanksgiving episode? I wondered who they were. We never saw them before. So, I just thought they might be people Steve met in the gym either at HPD or Pearl. And since he was spreading the holiday spirit by inviting Grover, he might have invited them as well. Just my imagination going wild._


	7. Chapter 7

**All Clear - Chapter 07**

Steve still wasn't happy about the prospect of a party to jog his memory. Even after Cath had assured him a few times that wasn't the purpose of the get-together.

But Steve couldn't help it; he felt like he would be on the spot and they all expected him to make some great progress in remembering them. What he really wanted to do, but was of course pretty much out of the question, was simply skip this whole party-thing altogether.

Knowing that he would attend didn't keep him from wishing something would happen that would prevent him from it. He grinned when he thought about what he had come up with in the last couple of hours that would make sure he wouldn't be present at the luau. He had to chuckle at some of the wilder thoughts.

His mood sobered when he neared the Five-0 offices and saw Danny standing at the smart table, animatedly talking to Chin. Steve swung the glass door open and marched into the office. Anyone who knew him would know that he was not in a good mood. Chin and Danny stopped talking and looked at their boss with questioning looks on their faces.

Steve didn't even bother with any greetings, but came right to the point. "Care to explain to me why you failed to mention that a TV crew had been following us for 24 hours a few months back?" Steve fired off his accusing question. He was still mad that his _team_ had not mentioned the footage even once in the last weeks.

"You mean the Savannah show?" Danny asked.

"Was there any other crew following us? YES, Danny, I'm talking about Savannah Walker," Steve told them rather upset. "Why the heck didn't you tell me that?"

"Didn't you read the case file about capturing Wo Fat?" Danny started to say.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"There is a note about the show in the file. I thought you had already watched it."

"I'm not that far into the cases yet. I read them in chronological order," Steve explained.

"In chronological... you've got to be kidding me," Danny exclaimed.

"No." Steve shook his head. For him it was logical to read the cases in that order. "I know that Wo Fat had been captured, but I haven't read yet how. The last file I read was about the Delano brother coming back for Chin, to avenge his brother's death."

"I'm sorry, Steve. We didn't mean to withhold that information," Chin explained. "We wondered why you didn't talk about it, but we didn't want to push you. We wanted to give you time to process everything."

Steve looked at his two team mates and realized what they said made some kind of sense. But he still wished they had talked to him about it. "Okay."

"Did you watch it?" Danny wanted to know.

"No. First I wanted to know why you didn't want me to see it." Steve looked at Danny just in time to see him roll his eyes, which made him smile. "Okay, I get what you said," Steve said still smiling.

"We didn't keep this from you, Steve. Really." Danny emphasized. "Where did you get the footage from if you haven't read the case file yet?" He asked.

"Duke. He actually gave me a lot of other stuff too. I thought I can go through it today, if we don't get a new lead on the robbery," Steve explained his plan for the day.

"That's a good idea," Chin said. "You can ask us if you have any questions. What else did Duke give you?"

"I had a talk with Kama, the PR photographer, and he mostly talked about us at crime scenes and stuff like that. Also some video footage from crime scenes," Steve explained about what he got from the PR guy.

"He's been here a few times," Danny remembered the Hawaiian man.

"Yeah. So," Steve started to change the subject. "Anything new about the robbery?"

"Actually yes, Chin and I were just talking about a tip we got from Kamekona," Danny explained. "He heard about two guys bragging about a heist they pulled and that even Five-0 is looking for them."

"That seems like the intelligence level we're looking for," Steve said with a grin.

"Yeah, we thought it was worth checking out," Danny answered.

"Do we have an address?"

"Yeah, but our shrimp king gave us two different locations, so we have to divide or take one at a time," Danny told what they were discussing earlier.

"Okay. Do we have to wait for a warrant?"

"Excuse me? Did you say warrant?" Danny asked.

"Yeah? Isn't that what we need if we want to talk to them? That's what I read in the book about police procedure." Steve looked at Danny and wondered what was so funny about his suggestion. It was not like he knew a lot about police work yet since he came from a SEAL background, but that was what he had read in the obviously well used book he found in his desk.

"Time out here," Danny interrupted his thoughts. "Let's go back a second, you read up on proper procedure?"

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you think I wouldn't inform myself about how to handle this police stuff?" Steve asked almost offended that Danny thought he wouldn't learn such things. "What the heck is so funny about that?" Steve looked from Chin to Danny, who had identical grins on their faces and were on the brink of laughing out loud. "You know what, forget about it. You go, and I'll sit in my office. I'm not cleared for field work anyway," Steve said, turned and went into his office. Leaving a stunned Danny and Chin behind.

_Very smooth, Steve. What the hell was that?_ Steve thought to himself as he plopped down in his chair, rubbing his temple where an annoying headache had resided since this morning.

Steve looked up when Danny stuck his head into the office, "Can I come in?"

"What for? Making more fun of me?" Steve answered resentful.

"I wasn't making fun of you, Steve," Danny started to say.

"Whatever," Steve grumbled.

"I'm sorry, okay? Look, you just caught us by surprise," Danny said and continues after seeing his friend was at least listening. "Honestly, Steve? I never thought about you reading up on police procedure. You saying that brought up a lot of memories where you, well, we, clearly did not follow the rules."

"Just because I don't always do what the book says doesn't mean I don't know what's in it," Steve told Danny. "Are you saying you thought I never even bothered to learn about a job I took on?"

"Well..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Steve again grumbled. "Seems to me you really don't know much about me, Danny." After a little pause he added softly, "I'm sorry I ran out like that."

"I think I know you pretty well, Steven," Danny defended himself.

"Really? I highly doubt that. But it doesn't matter. I don't know you at all, so, I guess that makes us even."

"Steve, where is this suddenly coming from? Why do you think you don't know me or I you, or whatever?"

"Catherine said something to me yesterday, something I haven't even thought about. I... I'm sorry, Danny. I'm sorry that you lost your friend. That he was replaced by... well... me," Steve started to explain. "I'm sorry I can't be the guy you knew."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I haven't realized that you have lost your best friend, Danny. I realized that you guys have lost even more than I did, because I can't remember our friendship. And I can't miss what I can't remember, you know?"

Steve watched Danny sit down in the armchair in front of his desk, shaking his head doing so. "Steve, you are still my best friend, and I hope at some point you will either remember me, or we will built a new bond. I'm sorry I made you feel like I was making fun of you. Grace told me not to call you names all the time, she said it would make you sad," Danny rambled on. "I told her that was ridiculous because that is just how we do things, but she said that was how we _**did**_ things in the past, and that you looked sad when I called you a moron."

Steve actually had to chuckle at that. Grace had come to him a few days ago and told him not to be sad or even mad at Danny for being called an idiot or a moron. She had told him very seriously that her Danno loved him, and only called him names because Danno couldn't express his emotions better. Steve had looked at her open mouthed and she then explained her teacher Mister Phillips had talked to them about the difference between how women say what they mean and how men express the same feeling. She had told Steve that men were pretty stupid, but that her Danno loved him no matter how stupid he was talking.

"What are you laughing at?" Danny asked as Steve's chuckles resolved into laughter.

"Your daughter," Steve answered.

"Huh?"

Steve then told him about the conversation with Grace and how they were all just stupid men.

"Stupid men?" Danny asked.

"I guess she heard that from Rachel?" Steve suggested.

"Probably." Danny nodded, still smiling about his daughter. "Are we good?"

"Yes, Danny, we're good." Steve told him with a smile.

"Good. So that means we can go now?"

"Go? Go where?" Steve asked but was already standing up to leave the office.

"Did you even listen when we talked about our two suspects?" Danny teased him.

"Oh, right, the robbery. Well, yeah, I listened, but you didn't answer my question. Do we need a warrant?"

Danny only rolled his eyes and led the way out of headquarters with Steve following him still grinning.

H50 - H50 - H50

The addresses, Danny and Steve were now on their way to, were in Waipahu. Chin was right behind them, he would take a look at the house on Awaiki Street, just a few streets north of Awamoku Street.

"They sound all the same to me," Danny said into the silence of the car.

"What?"

"The streets, they sound all the same to me. Four years, and I still can't pronounce them right," Danny told Steve.

"It's not an easy language. We could practice if you like. Grace does a pretty good job, she likes our sessions." Steve had been very happy to learn that he and Grace used to get together and practice language skills. He had suggested that there were better teachers for her to learn the language, but both she and Danny had insisted that it was their 'thing'. They had told him that they had met every other week.

"Probably because of the amounts of shave ice you two always eat," Danny mumbled.

Steve only grinned at that. Grace had told him that they always had shave ice after the lessons, so Steve had decided to indulge himself twice a month. Even though he had his suspicion that Grace had made up that detail of their lessons.

"Grace is very good at learning the language; she told me she has an A in school now."

"She has fun practicing it with you. She said you always make it fun and interesting and that it doesn't seem like a lesson," Danny explained.

"Oh." Steve didn't really know what to say to that. It almost sounded like a compliment, but with Danny one could never be sure. "So, how do we do this? Just go and talk to the homeowner; what was his name again?" Steve asked as he turned onto the right street and stopped the car. The address was at the end of the long street behind a ninety degree corner. They house they were looking for was almost next to the fenced off Naval Station.

Danny looked on his notes before answering. "Kim Ito, but he's renting out the house. We have no information about the renters."

"Oh, okay," Steve said and pressed the speed dial for Chin.

"_Yeah, Steve?"_

"Are you in position? Is HPD with you?"

"_Yes, we're ready whenever you guys are," _came the answer over the phone.

"Alright, we're thirty seconds out." Steve ended the call and drove the rest of the way to their target.

They parked in front of the one story house and got out of the car. So far nothing looked suspicious. Steve didn't know what he had expected. _Maybe a sign with 'robbers in here' on the front lawn? Shut up._ Steve shook his head at his own thoughts.

"I didn't say anything," Danny said.

"What?"

"You said 'shut up'."

"No, I didn't. Why would I say that?" Steve looked a Danny, daring him to say anything else.

Both were shaking their heads at the other as they walked up the three steps leading to the front porch. Before they even reached the top, the door opened and a small dark haired guy in his twenties stepped out. When he saw the two police officers he instantly yelled 'cops' into the house and tried to get back inside. But Danny was faster and grabbed his shirt.

They heard a door banging and knew the accomplice just went out the back door. Before Danny could even say anything, Steve had already leaped over the low railing and ran after the second guy.

H50 - H50 - H50

Steve cursed under his breath as he ran through the small passage between the fence and the house leading to the back yard. He could still hear Danny struggling a bit with the first guy, but knew he would have no problem arresting him. When he had jumped over the railing Danny had him already against the door with his hands behind his back.

He barely avoided another low hanging branch of the thick vegetation; they could clearly use a gardener around here. Steve saw the man he was running after just making a jump and Steve wondered what lay ahead of him. A second later he saw why the guy had jumped and again cursed under his breath.

Ten feet in front of him was a not so small creek, maybe 12 feet wide. Not a distance Steve couldn't jump, but the ground wasn't even, and Steve had no time to even think about how to jump over it. He didn't slow down and when he jumped he just hoped for the best.

Even running that short distance had caused his head to pound with the rhythm of his heart. This was exactly why he was not cleared for full duty. He was still not allowed to run, only "mild jogging" as his doctor called it, was acceptable. What Steve normally did, no one would call 'jogging'.

This time Steve cursed aloud when he didn't make it all the way over the creek but landed just short of firm ground. He lost his balance and fell backwards into the water. Spluttering and swearing he crawl-walked out of the creek and continued to run after their suspect. Who had used the head start and was now at least a good fifty feet ahead of Steve.

Steve ran as fast as he could and saw with satisfaction that he came closer to the tall, athletic guy rather quickly. Leaving a wet trail behind he doubled his effort to catch up to the running suspect.

They were now running across the adjoining golf course and Steve hoped they wouldn't get hit by any flying tiny hard balls. They had just passed a sand bunker when it was clear where the runner was headed. Steve could see the small bridge over the river that was a lot wider than the small creek from just minutes ago.

Steve knew that there were a few parking lots along the harbor, and their suspect was heading straight for them. It was very possible that he had a car parked on one of them. It was the only logical reason to even run in this direction. Other than the access road there was only water and a few harbored Navy ships beyond this point.

They had by now reached the small bridge and Steve was almost in tackling distance when their suspect suddenly stopped in the middle of the bridge. A move that took Steve by surprise, but he adapted on the spot and barreled into the tall guy. Steve estimated him at least a few inches taller than himself.

It took only a few seconds to realize that this guy was not just a fast runner, but really good at martial arts too. Steve had to block a few precise hits and kicks, and his gun he had in his hand the whole time they had been running went flying into the water when tall guy came through with a hard kick to Steve's wrist.

Suppressing a howl of pain Steve went after the man with a few kicks and hits of his own that were pretty effective and would have send anyone to the ground by now. Not so tall guy, he stood his ground and countered with a low kick that sent Steve to his knees. Grinding his teeth and groaning he used his position and launched himself at the knees of tall guy that were right in front of him.

Unfortunately that was what he had anticipated and after twisting his body, his knee connected with Steve's temple and the head of the governor's task force was out before he even hit the ground.

H50 - H50 - H50


	8. Chapter 8

**All Clear - Chapter 08**

„Sir, I know I screwed up. You will have my resignation on your desk as soon as I…"

"McGarrett, don't be ridiculous," Denning interrupted Steve.

"Governor, I endangered my partner, myself and I let the suspect get away." Even though Steve had learned 'tall guy' hadn't gotten far, it still was a sore point to have lost in the fight. "If that is not a screw up, then I don't know what is," Steve explained his reasoning for the resignation. "I should never have been there in the first place," Steve added in a low voice.

"No, you shouldn't have. This," Denning said and motioned around the hospital room, "could have ended a lot worse. You could be dead."

"I know," Steve softly said.

"Commander… Steve, we all make mistakes," Denning started his speech. "But there is no reason for you to resign," the Governor said, shaking his head almost in amusement. "You're blowing this way out of proportion. I'm sure you didn't endanger yourself on purpose?" The Governor asked and sat down on the chair next to Steve's bed.

"No, Sir, of course not."

"I will take this as an error in judgment. Nothing more and nothing less. I'm sure you didn't expect to be involved in a foot chase and for sure were not planning to fight a professional MMA fighter?"

"No, Sir," Steve admitted. It still smarted that he had lost in hand-to-hand combat.

"I guess you would be reprimanded for what you had done if you were still on active duty?"

"Yes, Sir." Steve was sure he would not have gotten away with going out in the field while still benched.

"Okay, then consider yourself officially reprimanded," Denning told him with a stern voice. "I expect there won't be the need for a repeat of this conversation?"

"No, Sir, absolutely not."

"So, I can take it you have learned your lesson?" Denning looked at his subordinate and waited for an answer.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Now, enough with the _official_ part of my visit," Denning changed the subject. "How are you? What's the damage?" The Governor asked in honest concern.

"Mild concussion, but major headache," Steve admitted. "They will keep me for a couple of days."

"So, you managed to get away without a major head injury?"

"Yeah, I was really lucky that the bones are already almost healed," Steve told the Governor. He laid his head back when another wave of pain assaulted him. Ever since he woke up this morning the headache had spiked every few minutes and left him with a severe pounding and dizziness.

"I should leave you to rest, Commander. Call me when you're released," Denning added and turned to leave.

"Yes, Sir, I will." Steve didn't bother to open his eyes and willed the room to stop spinning. Although not with any kind of success. He knew that he would get sick again and hoped Denning would not be a witness to it.

But Steve hadn't needed to worry about it; Denning had left after seeing that the head of his task force was feeling rather sick at the moment.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**36 hours earlier**_

"Danny, what the hell happened?" Catherine asked as soon as she entered the ER waiting room.

Danny looked up from his sitting position on the uncomfortable chair he had occupied for over an hour now. He had dreaded this moment; having to explain to Catherine why her boyfriend again ended up in the hospital on his watch.

"Cath, I…"

"How did he get injured, Danny? Will he be okay?" Cath asked and after looking at the distressed detective added, "are _**you**_ okay?"

"I'm fine," Danny answered and motioned for Cath to take a seat next to him. "We were going to talk to a suspect… and suddenly it all went to hell so quickly… I'm sorry, Cath, we screwed up."

"What the heck was Steve doing out in the field?"

"We didn't expect any trouble. Steve has always been careful the last few weeks, and stayed mostly behind, but I guess he was feeling really good, so we went to the door together… and, well, he ran after one of the suspects… and…" Danny paused and didn't know how to explain what had happened next.

"And then what, Danny? What did he do?"

"I don't know," Danny had to admit. It was nagging at him that he hadn't been fast enough to back up his partner. Which of course was a ridiculous thought, but one he couldn't help thinking. "It took a couple of minutes to deal with my own suspect, and when I could finally follow Steve, well, they had a really good head start."

"Did you catch up with them?" Cath wanted to know.

"Yeah," Danny started to tell her...

_Danny had grabbed their first suspect by his shirt and tried to keep him pressed against the now closed door. "Hold still or you will break your arm," Danny almost yelled at the idiot who was wiggling and trying to get out of Danny's grip, all the while cursing like a drunken sailor. "That is not a nice thing to say about my mother," Danny angrily said to his suspect and pushed him against the door again._

_He then took the arm with the cuffs dangling from the suspect's wrist and twisted it behind his back and pushed the man down the steps. Danny marched them straight to the lamp post right in front of the house and cuffed the young man to it. _

"_Unless you can jimmy-up the post you will be here when I come back," Danny told the still swearing guy. He had to grin for a second seeing their suspect with his hands cuffed backwards around the lamp post. No way was he getting away._

_Danny then took his phone out and called Chin for back-up. He was already turning back into the house; before he could chase after his partner he had to at least make sure they didn't miss anyone else. But it only took him a few seconds to see the house was now empty. Danny left through the back door and cursed himself when he saw the creek he had to jump over._

_He went a few steps back and then easily jumped the 12 feet and landed more or less on firm ground. He let himself fall forward and avoided to land backwards in the water. Danny looked around for his partner and their runner. He saw the wet trail one of them had left and when he looked to the far left he saw Steve just disappearing behind some bushes. Danny would later learn that they had reached the bridge when he started to run after them. _

_Danny now ran as fast as he could toward where he had lost sight of his partner, and hoped he would catch up with them. He looked ahead in the hope of seeing Chin who said he would come from the other direction to cut off their runner. Danny hoped Chin would be in time to help his friend._

_After what Danny thought took forever he finally reached the point where his friend had disappeared, and now saw that it was a small bridge leading over a much bigger creek than the one he had crossed earlier. Danny almost stopped in shock when he realized what he saw on the middle of the bridge._

"_No, no, no, no," Danny called out as he raced to check on his motionless partner who lay outstretched on his stomach on the ground._

_He frantically looked around for the second suspect as he kneeled next to Steve. With a bit of satisfaction he saw that Chin had almost run the tall guy over with his car, and was just in the process of cuffing him while he lay half over the hood of the police car. Seeing that he focused back on his partner._

"_Steve?" He called out as he searched for a pulse on his friend's neck. Relief flooded him when he found a strong regular beat. "Steve, can you hear me?" _

_Danny bent down a bit more and looked into Steve's face, which was almost completely turned to the ground. "Oh, shit," Danny exclaimed after seeing the blood coming out of Steve's nose. He made sure that his friend's airways were free and he was glad to see that his breathing wasn't labored._

_Danny didn't dare move him. Just like all those weeks back, Danny made sure that his partner was stable for the moment and waited for the professionals. He took a close look at Steve and could see that bruises were already forming on his arms. He had obviously been in a serious fight with their second suspect. Danny wondered for a moment how that guy had managed to knock out his SEAL-trained partner._

_He either got a lucky shot in, or Steve's reflexes had been compromised more than they had all thought. Danny again tried to rouse his partner, "Steve! Come on, man, don't do this to us again."_

_Danny had his hand on Steve's shoulder and almost jumped out of his skin when the injured man groaned and pulled one leg up and curled somewhat into himself._

"_Steve? Are you with me?" Danny again called out and gently shook Steve's shoulder without really moving him._

"_Ugh," came a very incoherent grunting sound._

"_Steve! That's it, come on wake up," Danny tried to encourage his partner._

"_Ow... 'urts," that could be called speaking if one was generous._

"_I bet it does. Come on now, Steven, look at me," Danny said, but didn't get another reaction out of the downed man. _

_Danny could hear the sirens of an ambulance already close by and would be very happy to see the EMTs sooner rather than later. Seeing his partner again laying so still reminded him too much of the scenes just a few weeks ago._

_Just a minute later EMS arrived on the scene and took over. Danny stood back and watched them go to work. They gently turned his partner onto his back after securing a neck brace on him. Danny then saw the damage to Steve's face. A bloody deep and dirty abrasion was prominent on his left cheek from just under his eye. The whole left side looked slightly swollen and a trickle of blood still ran out of his nose. And a bruise was already forming on his left temple and forehead._

_The paramedics did a thorough check for any broken bones before they loaded him onto a stretcher. All the while Steve only reacted with a grunt of pain when one of the young men checked his right wrist and when he palpated Steve's right lower ribcage. But other than that they couldn't rouse him again._

_A few minutes later Steve was on his way to the hospital, Danny right behind him, and Chin with their second suspect on the way to headquarters, where the man Danny arrested would be brought by HPD._

H50 - H50 - H50

"Did the doctor talk to you yet, what did the EMT say?" Catherine was now really worried having to learn that her friend had lost consciousness. She knew that couldn't be good with a pre-existing TBI.

"The EMTs couldn't rouse him, which worried them. He didn't really wake at all," Danny said with a low voice. "Cath, he just wouldn't wake up. Just like back when…" Danny's voice broke.

"Detective Williams?" They were interrupted by a nurse calling to them.

"Yes? How is Commander McGarrett?" Danny asked as they both made their way over to the nurse who came out of the ER area.

"Dr. Kiley will be with you shortly; he said to go up to the ICU where the commander will be brought after his tests are done."

"ICU?" Catherine asked alarmed.

"I'm sorry I can't give you any more information. But as I said, Dr. Kiley will be with you in a little while," the nurse said and motioned for them to go upstairs as they were told.

"Thank you," Danny said and followed Catherine who was already on her way to talk to Steve's doctor.

They had to wait another hour until Steve's neurosurgeon came to see them.

"Lieutenant Rollins, Detective Williams, not a pleasure seeing you again," Kiley greeted them.

"Steve doesn't seem to be able to stay away," Danny grumbled.

"Seems that way," the doctor answered with a smile which gave them some hope.

"Dr. Kiley, how is Steve?" Catherine asked what they both wanted to know.

"He hasn't regained consciousness yet," Kiley started to explain. "But he's on the brink of waking up; we were able to rouse him a few times, even though I wouldn't call him coherent."

"Did he suffer another skull fracture?" Danny asked.

"No, he was very lucky. He has a mild concussion, a few deep abrasions, some serious bruises and a distal radius fracture."

"A distal what?" Catherine questioned.

"He broke his right wrist. We think he was either hit with some serious force, or he fell on it. My guess is he was hit, it fits the other bruises."

"He fractured his wrist?" Danny knew that could lead to all kinds of complications, especially since it was his dominant hand.

"Yes, but again he was lucky. It is a type one fracture. The bone is stable and not displaced, which means we don't even have to set the bones. His prognosis is excellent. At the moment the wrist is splinted and will be cast when the swelling is down," the surgeon explained.

"When will he wake up?" Catherine asked the most important question, at least for her, so she could see for herself that Steve really had been as lucky as the doctor said.

"That is hard to say, but I think he will come fully awake in the next 12 to 24 hours. Give or take."

"That long?" Danny asked a bit shocked.

"Don't worry about that, he is in and out of consciousness at the moment. He still suffers from the previous TBI, so he will need a little longer to shake off this concussion," Kiley explained. "But I don't expect any complications. We will keep a close eye on him until he's fully awake. But it's really just a precaution."

"Can we see him?"

"Yes, of course. He will be settled in the ICU in about half an hour. Call me if you have any further questions," Kiley told them and left them alone to tend to his other patients.

H50 - H50 - H50

The first that filtered through the haze was a soft spoken voice that was obviously arguing with another voice. It didn't really make a lot of sense, but Steve tried to listen to it anyway. While he used the voices as a guide to find his way out of the haze that was his brain at the moment, Steve tried to remember what had happened.

_Ah shit, you screwed up big time._ Steve suddenly remembered the chase after tall guy and how he had managed to bring him to his knees. And he remembered the ungodly pain exploding in his head when he had connected with tall guy's knee. Thankfully that had only lasted for a fraction of a second, but that had been long enough to make him question if his head hadn't exploded after all.

Steve tried to get a bit more comfortable, but that only resulted in pain shooting up his right arm.

"Ugh, what?" Steve mumbled, still not completely awake.

"Steve? Steve, are you awake?"

He smiled at hearing Catherine's voice, but the smile turned into a frown thinking about how pissed she would be that he had landed in the hospital.

"Sorry," Steve said and was pretty sure that was understandable.

He still had to open his eyes, but kind of dreaded that task. Experience had taught him opening his eyes after being unconscious really hurt. So he kept them closed for the time being.

"Steve, can you open your eyes for us?"

_Damn._ "Light hurts," Steve muttered and kept his eyes stubbornly closed.

"It's almost dark in here. Come on, give it a try," Catherine coaxed him.

His eyelids felt like they were glued shut or something; it was a real struggle to even open them to small slits. And darn, he had been right, even though Cath had spoken the truth about it being almost dark, that little light in the room still hurt and made his stomach churn.

"Urgh, sick," Steve said and swallowed a few times to keep the bile from rising.

He had his eyes tightly closed, but could feel a lot of activity around him after the soft beeping in the background got a bit more erratic and faster. He felt the blanket pushed out of the way and then a prick by his hip. He knew he was just injected with anti-nausea meds; he just hoped they would work fast enough. A wish that, of course, was not granted.

The bout of puking left him totally drained and it took another two hours until he resurfaced again. This time to a room with only his doctor by his bedside.

"Nice of you to join us again," Dr. Kiley said when he saw his patient was waking up.

Steve looked around the room and wondered where everyone was.

"I sent them home," Kiley answered the unspoken question. "I thought you and I need to have a little talk first," he added seriously.

"Uh huh," Steve noncommittal answered.

"But first, how do you feel?"

"My head hurts," Steve admitted straight out.

"You want something more for the pain?"

"Yeah, think so," Steve softly said and closed his eyes.

"Give it a minute, you should feel better soon," Kiley said after releasing another dose of pain medication into Steve's IV. "Do you feel nauseous at the moment?"

"No," Steve answered without opening his eyes. He was still waiting for the lecture of how to act with a still healing TBI. But when his doctor didn't say a thing he slowly opened his eyes, seeing him sitting calmly next to the bed. "I'm sorry," Steve whispered.

"Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

"I guess so," Steve mumbled.

"You guess so? Well, Commander, you are one lucky SOB, I can tell you that. You came this close to becoming severely brain damaged," Kiley said and held his thumb and index finger with no space between them.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Steve started to say, but stopped when pain again washed over him and he closed his eyes.

"I know you didn't," Kiley said with a suddenly soft voice. "Get some more rest, we will talk later. By the way, you will be fine. Not much damage done."

"Thank you." Steve wasn't really sure what he thanked him for, but he didn't have the time to think about it any further before he fell back to sleep.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**Present Time**_

"Governor, Sir, did you speak to McGarrett?" Danny asked when he saw Denning coming out of his friend's room.

"Good morning, Detective Williams. Lieutenant Rollins," he greeted the two friends. "Yeah, I had an interesting talk with him. Did you know that he was willing to hand in his resignation, because he thinks he screwed up?"

"What? That idiot," Danny exclaimed. "Sir, I assure you, it's not just Steve's fault. I should..."

"Relax, Detective," Denning interrupted him with a smile. "I told him not to be a drama queen and see it as it was, a mistake that won't happen again."

"Sir, we will make sure that nothing of the sort happens again. Even if we have to tie him to his office," Danny told his employer.

"I don't think that will be necessary. Steve seemed rather upset that he endangered his partner and that the suspect got away."

"Endangered... what? I was never in any danger. What the heck is he talking about?"

"Well, Detective, I think you have your work cut out for you. I'm not sure this episode helps his opinion of being a good police officer. Which he really is, but he can't see that," Denning added and looked at Danny. "Make him realize that."

"Yes, Sir," Danny answered.

Denning said his good bye and Danny watched him leave. "Make him see that. Pfff, how does he think I'll do that?" Danny grumbled as he and Cath entered Steve's hospital room.

H50 - H50 - H50


	9. Chapter 9

**_Thank you all so much for your reviews, for just reading or putting this story on alert._**

**_I hope all of you will have a wonderful time with family and friends during the Christmas holiday, whether you celebrate it or not._**

* * *

**All Clear - Chapter 09**

Danny and Catherine stood back while two nurses tried to make Steve a bit more presentable after his bout of nausea. They watched him lay with his eyes closed, allowing the nurses to manhandle him without any resistance.

His lack of participation was what worried the two the most. They understood that it was normal to get sick with a head injury like Steve's; that was nothing, in itself, to worry about. But the Steve they knew would not just lie lifeless in bed and allow the nurses care for him like that.

It took a few more minutes until they were finished and it appeared Steve was resting comfortably again. That gave them the time to take a good look at their downed friend. The bruises on his face were now pretty pronounced. The eye wasn't swollen shut, but there were bruises from his forehead to his temple, and the abrasion on his cheek looked slightly swollen and was painfully red. With a bit of orange from the antiseptic added into the mix.

The entire left side of Steve's head looked like it was hurting big time. His right wrist was still not casted but immobilized with a soft brace and his arm rested on his chest with a pillow by his side, so the arm had support and wouldn't slip down. They could see that there also was a soft brace around his right knee which had gotten painfully twisted when Steve received a well placed low kick to the leg. The one that had brought him to his knees. His leg was slightly elevated and a cooling pack helped to bring the swelling further down.

The orthopedic surgeon had assured them that the knee would be fine in a few days if Steve stayed off of it. Which was obviously no problem since he was not able to get up anyway.

"Commander, we're giving you another shot for the nausea. You will feel a little prick, don't be alarmed," they were brought out of their observations when the nurse told Steve what she was about to do.

They watched her inject the medication in Steve's backside and could see that his right hip was also a nice shade of purple-blue. Nick Butler had done a real number on him.

Finally the nurses left them alone with their injured friend.

"Hey, Sailor, how're you doing?" Catherine asked and gave Steve a gentle kiss.

"Uh, better. I think," Steve answered softly.

"I'm sorry we haven't been here earlier, but Danny had to deal with the DA and Dr. Kiley wouldn't let me see you," Cath explained why they hadn't been in when Steve had first woken up this morning.

"Yeah, Buddy, sorry no one was here," Danny said and stepped closer to the bed after giving them at least a little privacy.

"Don't worry; its fine. I've been asleep most of the day anyway," Steve told them.

Danny and Cath watched their friend struggle to stay awake. "Steve, go back to sleep, we'll be here when you wake up," Cath told her friend.

"Hmm."

Danny pulled a chair over to sit on the opposite side of the bed and they both settled in to wait for Steve to wake up again. It felt like that was something that they did quite often lately.

H50 - H50 - H50

It felt like a déjà vu to Steve. Again he listened to soft voices arguing over something. The longer he listened the more he realized the voices argued about him. And that they belonged to Cath and Danny.

For a few seconds he thought it wasn't nice to eavesdrop on his friends like that, but on the other hand, it wasn't nice for them to talk about him behind his back either. Well, it wasn't really behind his back since he was in the room. Steve had to suppress a chuckle when Danny got louder by the minute. He could just imagine his hands flying like windmills to make his point. A trait he found just as much endearing as annoying. He came to the realization that was the problem he had with Danny.

Just as much as he liked the guy, really liked him, he also found him rude and annoying. His friend was such a strange mix. _Yeah, and put loud on that list too. _

"Hey, could you dial it down a notch?" Steve grumbled when there was a pause in their discussion.

"Steve! You're awake."

"Great observation, Detective," Steve said without opening his eyes. "How could anyone sleep with you yelling like that?"

"Sorry," Danny said and settled back in his chair.

"Hmm," Steve murmured as he struggled to open his eyes. He finally managed to look at the two people sitting left and right to his bed. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself," Cath said, bent over and gave him another soft kiss. "How do you feel?"

"My head hurts," Steve admitted.

"Yeah, Buddy, that's what you get for losing in a fight," Danny shared his wisdom.

Steve glared at his partner, but abandoned the action when it caused his headache to spike. It was already a sore spot to have lost against tall guy, whose name he still didn't know; he didn't need Williams to remind him of that. Steve shifted in bed to find a more comfortable position, but it was a hopeless task with the pain in his knee and arm. No matter how he held them, they still hurt. The wrist not so much since it was pretty much immobilized, but his knee hurt with every movement.

"Lie still, you will only hurt yourself," Danny said.

"Thank you for that advice," Steve again grumbled. He was obviously in a rather foul mood. "Sorry," he said after a moment. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"That's okay, don't worry." Danny smiled at him. "Steve, do you remember what happened?"

Steve looked at Danny and Cath and could see that they both looked rather worried. It dawned on him that they were concerned that even more memories got lost in his brain. "Yeah, I remember. I'm sorry I put you in danger, Danny."

"What? What are you talking about? I was _**not**_ in any danger."

"I shouldn't have been there, Danny. You could have gotten hurt, I—"

"Steve, that is ridiculous. You're right; you shouldn't have gone after the suspect. That put _**you**_ in grave danger. _**We**_ should have thought about that before we went to the house," Danny interrupted his partner. "But I was never in any danger because of you. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough to back you up."

Steve kept silent for a moment and thought about what Danny had said. "Okay. But I'm sorry I was careless and went with you."

"Yeah, yeah, forget about it. We are just glad you're going to be okay."

"Steve, we have been so worried. You could have been killed. Nick Butler is an MMA fighter who competes in semi professional tournaments," Cath told her friend.

"That's his name?" Steve wanted to know.

"Yeah. Nick Butler. And if it makes you feel better, you broke his nose," Danny told him.

Steve snorted at that, thinking about his own sore face. _And broken bones, don't forget your broken bones._ "Didn't do me any good," he grumbled. "He kicked my gun into the water, and got quite a few good hits in," Steve grudgingly admitted. "When he got a low kick to the knee in, I knew I was going down for good."

"Speaking of your weapon, you're welcome," Danny said.

"Huh?"

"We raked the river below the bridge and fished it out. I just knew you would want it back."

"Damn straight. Thanks." Steve made a face when he moved his knee once again while attempting to get comfortable.

"Your doctor told us there is no serious damage to the knee," Cath told him.

"Hurts like it's messed up," Steve said and again shifted on the bed. When he settled back he looked at his two friends and despite being tired and hurting, he realized they had something on their minds. Something they didn't know how to say. "What's wrong?"

"We talked to the Governor on his way out," Danny began.

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'. What the hell were you thinking? Turning in your resignation? Why would you do that, Steven?"

"Don't yell," Steve said and closed his eyes when the loud voice hurt his head. He had the suspicion it had not much to do with Danny's voice, but was something he would experience for a while regardless of his environment.

"Steve, are you okay?" Catherine asked in worry.

"Head hurts," Steve mumbled without opening his eyes.

"You need us to call a nurse?"

Steve took a moment to answer, but it was soon clear to him that the pain wouldn't lessen on its own. "Yeah, think so," he softly said.

A minute later the nurse from before came into the room. Steve could barely take the pounding in his head any longer. It felt like his head was being squeezed by a belt tightened around it. When the nurse asked him if he needed more pain medication, he only groaned his answer and hoped she would do something soon.

"Commander, give it a minute, you should feel better soon," she said as she injected the medication into his IV that Dr. Kiley had left orders for. "Call me if he doesn't feel better soon," he heard her say to his friends.

It took a couple of minutes until the pain receded into the background. Still hovering to come out again, but for now, it was bearable. The attack had left him exhausted and struggling to keep his eyes open. After another minute he gave up and surrendered to the beckoning darkness.

H50 – H50 – H50

Dr. Kiley looked at the scan in front of him and then turned to his colleague. "Thanks for coming, Ben."

"Sure, no problem. This your patient with the constant headache?" Dr. Ben Nelson asked and motioned to the scan they were now both studying.

"Yeah. We took the CT about half an hour ago. McGarrett complains about a constant headache with spikes of pain that almost knock him out. We have to keep him on a pretty high dose of pain medication to even make it bearable for him," Kiley explained the course of action of the last few days.

"Hmm. I don't really see anything on this," Nelson mumbled and stepped closer to the light-box with the film on it. "If this were a patient just coming in I would say the scan is inconclusive and would keep him for observation. You said he's been here seven days already?"

"Yeah. He came in a good seven days ago. He was more or less unconscious for 24 hours, and we diagnosed a mild concussion, broken wrist, lots of bruises."

"Here is a barely healed linear fracture," Nelson pointed to it on the scan. "When did that happen?"

"A little over two months ago. He still suffers from memory loss and cognitive impairment. The latter is his diagnosis, not ours. He said it takes him longer to grasp coherencies and complex proceedings. He passed all our tests with flying colors in that regard, but he insists his brain just doesn't work with the same speed as before."

"Patients have a very acute sense for such things, I would believe him about it."

"Oh, I do, it's just that we can't measure it because he passed all the tests."

"I see. So, he now is complaining about severe headaches?"

"Yes, and a constant headache we're not able to manage," Kiley explained. "But this is his second scan, and as far as I see there is nothing wrong. Well, except the still healing skull fracture, even though it looks really good."

"Yeah, I'd say he's pretty much healed. I don't see any bleeding or swelling. But to be honest the scan doesn't really rule it out either," Nelson said and took a really close look at one part of the scan. "Hmm, this doesn't really clear it up. How about an MRI? That's what I would recommend."

"That was my next thought. Any other idea why he suffers such headaches?"

"Could be psychological. People react to violence—"

"He's Commander McGarrett of Five-0. He was a SEAL before that. I doubt the fight with a suspect was what pushed him over the edge. I'm sure he has seen a lot worse in his career. He seems psychologically stable, and has been talking to Dr. Anson since the original injury," Kiley explained about his patient.

"Oh, okay. Still, if you can't find a physical reason in the MRI, I would classify this as caused by psychological trauma. Brain damage goes a long way in throwing off even the strongest individual."

"Thank you, Ben. Can I call you again when I have the pictures from the MRI?"

"Certainly," the specialist said and left Kiley alone with the mystery of what was causing his patient such pain and misery.

H50 – H50 – H50

"Commander, how are you?" Kiley asked as he stood next to Steve's bed.

Steve looked up and already knew that the latest test and MRI was also inconclusive, and didn't bring the answers they were looking for. "My head hurts," was what Steve felt was his standard answer for the last few days. He felt like no one believed him when he said that his head was still killing him. Even the pain reliever he was on could only make a dent in the agony that was constantly lurking in the background.

"Dr. Nelson and I took a look at your MRI, and we can't see any problem there either."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I do believe that you are experiencing pain, but we can't find a physical reason for it," Kiley tried to explain.

"You think I'm only imagining the pain?" Steve asked and touched his aching temple.

"No, but I believe you are the one that can stop it."

"So you think I'm crazy." Steve softly said it like a statement.

"Not crazy, Commander. You yourself said you felt like your brain didn't work like it used to. This might be another symptom."

"So, what are we doing about it?" Steve asked and tried to breathe through another bout of nausea and intense pain pulsing through his head.

"I would like to call Dr. Anson to have a talk with you," Kiley told Steve about his plan of action.

"Okay, " Steve agreed. "Please, can you give me something?" Steve felt bad for almost begging for the drugs, but after seven days of constant pain and nauseating intense bursts of pain he just didn't care anymore.

"Of course," Kiley said and a minute later Steve could feel the drug entering his system.

He knew it would take a few more minutes before the medication would really kick in. He could feel the lethargy taking over, a feeling that was always accompanied by the pain reliever. But at this point he didn't have the energy to fight it any longer. He just wanted the relief from the ungodly agony that had been a constant companion in the last few days.

H50 – H50 – H50

"Detective Williams, Lieutenant Rollins, a word?" Dr. Kiley called as he saw Steve's two friends going toward his patient's room.

"Dr. Kiley, is everything okay?" Catherine asked when they stood all together.

"Well, that is what I would like to discuss with you," Kiley said and motioned for them to follow him to his office on the same floor.

"Did something happen with Steve?" Danny now also asked in worry.

"Please have a seat," Dr. Kiley said after they had entered his office. He looked at the two people now sitting in front of his desk, and seeing their worried faces, he continued. "McGarrett is doing as well as can be expected. Physically."

"What do you mean by that? He seemed okay to me," Danny said.

"I know he seems that way, but believe me, that is not the case," Kiley tried to explain. "He has complained about severe headaches and dizziness all week. We did tests, but couldn't find anything wrong. So I called Dr. Anson, who is with him at the moment. I called him because I'm a little concerned."

"About what?" Catherine wondered aloud.

"The commander has been here for over a week now, and he hasn't asked even once when he will be released. That is not his normal behavior," Kiley further explained. "Dr. Anson worries that he might fall into a depression because everyone expects him to be someone that he's not. And might never be again."

"What?" Danny and Cath asked at the same time.

"We think McGarrett doesn't want to leave because this is a safe environment where no one expects anything from him. Going home would mean he would be back under the microscope."

"Wait a minute, you think Steve is clinically depressed?" Danny asked about what he just realized the doctor might have told them.

"No. He is not. We are just concerned that he might head in that direction, and we think it best to intervene early on," Kiley further explained. "Since McGarrett is willing to talk to Dr. Anson I thought it would be a good idea to get him into the boat, so to speak. Maybe he can figure out why he is experiencing the headaches and doesn't want to go home."

"Okay. So, you think Steve hasn't asked about leaving the hospital because he doesn't want to go home?" Catherine asked. "That doesn't sound like Steve at all. If he complains about pain, it must be bad or he wouldn't say anything." she said with conviction. "I think there might be a different reason for it."

"And that would be?" Dr. Kiley was now curious.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**Steve McGarrett's room**_

"Steve, how are you?" Dr. Anson asked as he entered his patient's room.

Steve looked up and squinted at the psychiatrist. His vision was blurry again, and the sun coming through the windows hurt his eyes. He had closed the blinds a few times, but every time someone came into the room they were opened again. He had now given up on closing them.

"Okay, I guess," Steve answered and was glad that the doctor's visits were always very informal.

"Do you want me to close the blinds?" Anson didn't even wait for an answer, but turned the blinds so that the sun wasn't as blinding anymore.

"Thank you."

"Sure, no problem." Anson smiled as he pulled the chair next to the bed. "So, I heard you've been here for over a week now?"

"Yeah. Eight days."

"Pretty long for a mild concussion."

"Hmm."

"You broke your arm?" Anson motioned to the now casted right arm.

"It's more my wrist than my arm. But yeah, it's a fracture. I also have a couple of bruised ribs and my right knee is a bit messed up from a low kick. But I'm sure you already know all that," Steve added.

"Yeah," Anson sighed. "I read the medical report. You got away lucky."

"People keep telling me that," Steve mumbled.

"You disagree?"

"Can't really see the lucky part," Steve grumbled and winced when his knee sent a twinge up his leg when he moved into a more comfortable position.

"You could be brain damaged-" Anson started.

"I _**am**_ brain damaged," Steve interrupted. "In case you didn't know, memory loss is a form of brain damage. I read up on that," Steve clarified. "It's classified as brain damage mostly after a traumatic event, either of a psychological nature or of physical trauma. See, read up on it," Steve told his therapist.

"So you did," Anson told Steve with a smile. "Did you also read that a hit to the head with a still healing skull fracture can lead to serious brain damage? That the patients often end up in a vegetative state?"

"Yeah," Steve softly acknowledged.

"You don't seem very vegetative to me," Anson said and tried to lighten the mood.

Steve only made a snorting sound at that, but did crack a small smile. "They have strict rules about visiting hours here," Steve suddenly said.

"What?"

"That's the answer to your next question," Steve calmly answered.

"Oh, you're a mind reader now. That's a pretty cool side effect from a cracked skull."

"Funny." Steve now grinned at Anson. "Your next question will be why I'm still here."

"Huh. And your answer to that is 'they have strict rules about visitations'?" Anson wondered. "I'm sorry, but I can't follow that logic."

"The time I'm allowed to have any visitors is pretty limited."

"Yes, that is what the rules are about."

"That means, I have a lot of time to myself," Steve elaborated.

"And you wouldn't have that at home?"

"They would organize 24-hour-supervision. Trust me, those people are nuts," Steve said, but did so with a smile.

"With 'those people' you mean Lieutenant Rollins and Detective Williams?"

"Not Catherine. She's worried, but she's not watching my every move. Williams is the one who's driving me crazy," Steve admitted. "I mean, I get it. Catherine I know from before, so she hasn't lost that much. But Williams I can't remember from before, and he's suddenly stuck with 'me'. This," Steve waved his left hand to encompass his body, "in his eyes, an empty person."

"Steve, that is not what Danny thinks of you," Anson intervened.

"Sure it is. He thinks I'm broken; not whole anymore. Damaged goods. And I understand that. This case actually made me realize something. And I don't know how to tell them. That's why I'm still here. I'm hiding to keep from talking to them." Steve was glad that he finally had the opportunity to tell someone why he dreaded leaving the hospital so much.

H50 - H50 - H50


	10. Chapter 10

_**I wish you all a wonderful start into the new year. May it be full of love, happiness and good health.**_

_**Thank you, Cokie! You did an amazing job on this one.**_

* * *

**All Clear - Chapter 10**

"And can I ask what your decision is?" Anson asked after a short pause.

Steve took a deep breath and then looked at the doctor. "I'm going to quit Five-0, but I'm also not going back to active duty."

"What? I thought the decision was between Five-0 and the Navy?" The psychiatrist asked in confusion. This was news to him; Steve had never mentioned a third option.

"Not anymore," Steve explained. "Look, I can't be sure what I've really forgotten. I think the memory loss is not as selective as I first thought. I also have small gaps from before I came back to Hawaii. What if I forgot something really important? I can't risk going back to being a SEAL on a mission while having memory loss. That would be irresponsible." _They won't let me back into the field anyway_, Steve thought, but kept that little piece of information to himself.

"That is why you want to give up on your career? But why leave Five-0?"

"I came to the conclusion that it would be best to start completely new, a different location, a different job. Everything I would encounter then would be new."

"What about your girlfriend?" Anson asked the important question.

"I want to ask Catherine if she would come with me. I will even let her chose where to go," Steve told his therapist.

Anson raised his eyebrow at that. "What if she doesn't want to leave?"

If Steve was honest he didn't have an answer for that scenario. He just hoped she would be willing to go with him. "I don't know," Steve softly said.

"And what have you planned on doing? I mean for work?"

"I have a few offers on the table," Steve told him about the opportunities. "San Diego seems a nice alternative to Hawaii," he added.

"I'm sure there are a few very nice places to work, but frankly I don't quite understand the need to move away from here. You have a lot of friends here. Really good friends, they are like family—"

"Not to me, they're not," Steve interrupted. "Look, I know we were really close, but that changed the day I was knocked out. I… I wish it was different, but I…"

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a coward," Anson bluntly said.

"What?"

"You heard me. I think you are running from your feelings, Commander," Anson continued. "I think you're developing a strong bond with Detective Williams, his daughter and with Chin. And that scares and confuses you."

"Why would I be scared of that?" Steve blurted out. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Yeah."

"Let me go out on a limb here and say that you had a friend like Williams and you lost him?" Not receiving an answer he continued. "I think the level of trust you have already put into Williams confuses you, and the prospect of having such deep feelings for both he and his daughter scares you."

"That doesn't make any sense," Steve stubbornly said.

"I think it makes perfect sense, and according to your face, that is exactly the reason why you want to leave."

Steve only stared at Anson and wondered if his words were true. He sighed heavily then finally admitted, "I feel like I'm endangering them all with the holes in my memory. What if I forgot something really important, and make decisions without having all the facts?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Steve said exasperated.

"Uh huh. Want to know what I think?"

"You're telling me regardless," Steve grumbled.

Anson smiled at his patient's mood. "I think these are just excuses to not let them into your life. Steve, open up. Just let it happen. Make them part of your life again. They were a huge part, and now they are missing it, and you are, too."

"They don't accept who I am," Steve said with a low voice. "They reject this new me. They want the old Steve back, but I can't give them that," Steve told Anson sadly.

"I know they have put a lot of pressure on you. If you want I could talk to them about it. Think about it," Anson offered his help. "But, Steve, please don't forget they don't mean any harm, and they aren't rejecting you. They just wish _**you**_ could remember all the good things that have happened to you since you've been back."

"Lots of bad stuff also happened. At least according to the files I've read."

"Yeah, but the good personal stuff is not in any files. And that is what their regret is about and they want you to have it back," Anson explained.

"What if I never remember any more than I do now?"

"They will learn to accept it, just like you have learned to live with it," Anson assured Steve.

"You think they will accept me, even if I can't remember them?" Steve asked in hope.

"Yes. I have no doubt. In fact, I believe they already have. Steve, they also need time to accept the new situation. It's hard for them to see you in such emotional pain and confusion. They only want to help. Not always in the best way, but they mean well."

Steve snorted at that. "Their 'helping' is pretty overwhelming," he admitted.

"I know," Anson said with laughter in his voice. "Handling Williams is not always easy."

"You have no idea," Steve said with a smile that turned into a frown when the room suddenly tilted. "Sorry… I don't... suddenly feel so good,"" he said and worried when his vision grayed at the edges. "Somethin's not right," Steve mumbled and closed his eyes against the onslaught of pain. It assaulted him with an intensity he hadn't experienced before.

"Steve? Steve, what's wrong?" Anson had stood up and leaned over the man on the bed, who had turned as white as a sheet.

"Don't know… head hurts bad… dizzy... some's wrong," Steve slurred and felt his consciousness slipping. He tried to grasp the voice that was still talking, but failed. A few seconds later he lost the battle to stay conscious.

H50 - H50 - H50

"Dr. Anson, what happened?" Dr. Steve Kiley asked as he entered Steve's hospital room after he had been called by one of the nurses.

"We were talking and he suddenly lost all color, complained about severe pain, his speech was slurred and a moment later he passed out. I couldn't rouse him again," Anson explained and made room for the neurosurgeon.

Kiley ignored Williams and Catherine who had followed him in worry when the nurse had called him. He leaned over his patient and tried to wake him. "McGarrett, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me," Kiley said and grabbed Steve left hand.

Kiley waited a moment but nothing happened, Steve stayed unresponsive. Next Kiley tested Steve's response to pain stimuli, but also without any luck. Lastly he checked his pupils.

All the tests didn't take any longer than thirty seconds until Kiley decided on the next course of action. "Get him up to the MRI right now, and prepare an OR," the doctor said and at the same time went to the wall phone and called the specialist to meet him at the MRI.

"Dr. Kiley, what happened? What's wrong with Steve?" Catherine called out but was ignored when they all looked back at Steve.

"Shit," Kiley called out and went back to attend to his now seizing patient. "Forget the MRI, we need to get him to the OR STAT."

Cath and Danny watched in growing horror while their friend was in the middle of a violent seizure. They could only stay back and watch the professionals help Steve. Drugs were administered and shortly after Steve stopped seizing, but that brought on even more activity and, in their eyes, frantic chaos.

"He's not breathing... intubate now... alright... get him up," Kiley called and helped transfer Steve to the gurney next to his bed.

A nurse was bagging air into his lungs, while another readied him for transport.

"Dr. Kiley! Please!" Catherine again tried her luck watching Steve disappear down the hallway.

"Go to the ICU waiting room, I'll meet you there as soon as I know more," Kiley said and hurried out of the room. Leaving behind two disturbed people standing in an empty room.

One minute their best friend had been fine and the next he wasn't even breathing on his own. They slowly made their way out of the room to go to the ICU as they were told. To wait for word on their obviously critically ill friend and partner.

H50 - H50 - H50

"I don't understand this. How could this have happened?" Catherine asked and was understandably beside herself.

"I assure you we did all we could to prevent this," Dr. Kiley started to say.

"Oh yeah?" Danny interrupted him. "Our friend is in a coma because he has been bleeding in his brain for the last week! How the hell could you miss that?" Danny yelled at the neurosurgeon.

"The commander has something that is called chronic subdural hematoma," Dr. Kiley explained and chose to not to comment on Danny's outburst. "That can happen days, or even weeks after the initial injury. Steve had a tiny bleed that was not detectable on the MRI or CT. Even the TCD didn't show anything out of the norm."

"What's a TCD?" Cath wanted to know.

"It's a non-invasive procedure used to measure the intracranial pressure. It has been well in the normal range during the last week," Kiley told her. "During the emergency surgery we drilled a tiny hole into his skull and inserted a catheter that is used to measure the intracranial pressure. And it was used to drain the blood out."

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?"

"There had been no reason to do this invasive procedure, Detective. It's a risky operation, but now it has saved his life," Kiley further explained what they had done in the OR. "It is unfortunate, but with a serious traumatic brain injury like McGarrett had suffered two months ago along with the reinjury just a week ago, he was at a high risk for this to happen."

"But he was fine," Danny said. "He was running around and had no problems, well, except his memory, but..."

"McGarrett appeared to be fine, yes. But that doesn't mean anything with an injury like this." Kiley tried to explain. "I told you in the beginning that complications could always arise at a later date. McGarrett's TBI is serious, and it can cause any kind of damage. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it is not looking good at the moment."

Both Danny and Cath turned to look through the glass wall that separated them from their friend. From their unconscious friend who was again in the ICU after he had passed out five hours ago. They were both concerned to see Steve on a ventilator and with many tubes and cables attached to him. They could clearly see that a patch of hair had been shaved and the tube coming out of his skull, only covered with a bit of gauze.

"Why is he in a neck brace?" Danny asked after seeing the immobilizing device.

"To minimize the head-movement. It is very important to keep the head as still as possible."

"We thought he was getting better," Cath softly said. "He felt good and was hoping to be cleared for full duty soon… but that was before he was hit again."

"I know," Kiley said. "And he was doing rather well. He still had some cognitive problems." Seeing the surprise on Steve's friends' faces he paused for a moment.

"Cognitive problems? Steve seemed normal to me," Danny said.

"McGarrett had complained to Dr. Anson and to me that his brain felt 'wrong', that it was not working at the speed he was used to. He said he had problems grasping complex coherencies; he said he needed more time to 'see the big picture' as he called it," Kiley explained. "He also said he struggled to understand Mandarin, which he spoke fluently before the hit. He complained that he had trouble focusing on just one task, his thoughts often wandered. And he said his handwriting looked different and also felt kind of wrong."

"That's true, his handwriting has been a bit sloppy since he's been back at the office," Danny provided.

"Yes, but most of all it bothered him that he took most of what was said at face value. He really struggled with your, what he had now learned _**was**_ your 'normal' banter. He felt like he was constantly being attacked by you," Kiley told Danny in the hope to make them understand their friend better. "It is perfectly normal for a person with such a serious TBI to feel vulnerable and not behave like they used to."

"Why didn't he say anything?" Danny wanted to know.

"He didn't realize it was your normal behavior and that he had enjoyed it before. He told me that watching the talk show made him realize how very different he had become."

"But he's still Steve," Danny said.

"I have the feeling you didn't convey that very well to him. Your efforts to make him remember only fueled his feelings of being rejected," Kiley explained further. "This emotional stress added to his condition."

"We didn't mean for him to feel like that," Cath softly said.

"NO, don't even go there. It is not your fault in any way. You all behaved and reacted to his injury in a completely normal way. Just like Steve is reacting in total normal parameters."

"Parameters?" Danny asked.

"Yes. Of course, every injury is different, just like every patient is different. But there are certain traits we find in every TBI victim," Kiley tried to explain it in simple terms. "Steve acts very well within those parameters. His behavior is nothing out of the ordinary. You must understand, a brain injury like Steve suffered throws the victim for a loop. Nothing is like it was before. Everything seems new and strange to them. Many have to learn simple things completely anew. Steve was lucky only to have to struggle with very mild effects from his injury."

"Mild effects? You've got to be kidding me," Danny called out.

"Danny, believe me, his memory loss and mild cognitive impairment is no big deal in the scheme of things." Kiley had to smile at the little outburst. "Such a hard hit to the head like Steve received is generally either fatal or leaves the victim with severe brain damage. That Steve didn't suffer a massive bleed or swelling two months ago is a miracle in itself. That he survived is a miracle, you always have to remember how incredibly lucky he had been."

"And now his luck has run out?" Cath had to ask.

"I can't give you an answer to that at this point. We have to wait and see. The rise in pressure is under control at the moment. What kind of damage he has suffered cannot be determined immediately; we have to wait until he wakes up. It can range from nothing to massive brain damage." Kiley explained.

"When will he wake up?"

Kiley looked at Danny and shook his head. "I don't know. I'm sorry, but I can't say when he will wake up..." he paused, then added quietly, "or if."

H50 - H50 - H50

It wasn't even five in the morning when Cath received the call from the hospital requesting that she come there immediately. She was up and grabbling clothes before the call was finished. As soon as she had hung up, she had called Danny, and now at five-thirty-five they again stood in the ICU waiting for Dr. Kiley.

"Did they say what was going on?" Danny asked as he tried to take a look into Steve's cubicle. But the vertical blinds were closed and they couldn't see anything.

"No. Only that I should come here right away," Cath answered nervously and also looked around.

They had been asked to wait at the nurses' station, and that Dr. Kiley would be with them in a moment. They could see that there was no hectic activity around any of the ICU beds, so they took that as a good sign. Danny had tried asking the night nurse why they were called but she had shook her head and told them they must wait for the doctor to come see them.

"Maybe Steve woke up?" Danny tried his luck again.

"I don't know, Danny. Maybe, but Kiley told us it was unlikely that he would wake up so shortly after the surgery. It hasn't even been twelve hours," Cath said. "Why didn't he let us stay anyway? I mean, why not let us stay with Steve? What harm would that do?" Cath was still upset about being told they couldn't stay in the ICU with Steve.

"It's their policy," Danny grumbled. He wasn't any happier about it than Cath.

"Policy my ass," Cath said and regretted it when a nurse looked up from her place behind the desk. "Sorry," she added and breathed a sigh of relief when the nurse smiled at her. She was probably used to worried and pissed off family members.

Before Danny could add anything, Drs. Kiley and Nelson came their way.

"Catherine, Danny, thank you for coming so quickly. This is Dr. Nelson, he's our specialist for cases like Steve's," Dr. Kiley introduced Ben Nelson. "I had consulted with Dr. Nelson earlier and would like to keep him involved in Steve's care."

"Of course," Cath answered and shook the offered hand. "How is Steve? Has there been any change?"

"Yes, surprisingly, we think he is waking up. We hope that familiar voices might help him along," Nelson said and motioned for Danny and Cath to follow him.

They cautiously entered the cubicle in which Steve still lay since his operation. The biggest change was that he was not on a ventilator. But the neck brace was still in place.

"He started spontaneous breathing two hours ago," Kiley explained the lack of the machine that had breathed for Steve for over ten hours.

"That's a good sign, right?" Danny asked and stepped closer to the bed and almost jumped out of his skin when he looked at his friend.

Danny smiled at his partner. Steve's eyes were open and his gaze was directed at him. "Steve? Hey, Buddy, how're you feeling?" Danny asked, but there was no response. Taking a closer look, Danny could see that Steve's gaze was completely unfocused and empty. A horrible thought immediately popped into his head… something he and his brother had joked about back when they had been young and very dumb… "_the lights are on, but no one is home." _

H50 - H50 - H50

* * *

Everyone who knows my stories knew this was coming. I wouldn't let Steve get away from such a serious injury without any repercussions. Sorry, but that's just not happening in real life. No matter how much everyone wants the old Steve back, I think those chances are not looking too good. Or might this happening be a good thing in some twisted kind of way? You never know with a TBI, everything is possible. But remember, I don't write miracle stories.

See you next year, and with a bit of luck the next chapter might have some Steve in it. Or not. LOL

Thank you all so much for reading and sticking with this one-shot. ;-)

Again, big thanks to Cokie. I mean, it's her fault this story is getting so long, the least she can do is work toward **_her_** wish for Steve. Yeah, she still believes in miracles. Can you believe it? Knowing me for so long, and still not giving up hope. Man, I admire her. :-)


	11. Chapter 11

_**I'm sorry, I tried to post on Monday, but FFnet wouldn't let me in. **_

_**Again big thanks to Cokie316 who contributed a part to this chapter. It's the second one in italic, you will know what I'm talking about when you get to it. ;-)**_

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**All Clear - Chapter 11 **

_**Friday - ICU - Queens Medical Center - 0630 hours**_

Danny smiled at his partner. Steve's eyes were open and his gaze was directed at him. "Steve? Hey, Buddy, how're you feeling?" Danny asked, but there was no response. Taking a closer look, Danny could see that Steve's gaze was completely unfocused and empty. A horrible thought immediately popped into his head… something he and his brother had joked about back when they had been young and very dumb… "the lights are on, but no one is at home."

"He's been like this for about an hour. At the moment he's a seven on the coma scale, which is a lot better than just a few hours ago," Nelson told them.

Cath finally took her eyes off Steve's face and focused on what the doctor was saying. "What does that really mean?" She wanted to know. She had heard about the scale before, but didn't really know what it meant.

"Well, the scale is a method of measuring a person's state of consciousness. There are other scales, but the most commonly used is the Glasgow Coma Scale, which we use. In that one, the scores range from 3 to 15," Dr. Nelson explained. "There are three things to consider; e_ye opening_, _verbal response_ and _motor response_. Now, if a person has a one in each of those sections, for a total of three points, it means he is in a deep coma... or even brain dead. Three means no response at all. Steve here is currently a seven; he opens his eyes to pain which makes him a two in that part. He does not response verbally, which is only a one. But in the motor response category, he's a four, because he withdraws from pain."

"So, that's not too bad, right?" Cath hopefully asked, but saw only concern on the doctors' faces. In a quieter voice, she added, "It's bad?"

"Basically he is only reacting to pain stimuli. We are pretty sure he's not able to comprehend what is happening. We can't get him to react to any commands, neither verbally nor with any motor functions, like squeezing a hand."

"So, he's not awake?" Cath wondered. "You think this shows that he's brain damaged," Catherine concluded with a soft voice.

Danny and Cath watched as the doctors made eye contact with each other and could see that they had come to that conclusion, but were not willing to give up yet.

"We think he might need some encouragement," Nelson explained, "and we believe you two can get through to him. It's a long shot, and we don't know if it will work, but we think it's worth a try. In a few hours, we will perform more tests, but for right now, we would like for you to talk to him. Coax him back. Most people, even in a coma, could remember hearing something while being out. He might hear you."

"You want us to guide him back?" Danny asked.

"Yes, you could say that."

"We can do that," Danny said with conviction and pulled a chair next to his friend's bed.

"Absolutely," Catherine chimed in and took the place to Steve's left. "We will get him to wake up." Taking his slack hand into hers, she was determined to bring her friend, her lover, out of his unconscious state.

"Good," Nelson said with a smile on his face.

The two doctors left knowing that what they were trying was indeed a long shot, but also knew that the two people in the room would not give up. But no matter how hard they wished it, ultimately it was out of their hands. It was surely in McGarrett's favor that there was no swelling of the brain involved, and that he had a strong support group. It also helped that he was in great shape, but even with all this on the plus side, the fact remained that he had a hard fight in front of him.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**Friday - ICU - Queens Medical Center - 1300 hours**_

Danny and Cath had sat next to Steve's bed for a little over six hours, all the time trying to get their friend to wake up. They were talking to him in low voices. Telling him about everything and nothing. But all that was happening was that Steve opened and closed his eyes seemingly at random.

"What's happening?" Catherine suddenly called out and was next to her friend in a flash.

Steve lay still but suddenly made a gurgling sound, like he was choking...

"_LT! What are you doing?"_

"_What?" Lieutenant McGarrett looked at his chief and then at his men, hunkering down behind a low wall. "What?" Steve repeated._

"_What are you doing?" Chief Petty Officer Robert Conrad, yeah just like the actor from way back when, asked again. "You okay?"_

"_I'm fine," was the automatic answer, even though Steve wasn't really sure about that. _

"_I think you got your bell rung a bit harder than we thought, LT. You just totally spaced out on us," Conny told him._

"_Nah, I'm okay," Steve said and touched the back of his head where he knew he would find a tender spot from when he had hit the deck about an hour ago. He now remembered what had happened, the explosion and how his men had taken cover after their position had been compromised. "What's the situation?"_

_His chief looked a little strangely at him, but Steve chose to ignore it. "We had contact with base thirty minutes ago, pick-up should be in ten," Conny informed him._

"_Good," Steve said and tried blinking away the dots swimming in his peripheral vision. The left side of his head hurt, and he wondered why that was. The back of his head should hurt, not his left temple. "Let's move closer to the extraction point." Steve stood up, or at least tried to, but the right side of his body felt numb._

_Steve looked down at his arm that hung pretty useless at his side. He tried to lift it but only managed to weakly raise his hand off the ground. "What the..."_

"_LT, cover us," he heard his chief yelling and ducked further down when bullets flew by his head. He again tried to raise his arm with the gun still in hand, but couldn't manage that task, nor did he have the ability to fire his gun._

_Steve watched in horror as the insurgents stormed over the small square, coming very close to their position. He heard his team firing at them, and yelling for him to fire his damn gun, but none of the bullets found a target. The insurgents were almost upon them when his chief took a bullet right between his eyes. Conrad fell down and stared with dead eyes at Steve, the accusation and confusion evident in them._

_One by one his team fell victim to the enemy fire. Steve watched helplessly how his team was expunged. He tried to crawl to one of his men who was laying in the dust, still breathing, but exposed and without cover. Steve tried to get to him, but his right side wouldn't obey. He was stuck and could only watch as a second salvo tore into his man and killed him._

_Steve screamed in horror and frustration, and a moment later a dark figure stood over him. A gun was pointed at him as more men gathered around. Looking at Steve in what he knew was disgust and anger. He knew those people but couldn't place them._

"_This is your fault," one of them said before he pulled the trigger and a bullet tore into Steve's stomach. _

_Steve gasped in pain and shock. He looked down at the bloody mess, the pain tearing him apart was unbearable and he looked up at the man in front of him. Unable to speak he just stared and almost welcomed the second bullet that hit him high up in his chest. It made breathing incredible difficult. Steve coughed up bubbles of blood and was not getting any air in. He panicked and almost forgot the pain raging through his body. Steve choked on the blood and another coughing fit brought an onslaught of pain that he was not able to handle. _

_He slowly slouched down against the wall and felt the life drain out of him. He took one last look at the men standing around him before his eyes slowly closed. Steve exhaled one last time with bubbly blood trickling down his chin before his heart stopped bumping. Steven McGarrett was dead. _

Alarm bells went off and a second later a nurse hurried into the cubicle, followed by a young intern.

"Please step back," the young doctor, who they had seen a few times in the last hours asked and tended to Steve immediately.

They watched him turn on one of the small devices that stood next to the ventilator that was thankfully not in use at the moment. He then took a bluish plastic catheter out of a sealed bag and attached it to one of the tubes coming out of the device.

"What are you doing?" Catherine asked.

"We need to clear his airways of secretion. We use this catheter to suck all that stuff out. Don't worry this is routine and will happen regularly as long as he's in this state," the doctor explained and was already inserting the blue device that looked like a bent straw into Steve's mouth.

Danny and Catherine both grimaced at the sucking noise they heard when the 'straw' reached the secretion. It sounded horrible, but other than to gag once, Steve didn't react to it at all.

It didn't take longer than a few seconds until the doctor pulled the catheter out and disposed it in the wastebasket. They could hear that Steve's breathing had improved and that he was once again resting peacefully.

They watched the nurse check all the attached equipment and making notes in the chart. After obviously being satisfied with everything she left.

"Don't worry, Commander McGarrett is holding his own at the moment. This is nothing out of the ordinary," Dr. Quinlan explained. "He is stable right now and his ICP is at 12 mmHG. That is very good."

"MMHG? What does that mean?" Danny asked.

"That is just the unit the intracranial pressure is measured in. It means millimeter in mercury. It's really not important how that works, the important thing is that 12 is very good and completely normal," Quinlan tried to assure them. "Your friend is very lucky that the hit to the head didn't cause any swelling of the brain, and the bleeding could be stopped and it didn't seem to have compromised his brain too much."

"Then why isn't he waking up?"

"Detective, I'm sure Dr. Nelson explained that to you already? We can't predict how a brain reacts to such trauma."

Dr. Quinlan finished with Steve and left the two alone with their still unresponsive friend.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**Friday - ICU - Queens Medical Center - 1330 hours**_

"Cath, I have to go check in with Chin at the office," Danny said as he slowly stood up from the chair he had occupied the last hours.

"I know, Danny. Don't worry, I will keep watch. Will you come back later?"

"Of course. And I'm sure Chin will also want to sit with him for a few hours," Danny told her. "Maybe we can work out a schedule or something, so Steve won't be alone when he wakes up."

Catherine looked at Danny with sadness in her eyes. She loved him for always talking like there was no doubt that Steve would wake up soon. She too hoped that Steve would wake up any minute now, and she truly believed it in her heart that he would pull through. But it was really good to hear it from Danny with such conviction.

"Thank you, Danny," she softly said.

"For what?" Danny asked with confusion on his face.

"For being such a good friend, not just to Steve but also to me. Thank you."

"Ah... well... I... I... need to go. I'll be back, okay?" Danny said and blushed a little, obviously not used to such praise.

"I'll call if something changes," Catherine promised and watched Danny leave.

Catherine turned back to the man in the bed and took in the sight in front of her. Up until now she hadn't really realized what was truly going on with the man she called not only her best friend but also the man she loved.

Steve lay in his bed with his head elevated at a thirty degree angle, with his legs equally raised and bent at the knees. The position looked rather comfortable, of course Cath knew Steve wouldn't know either way.

She looked at all the tubes and wires attached to the tall man. There were a few cables leading to the heart monitor; the cuff around his biceps that inflated every few minutes to monitor his blood pressure; the ox pulse meter to measure Steve's oxygenation; the obligatory IV lines and the nasal canula that was placed when they took off the oxygen mask about an hour ago. She could also see a half full urine collecting bag hanging on the right sight of the bed.

Cath didn't want to think where that tube led to. Steve would hate that the most. He would accept all the other attachments as necessary, but he always fought tooth and nail not to be stuck with a Foley catheter. But this time he had no choice and no say in the matter.

So far Steve had no feeding tube, but Cath knew they would soon ask her consent to insert the NG-tube, so Steve would get the nutrition he needed. Steve could not make any decisions on his own, so it was up to her to decide what was best for him. They had talked about a scenario like this, and she knew his wishes. But they were by far not at a hopeless state, so that was not something she would even think about at this moment.

Right now she only had to be there for her friend, who hopefully was trying to find his way back. She looked up to Steve's face just in time to see his eyes opening again.

Catherine watched him very carefully, but it was soon clear that his eyes could still not focus. She wondered if they would even see anything.

H50 - H50 - H50

_Steve killed the lights in the bedroom and carefully opened the door to the upstairs lanai, slipping through it. He had heard voices outside and saw shadowy movement of bodies converging on the house. Faintly, he heard the glass break in the door downstairs and knew there had been a breach._

_He kept his back against the house while silently moving to the corner of the lanai. He counted at least three figures outside and knew there was at least one in the house below him. The odds weren't in his favor but he did have the element of surprise on his side._

_Or not._

"_Hey, I've got 'im," a voice yelled from below. In the next instant, a bullet whizzed by his left ear and embedded in the wall behind him. Before he could get off a shot, more weapons were fired in his direction._

_Steve dove flat on the lanai and began blindly firing back. He knew he had hit a couple of marks when he heard sounds of grunted pain from below. Suddenly all firing ceased and he lay there, listening to the silence. Before he could get up, a black clad figure eased out of his bedroom door. Steve fired just as the gun in the perp's hand was raised. The person fell back against the railing and then flipped over the side. Steve heard the dull thud as the body hit the ground below._

_He got to his feet, amazed that other than lack of hearing in his left ear, he was unscathed. He carefully made his way downstairs in stealth mode, checking for more surprise visitors. Seeing none, he carefully eased around the glass on the floor and out the opened door._

_Keeping his gun drawn, he moved along the lanai to check the person who had fallen off the balcony. The man was lying on his stomach and it was obvious his neck was broken. Steve glanced around for the man's weapon and didn't readily see it, so he walked around the body to check the man's identity. What he saw made his blood run cold._

"_Chin?" Steve whispered. "What? Oh, my god… no." Steve dropped to his knees and checked for a pulse, finding none. "Where's the gun? The person on the balcony had a weapon." He frantically looked around, but didn't find it. _

_The second intruder, or intruders, looked to be a mass of tangled arms and legs beneath one of the palm trees. Carefully keeping watch for more perps, Steve made his way in that direction, noticing the brown loafers before seeing anything else. He swallowed back the bile in his throat and moved closer. _

"_Dan—" Steve stared, not able to comprehend what had transpired. His partner was lying on top of another body and Steve walked around to see…_

_Danny was shielding Grace's defenseless body beneath him. Blood leaked from three neat bullet holes in his partner's back and covered his dress shirt, spreading to the ground below. The look of panic still showed on Danny's face, and Steve suddenly realized why. The second body, which was beneath Danny's was Grace, whose sightless brown eyes stared accusingly at Steve._

"_No, no, no," he moaned, seeing another body near the chairs at the edge of the yard. By now in near panic mode, he raced in that direction and dropped to his knees. Catherine stared back at him and it took a moment before he realized she was alive!_

"_Thank God, Cath. Don't worry, I've got you." There was blood pooling beneath her head although he couldn't see its source. "Cath, I'll get help."_

"_No," she whispered and he had to move closer to hear her voice. "No help. You… you killed me, Steve."_

_He could do nothing but stare at her, tears in his eyes. He had no answers. He wasn't the one who had started firing. But he knew, deep down, that this was all his fault. It was always his fault._

_Catherine swallowed and tried to speak again. He heard only one word before her eyes lost what little focus they had… _

"_Why?"_

H50 - H50 - H50

Catherine looked up from her book when again an alarm started beeping. She couldn't see what machine sent out that loud tone, but it was clear that Steve was in distress.

A minute ago he had been completely still and was breathing evenly and looked like he was just asleep. Now she was seeing the total opposite.

Steve's breath came in small gasps, like he was unable to draw in air. His whole body was trembling, not unlike a seizure. His face was contoured in, what Cath could only describe as complete anguish. Cold sweat covered his skin.

Nurses raced into the room. "He's going into shock," one of the nurses said as soon as a second alarm went off.

The young doctor from before came into the room a moment later, took one look at his patient and called for medication that was brought to him almost instantly. A nurse gave the syringe to Quinlan and he injected it into the IV-port.

Seconds later the first alarm stopped and the second one also quieted down a moment later.

"Please call Dr. Nelson. I would like him to take a look at him," Dr. Quinlan told one of the nurses.

"What's going on? Is Steve okay?" Catherine asked.

"I'm not sure, but I think your friend is dreaming."

"Dreaming?"

"I think he's having nightmares. I believe he is much more aware than we think. But Dr. Nelson will determine that when he takes another look at him."

"Is this a good sign?" Catherine asked hopefully.

"It depends on if he can find his way out of that 'dream-world'. I think his mind is trapped in not such a nice place at the moment."

Catherine looked from the doctor to her friend and wondered what kind of horrors he was just living through.

H50 - H50 - H50


	12. Chapter 12

_**Before you start reading this chapter you should take a look at this new writer's profile. Check it out: **_**whump-2-go  
**(linking is not working, so please just search for it)**  
**

_**Their first story will be posted tomorrow. **_**:-)**

* * *

**All Clear - Chapter 12**

_**Thursday the following week - Queens Medical Center - neuroscience wing - 0830 hours **_

"Five days, Catherine," Danny said in frustration as they again were told to wait outside Steve's room while the nurses tended to his needs. That, and during his physical therapy were the only times one of them wasn't with him.

Every few hours they had to leave the hospital room, or during the first four days the ICU cubicle, while the nurses tended to Steve's basic needs. Like emptying the urine collection bag, checking him for sore spots and tending to other basics Danny didn't even want to think about.

Only when one suddenly wasn't able to perform such basic things, it became clear how we take it for granted to use the bathroom on our own, or to take a shower, or brush our teeth. But Steve couldn't do any of that at the moment; he was completely dependent on others for all hygienic basics.

"Danny, he _**is**_ improving," Catherine tried to assure her friend. "They removed the catheter last night and said his intracranial pressure hadn't fluctuated at all after they had stopped the bleeding almost a week ago."

"Yeah, but he's still not 'in there', Catherine. Why isn't he awake?" Danny thought back to what the doctor had said after they had removed the device that had been measuring the pressure on Steve's brain. "After the MRI, the doc said there was no direct injury to the brain. If it isn't injured, why isn't he waking up?"

"I don't know," Cath whispered. "Nelson said even without a direct injury, it still suffered huge trauma. Danny, I don't know, maybe his brain simply shut down to protect Steve. Hell, I don't know," Catherine said with a raising voice.

"Hey, calm down," Danny said, smiling and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze of assurance. "It was a rhetorical question, you know!"

"I know, Danny. I'm sorry."

"Hey, nothing to be sorry about. We're all on edge. I mean, he's been sleeping the days away, and would probably have a field day with us worrying like this."

Catherine had to smile at that. "He wouldn't want us to hang around the hospital like this."

"Yeah, he's one to talk," Danny grumbled. "As if he wouldn't sit next to your bed 24/7."

Catherine smiled at that; it was probably true. He would only leave after they kicked him out. If even then.

"You can go back in now," Lisa Raven, Rave as she liked to be called, told them as she came out of Steve's room.

"Thanks, Rave," Catherine told the nurse she had taken an instant liking to when they were introduced yesterday. She was Steve's primary care nurse. This wing only housed patients with more or less serious TBIs, and each of them was assigned a nurse.

Of course Rave also tended to other patients, none of the injured had the luxury of a nurse of his or her own, but Nurse Raven was the go-to-guy for Steve's friends and relatives. Cath thought it was a very good pilot project; there was always a person who had all the information. It felt good to have someone to talk to and get informative answers.

"Oh, before I forget, Steve's therapist called and asked for one of you to be present when he comes for the next session," Lisa Raven told Danny and Catherine. "He'll be here in the next two hours."

"Thanks, we'll be here," Danny said and wondered what he had to tell them.

Catherine and Danny entered the room a second time this morning, and took their places next to Steve's bed. Cath again on his left, so she could hold his hand, while Danny sat on Steve's right with the casted arm.

"Hey, Buddy, you're looking good," Danny told his friend. And he really meant it.

Steve looked relaxed, the bruises on his face were discolored but barely swollen anymore. The abrasion on his cheek not as pronounced anymore. He was clean shaven and even his natural color had come back. The only thing out of place was the thin tube going into his nose, feeding him with the nutrition he needed.

"You know, it was actually Chin's turn to sit and entertain you, but he had an errand to run this morning. So, you will have to put up with us for now," Danny told him about why Chin was not here. Not that Steve would complain about it either way, but they tried to keep up a normal conversation. It was more like a monologue, but they tried their best. "Well, I will also leave in a little while, but Cath will stay with you until later this afternoon."

"Yeah, and I finally found that book you were in the middle of reading, so we will be occupied for a while," Catherine told Steve.

They both watched the man on the bed closely whenever they talked to him, but so far there simply hadn't been a reaction. Not even when his eyes were open, which they were more often than not.

"Hey, Steve, I need to ask you something," Danny called out to his friend. "You know, Gracie is bugging me to come visit you. I'm running out of arguments why she can't come. You know my daughter, she's relentless. So, I want to know if it would be okay for you if she came by. Maybe next week or so?"

Danny and Cath had discussed this matter, and came to the conclusion that they couldn't keep Grace from her uncle for long. They surely didn't want to scare Grace, but she was a clever girl and knew that Steve had been hurt badly. And no matter how much they all denied the fact, there was the possibility that this was how Steve would be for the foreseeable future. They simply couldn't deny Grace's wish to see her beloved uncle. No matter how hard it would be.

"Is Grace prepared for it now?" Catherine asked.

"Her therapist talked to her about brain injuries and what to expect," Danny told her about Grace's therapist she had been seeing since she had been kidnapped. "You know, Grace handled Steve without his memory better than we all did. She just took him as he was after he lost his memory. She told me one day, he was still her uncle Steve, it didn't matter if _**he**_ remembered her, _**she**_ remembered him and loved him still the same."

"Your daughter is pretty amazing," Cath whispered.

"Yeah," Danny agreed.

They both fell silent for a few minutes and watched their friend sleep. Both fully knowing that he was not just sleeping, even though the doctors had assured them he wasn't in a coma either. There had been a lot of brain activity in the last couple of days, way more than before. That gave them hope, but it still didn't make Steve react to any stimuli verbally or in a way that showed them he was aware of their presence.

H50 - H50 - H50

"_Keep going!" Steve shouted at his four team mates. "Move it!"_

_Steve was getting a little frustrated; he really should have known better. Teaming up with them was a sure way to lose the race. They would never make it. Not with these four lame ducks on his team._

"_God damn it, Steve, will you slow down!" Danny called out and stopped his ascent after his partner._

"_If we slow down even more, we will never even be in the first ten groups," Steve said, but did stop for a moment. "Don't you guys have any shred of ambition to win this thing?" Steve asked his team. "Come on, it's for a good cause," he tried to motivate them._

_Every one of his team that consisted of Grace, Cath, Danny and Chin only shook their heads at him. "Obviously not as much as you," Catherine panted out._

_The only one not out of breath, beside Steve, was Gracie. All her cheerleading training was now paying off._

"_I think Gracie and I should lead, and leave you lame ducks to take a rest," Steve grinned at them and turned to Grace. "Grace, you wanna win this?"_

"_Yeah!" She told him with excitement in her voice and moved to catch up with her uncle._

"_See, that's the spirit!" Steve called out and high-fived the young girl. _

"_OH NO! No way are you taking my daughter out of my sight," Danny said and stood up from the rock he was sitting on. "Gracie, come back here, you're not going with that whack job on your own. No way." _

"_Are you serious, Danny?" Steve asked in a slightly angry voice when Danny pulled his daughter away from him._

"_Am I serious? Deadly serious. Last time you were alone with Grace you lost her in the mall," Danny reminded him of their last little adventure._

"_But Danno, that was not Uncle Steve's fault. I went out the restroom the wrong way and had to walk all the way around to get back to Uncle Steve," Grace told her father with a pout on her face._

"_Doesn't matter, I don't trust your uncle to watch out for you."_

_Deadly silence settled over the scene. Steve looked with huge eyes at his partner and then shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts. He gently touched his left ear where he had been hit by a branch earlier. The little cut had soaked the band aid they had put on it._

"_I see," was all Steve said. "We should keep moving if we ever want to reach the finish line." Steve turned without another word and took off with his team slowly trotting after him. _

_Steve thought back at when Grace had asked him to participate in the challenge race for her school. All entry money and what they sold at the stands at the finish line would go to a good cause. They had needed to build a team, and it had been easy to get Cath and Chin on board; back then he had been sure they were a good fit. Now he knew better._

_Only Gracie was really in the boat with him, cheering as loud as he was when they slid down the long natural water slide, crawled through the mud and climbed over the rocks and up and down the trees._

_The others were only shaking their heads at him and Grace having such fun getting wet, muddy and in Steve's case, a bit bloody. It felt like he and Grace were a real team, but the others didn't want anything to do with him. _

_And now Danny made it clear that he couldn't even have Gracie on his team. Steve marched on, lost in his thoughts, and came to the conclusion that he was on his own even among his team, his so called ohana._

H50 - H50 - H50

**Steve's hospital room - 0950 hours**

Cath took the book out of her bag and began reading: "Well, first of all, you're dealing with a mass murderer," I tell them, then explain how that's different from serial murderer and spree killers. A serial killer is hunting human beings for the... Cath paused and looked at the man in the bed.

"Really, Steve, this is what you read in your free time? _The Anatomy of Motive_ by John Douglas?" Catherine read the title of the book and shook her head. "Well, guess you are not the Shades-of-Gray-book-guy", Cath mumbled and slightly blushed thinking of what she had tested with Steve straight from another book she had read.

Before she could start reading again the door opened and Steve's physical therapist entered. Peter Stone was a Canadian who married a Hawaiian girl and now lived in paradise full time. Cath had learned all about him the first time they had met; Peter really was a talker.

"Hey, Catherine, how is Steve today?" He greeted her and took a look at his patient. "Still lazy, huh? Well, we will change that," he told her with a smile.

"Hi, Peter. Nurse Raven said you wanted to talk to me or Danny?"

"Yeah, I would like to show you some exercises you can do with Steve," Peter said as he pulled down the sheet to Steve's waist. "Come here, please, we can start with his arms. The more PT he gets the better. Don't worry, these are easy exercises and they won't hurt him."

"Why does he still have the soft neck brace on?" Cath asked about the brace that was on and off at what she thought random intervals.

"Steve has trouble keeping his neck straight, his head rolls to the side too often. He needs a little help to prevent his neck muscles from getting strained. But he needs to be without it more often than with it so we're doing three hours off; one hour on."

Over the next fifteen minutes, Peter showed her how to stretch the muscles in Steve's arms. He showed her how to rotate the shoulder and the wrists. Of course that only worked on one, they had to be careful with the exercises on the right arm.

"There is resistance," Catherine suddenly called out and almost dropped the left arm.

Peter smiled at her reaction. "I know; he's been flexing his muscles a few times when we do this. I don't think it's a reflex, I think he's doing it on purpose."

Catherine looked down at Steve, but he was just as relaxed as always. There was no indication that he was aware of what was going on.

"Now, let's move to the legs," Peter said and exposed both of Steve's legs. He bunched up the sheet across Steve's lap and took hold of his right leg. "We still need to be a bit careful with his knee, it's still a bit unstable. I have asked the orthopedist to take another look at it."

"You think it's more injured than they first thought?"

"Not sure, I just want to be sure before we cause any damage," Peter explained.

Peter continued to show Cath a few simple exercises she could do with Steve, before he went on to do the more difficult stuff. "Please don't do these with him, he could be injured if they are done incorrectly. But it will help him if you do the stuff I showed you."

"Yeah, okay." Cath was glad to have something she could do for her friend. She had the sneaking suspicion this was as much for her benefit as it was for Steve's. But she didn't really care, she was happy to do anything that might help Steve in any way.

If it was reading to him a book that she found rather disturbing, or if it was doing more or less useless exercises. She would happily spend her hours investing in him, always in the hope that he would wake up from any of it.

H50 - H50 - H50

_**Queen Medical Center - Private Room - Neuroscience Wing  
10 days after the emergency surgery**_

The days went by and Cath, Danny and Chin had found a routine that worked for all of them. Chin would come in the morning at ten and sit with Steve until three in the afternoon, then it was Danny's shift until eight in the evening. Cath had spent every night and morning with Steve.

All three of them read to him, talked to him, did the exercises they were shown to do with him. When they were with him they interacted with Steve in every way possible. Steve was in a private room, but a second bed had been squeezed in there for Catherine who had rarely used it. She always crawled into Steve's bed to catch a few hours of sleep with him. The first night she had done it after he had been declared stable, the night nurse had frowned at her, but hadn't thrown her out.

"Hey, Chin, how is he today?" Danny greeted his friend as he entered Steve's room.

"He's... good I think," Chin said and greeted his work partner. "He was really good at PT, it felt like he tried to fight us. A lot more than usual."

"Fight you?" Danny wanted to know and went to greet his friend. "Hey, Buddy," Danny said and laid his hand on his partner's shoulder. "I'll be right with you, I just need to talk to Chin for a minute."

"What's up, brah?"

"I was with the DA all morning. We went through my statement about the warehouse," Danny told Chin about his morning. "Can you believe it, he asked when he can talk to Steve about his statement."

"Wasn't he informed about what happened?"

"Yeah, he was. He said he didn't realize it was this serious," Danny said and shook his head in disgust.

"They have more than enough evidence without Steve's testimony. Besides he wouldn't tell them anything other than what you told them," Chin assured Danny.

"Probably," Danny grumbled. "Kono called just before I came here," Danny told about the call he had received at the office.

"Did you tell her?" Chin wanted to know.

"No. Like we discussed I didn't want to put her into the position to have to decide between coming here because of Steve and staying and finding Adam," Danny explained.

"Yeah, but at some point we have to tell her. She will be really angry with us," Chin answered. "It was hard enough to talk her out of coming here after Steve was injured two months ago. I doubt she would stay away now. You know that, Danny."

"Yeah, but I don't think Steve would want her here."

"What do you mean by that, Danny?"

"Only that Steve wouldn't want Kono to give up on Adam to be here while he's not even awake," Danny explained further. "He didn't want her to come eight weeks ago because he had no recollection of her at all, and he sure wouldn't want her to come now."

"That's harsh, brah."

"No, think about it... it's the truth. And I really think it wouldn't be fair to Kono... or Adam if she comes here. I mean, really, Chin, what can she do?"

Chin contemplated that for a moment before he spoke, "I guess you're right. But somehow it feels wrong that she's not here."

"I know it does," Danny agreed. "Listen, I have left some paperwork on your desk, can you look through it and see that it gets to Denning?"

"Sure. Call me if you need anything, Danny. Take care of Steve. I'll call if a case comes up," Chin said and left Danny alone with his unconscious friend.

So far it was almost like the bad guys had taken a vacation as soon as Steve had been admitted to the hospital. Other than the 'Warehouse bust' and the arrest of the 'Art thieves' there hadn't been any cases they had to work on.

They were now completely up to date with all their paperwork. Danny had even finished the new filing system Steve had begun on a day he was suffering from sheer boredom.

"So, it's just you and me, Babe," Danny said as he settled down in 'his' chair next to his friend's bed. "What do you wanna do today? Hey, have I told you about Grace's boat excursion? She couldn't stop talking about it. But you know what, I think that is something she should tell you herself. Remember I told you she really wants to see you?" Danny paused for a moment and looked closely at his friend who had a frown on his face.

"Steve? Hey, can you hear me?" Danny grabbed Steve's hand and squeezed it. "If you can hear me, Steve, squeeze my hand."

The frown on Steve's face turned into a soft smile, but he didn't squeeze Danny's hand or show any sign that he had even heard his friend. Even the doctors were not able to tell them what was really going on in Steve's head. They did know from all their tests that there was a lot of activity, but they had no idea why he wouldn't wake up. Or what kind of damage they would be facing when Steve finally decided to wake up.

"Okay, where was I? Right, Gracie. Listen, Steve, I can't keep Grace away any longer. She will come see you tomorrow. And you better prepare yourself, she will tell you in detail what they did on their boat trip," Danny told Steve and had to smile thinking about how excited Grace was to finally see her Uncle Steve again.

Danny, of course was a bit worried if it really was a good idea to let her come. But they couldn't shield her from this forever. Steve was hurt, and he might stay this way, so they had to deal with it at some point.

After now ten days later it was simply time to face the harsh reality. Steve might not wake up.

H50 - H50 - H50

_When did the voice change again? Where did the soft voice go to? The one that smelled so good and spoke so softly to him. And touched him, and best of all kissed him so gently. He loved that the most. The kisses, gentle touches and the smell. He felt safe with her nearby. With her there it wasn't so dark._

_The dark was really getting to him. But when she was close he didn't feel so lost and alone, and the dark was not as bad as without her. Even though the other voices also talked to him, or maybe not to him, he wasn't sure because he didn't understand a single word, it was only the soft voice that took the fear and disorientation away._

_Steve tried to concentrate and follow the sound of the voice. This was the one that talked really fast and loud at times. Steve was sure that voice was angry for some reason. He didn't think the voice was angry at him, just angry in general. He was curious at what kind of person was behind that voice, because it changed so often from loud and angry to soft and caring. But that was far and between._

_But none the less he tried to grab on to it, to let it guide him out of the darkness, but it never worked. He felt so helpless and alone, he longed for the gentle voice to come back. Maybe this time he could reach the voice, or at least get closer to it. But it was always so far away, no matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't catch up. _

_But he would not give up._

H50 - H50 - H50

It was a few minutes to seven when Catherine came to take over from Danny after he had sat with Steve for the last several hours.

"Catherine, hi, you're early. We're not done with the exercises yet," Danny greeted Cath and kept carefully moving Steve's right leg as he had learned.

"Yeah, I finished earlier than I thought," Cath answered and bent to kiss Steve as her greeting. "Hey, Sailor, how're you doing?" She whispered near his ear.

Of course there was no reaction, but Cath would swear Steve smiled whenever she touched him. She didn't care what others said, she was sure he could sense their presence.

"What have you been up to today?" Danny asked and made sure Steve lay comfortably again when he was done with the leg movements.

"I did some research, and talked to a few people," Catherine told him.

"About what?"

"Danny we need to start thinking about transferring Steve to a facility that is better equipped to help him," Catherine softly said and didn't take her eyes off Steve.

"Facility? What the hell are you talking about?" Danny asked with a slightly raised voice.

"I was thinking about Tripler for the short term, but later..."

"What the fuck, Catherine," Danny exploded. "How could you even say something like that, how could you even think it?" Danny was outraged.

"Don't you dare turn my words all around and interpret something I never said," Catherine yelled back. "I never, not even once thought that Steve won't be waking up. Don't you dare say that!"

_The nice voice was back... but it was different. Loud and upset. He didn't like her to be upset. She wasn't mad at him... she was arguing with the loud voice. _

_Why? _

_Their loud words were like bolts of lightning stabbing through the darkness and causing the pain to crescendo in his head. _

_He didn't like this. But he had no idea how to stop them. _

"Then what is this about?" Danny asked in only a slightly lower voice.

"I just want Steve to have the best care possible, Danny," Catherine softly answered. "You have any idea how hard it is to see my best friend, the man I love like this?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I know," Cath said and could see the pain in Danny's eyes, the same she saw whenever she looked into the mirror. "Danny, they have done a good job here, but they are not equipped to give Steve any more than they do," Catherine tried to explain her plan. "Tripler sees cases like Steve's every day. They can handle his special needs a lot better."

"Special needs? He is not a special needs case!" Danny's voice again raised to almost yelling.

"Danny, stop it! Stop making me the bad guy here, I only want what's best for Steve. I love him, and I want to help him!" Cath was also yelling now. She was sure someone would come soon to see what all the ruckus was about.

"Oh, yeah? In shipping him off to some facility?"

"You have NO idea what you're saying, Danny!"

"Ughhh."

They both whipped their heads around when they heard the noise coming from the bed.

"Steve?" Cath instantly hovered over her friend, and saw that his eyes fluttered open.

Something they had done countless times before. But never before had there been any recognition when he finally had managed to open his eyes. They always roamed around without focusing on anything. This time was different.

Danny and Cath looked at their friend in amazement as Steve blinked and tried to focus.

"Steve, can you hear me?" Catherine took his left hand and held it. "Squeeze my hand if you can understand me."

Instead of feeling her hand being squeezed, Catherine heard what they all had been waiting for the last ten days, "Cath?"

A verbal coherent response from their fallen leader.

H50 - H50 - H50


End file.
